People Error
by just-an-artist-pl
Summary: In a world where people without a heart and no feelings - called Dolls - function as servants for rich people, Kurt - famous fashion designer - meets the doll Blaine and wants to keep him. But he has no idea what he is getting himself into. (This is a kind of dark fic.)
1. Dolls

**Hello guys! Some already knew about this fic because I've posted a picture and a trailer on tumblr. I also promised to start posting it on Christmas Eve. But, I still have my other fic 'Fragile Dream' which is almost finished and One Vow (the sequel for Two Coins). So it might take a while before I post the second chapter. As soon as I finish Fragile Dream (which I enjoy a lot and feel sad about the end) I'll focus on this fic as well as on One Vow. **

**Now, this fic, 'People Error', I came up with when I was listening to a song called 'People Error'. This fic won't be fluffly all the time and it's supposed to be rather dark, but we'll see if I succeed doing that (it is the plan now but who knows, I've never written anything as dark as this fic is planned to be). Here you'll find angst, a lot of and a rather cruel world, but you'll also find fluff, love and all the things we enjoy so much. So, let's start and Merry Christmas to you guys! I hope this fic will be like a gift for you. :) You can fine the trailer on my tumblr blog.  
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><p>Chapter 1. Dolls<p>

Kurt loved his job. He always had a weakness for fashion and designing clothes so it was not really hard to decide what to do after high school. He went to Chicago, studied fashion and costume design and graduated with a pretty good degree. Feeling proud of himself was never something he was ashamed of. Confidence was sexy and knowing himself too. His friends and family supported him, too, and were equally proud, if not more. Especially his father was his biggest fan and supported him, although fashion was not really his world. It didn't need to be, he saw how happy his son was because he could do what he loved to do.

Kurt always smiled when he thought about the past 26 years. He had a lovely childhood, although he had lost his mother. High school was harder, especially when he came out as gay. Bullies, insults, harassment, all this stuff that made him feel like scared. alone and sometimes he even wished to just disappear. But he had his dad, friends who supported him and he found his own confidence and fought back. After that things were easier for him because he found his own strength. So he rather focused on the good things and smiled.

College was a total different, new and even better experience. Yes, with all the homework, exams, essays it was not easy, not at all. But the people were far more open, far more friendly and accepting. During college Kurt Hummel had his first boyfriend and explored all the firsts. Dates, kisses, cuddles and eventually sex. He had dated three guys in the 3 years of College and then his life became crazy, leaving no room for a boyfriend.

Before he even got his degree in fashion, one of the already famous and rich designers called him, asking Kurt to create a dress for him. His name was George Orphan and became Kurt's mentor. George was an awesome designer, one Kurt always looked up to so he was more than surprised when he got the call and George was more than pleased with Kurt's talent and suddenly more and more people asked for Kurt's talent.

That was three years ago. Kurt was now creating his own clothes but he had no fashion line. No collection of clothes. All his dresses, all suits, all skirts and shirts, everything was unique, created for people who paid the right price – to put it simple, Kurt was working for a lot of rich people and went to their homes, to create something for them and their family and friends. He often thought about opening his own shop, start his own line, but he liked to create something unique. Maybe he'd consider this idea years later, but not now.

With 26 years Kurt Hummel was world famous, had enough money to not worry about his life and doing what he loved. But he never forgot where he came from, what his life used to be and never let the fame, the money affect him. He still lived in a small apartment with one guestroom. Of course he allowed himself some luxury like the huge TV in his living room, designer clothes from his favorite designers, and other little things. Every month he gave his father some money just because he could and also donated for charities.

Every year he also designed clothes for children that had none. It was an old need deep inside him to make this world a better place.

Beside his family and his work, Kurt also had amazing friends who living in New York. When he finished college Kurt wanted to stay in Chicago but it was easier to live in New York were most of his customers were. Los Angeles, Paris, Tokyo, those were places he visited during the year. But nothing was better than home and that was in his own apartment or his hometown, Lima. He smiled over all these memories, how he went through hell, how he worked hard and eventually succeeded.

Sitting in their usual bar he took another sip from his drink and waited for his friends to come. While waiting he pulled out his phone and read some news, eyebrows knitted together when he read an article about another Doll forgotten on the streets, another Doll found dead.

His life was good, warm and bright, but the things that happened around him were sad and horrible.

"There he is!" heard Kurt Sebastian saying and looked up, pushing his phone back into his pockets and putting on a smile.

Behind Sebastian were Hunter and Elliott, but Mercedes was nowhere to be seen.

"Hey guys," smiled Kurt and stood up to hug them hello.

They sat down together, ordering their drinks and for the next hours Kurt forgot about the Dolls. He listened to the stories about Sebastian and Hunter who were, well, people thought they were cops. They were, it was not even a lie but that was not everything they did. They were also working as private detectives and Kurt did not only once call them sneaky bastards. After years of working as cops – they were three years older than Kurt – they were confronted with so much injustice that they wanted to help other people in a different way.

As police man the laws were huge boundaries and not always helping them. As private detectives, well, the laws were bendy – like Sebastian used to call it. Oh, and of course they were a couple, a kinky couple. Kurt often wondered how he ended up being their friend. A friend of pseudo criminals, focused on doing good things and help people.

Elliott, on the other hand, was also a designer. While Kurt majored in fashion Elliott did that in costume design and worked in the theaters of New York, also pretty well knows in this business. They met in Chicago and shared a dorm together.

Mercedes was his long time friend. They met each other in high school and after graduation Kurt went to Chicago and she to California. Three years later she opened her own studio in New York and was now looking for talents.

All in all he had amazing friends who also shared the same point of view he had about the Dolls. They thought it was wrong, completely wrong.

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><p>Monday morning Kurt stood up early, took a shower and made himself some breakfast in his open kitchen, while the news played in the background. He dried his hands after cleaning the dishes, reached out for his tie, resting on the chair, and began to tie it around his neck while listening to the woman from the news channel speaking.<p>

"_Mister Feron held a speech today and asking all Doll-Owners to not abandon their Dolls nor kill them. If people are unhappy with their Doll he asks the owners to give them back to him..."_

Kurt scoffed, rolling his eyes and changed the channel. Richard Feron, the boss of 'Doll Company' for thirty years now. He questioned the whole family and everything they did and stand for since he understood what they were actually doing. His dad told him about the story of the Dolls, that, suddenly people were born without hearts and going out of control. Richard Feron's grandfather, who had been a social worker, opened a company for those, back then, still considered as humans, and took care of them.

Because they had no hearts they were unable to feel and only did what they saw, what other people showed them. So he made it his mission to teach and raise them and then he sold them to rich people for a ridiculous high price so they could have them as 'servants'. When Kurt understood that he was shocked because the Dolls were, for him, humans. But there were the human rights and the Doll rights. Now it was a normal thing. Almost every person he worked with had a Doll and it was true, they didn't really act like humans. They never smiled, never spoke when they were not allowed to. They just functioned, existed to serve other people.

Sometimes he witnessed how rude they treated their Dolls, how they yelled at the new Dolls who still needed to learn how to make the tea of a rich person, what to answer if they were asked a question, when to stay silent. How some kicked or slapped their Dolls if they made a mistake. Very soon Kurt found a new word for how the Dolls got treated. Like slaves.

He shook his head, not wanting to think about this because there was nothing he could do. The Dolls belonged to their world like apples did. A normal thing no one really thought about, but only rich people owned and apparently needed them.

Kurt put on his shoes, coat and scarf, picked up his keys and phone and left his apartment. On his way to his car he answered Elliott's text, then Mercedes' who apologized for not meeting them at the bar. There was another text from Sebastian and Hunter but he decided to check those later. Outside he climbed inside his car and drove to his new customer.

It was always exciting to meet a new customer. This meant he could create something new and also make new connections. Some helpful some he declined tight away. All these rich people had one thing in common, they didn't appreciate the simple things. Well, not all of them but many of them. They were blinded by their money and thought they had it all, but Kurt had rarely seen true happiness. George was one of those rich people who never forgot where he came from and still smiled about the simple things in live. The coffee in the morning, meeting an old friend, watch old movies, stuff like that. Miss Rose was also one of those lovely people with an incredible sense for fashion. She was a nice old lady, doing everything to make this world a better place, but never buying bullshit. Kurt witnessed how she called other people out on their bullshit many times and it was refreshing but also something that made him enjoy his job even more. The other four people were rather part of the 'not so likeable' list, but the price they paid for his clothes was more than good.

Now he was going to visit his new client and hoped it was one of those nice rich people. He had never heard of Mister Duncan Williams, but George said he asked for Kurt and only Kurt. It was not the first time people asked for him and suggested him a price for his work, no need to deny it because people loved his clothes and he was damn proud of it. This was his job, what he loved to do and he always gave 120%.

As he arrived at the hotel, one of those fancy and expensive ones, Kurt just rolled his eyes and parked the car. It was their money, not his, and if his clients decided to meet at a hotel and throw with thousands of dollars around them, let them. He wouldn't do that just for a meeting and not for anything else. With his briefcase in one hand and keys in the other he walked inside the huge building, a metallic blue the main color of it and took the elevator to the restaurant.

Kurt pulled out his phone, opened the mail from Mister Williams and took one last look at the picture. A man with small blue eyes, old and head hairless and a white beard around his mouth. If he had to describe him Kurt would have said this man looked like any other business man. Maybe even a little bit cold. With a sigh he left the elevator as it stopped and hoped he was wrong. Head high and eyes searching he looked over the tables and found the Duncan Williams, sitting at a table alone and doing something on his tablet. Kurt breathed in, smoothed his suit down with his hand and approached his new client.

"Mister Williams?" he asked, his own business smile on his lips when the man looked at him. "I'm Kurt Hummel."

"Oh, hello Mister Hummel. Thanks for coming," Duncan smiled and shook Kurt's hand as he stood up. Obviously, a man with manners and rich – his suit cost 1000 bucks the least. "Please sit down."

With a nod and trying and fake enthusiasm he did that and watched Duncan waving to the bar. The waiter came, Kurt ordering himself a tea – because it was pretty cold outside - and Duncan some water with lemon and made sure to explain how exactly he wanted that water and lemon. Fuck, thought Kurt, he apparently had another idiot rich person. It was easy to tell after years of working with those people.

"May I introduce myself properly. I'm Duncan Williams, from South Africa. I came here to America three months ago and started my business here."

"Oh, what's that?"

"Jewelry. I started in South Africa and now want to expand my business in America."

Jewelry, huh? Kurt took a brief look at Duncan's hands and noticed the rings. Silver mainly, decorated with shining diamonds. Obviously, a man that knew how to create Jewelry but none Kurt would ask for any. He couldn't shake this cold feeling he got from him off.

"And for that I need at least three suits. I saw some of the suits and dresses you've created, Mister Hummel, and I can see how talented you are. I'm sure you'll know what I want and look good in."

"Of course, I know my business."

Kurt had learned to always appear confident but not arrogant. He knew what he could do and what not and he would never say that he was not good in what he did. Confidence was something rich people liked and considered that Kurt's work was worth its price. It was, he had enough evidence how good and talented he was. He was young, yes, but not less talented than someone who had been in this business for decades.

"Confidence, I like that," said Duncan with a pleased smile. It cost Kurt all of his willpower to not role his eyes.

Their drinks came and Duncan paid for it, his attention then back on Kurt.

"So, tell me about the way you work. Do you have your own shop or workplace?"

"I usually work at home or at Mister Orphans tailor shop. But the real work happens at the homes of my clients. Taking the measures, fittings, adding details. I'm pretty flexible and can work from everywhere."

Duncan looked even more pleased and sipped his water with a amused humming noise.

"I have some pictures of dresses and suits I've made," said Kurt and opened his breifcase to hand a black folder – leather made and pretty fancy and only used for his work – with photos and scetches in it. Duncan took the folder and began to flip through the pages, eyes wide, mouth closing and opening from time to time. Even the pleased smile appeared more times than Kurt expected it to see. Well, this guy probably understood truly something about fashion.

"Impressive. Really."

"Thank you, Sir," Kurt replied, business smile on his lips.

"What about the price?"

Now they were talking, thought Kurt and took a sip of his tea, using the seconds of his mouth being busy to think before he asked.

"What do you think, Mister Williams?"

Kurt noticed the small smirk, noticed how Duncan figured the small challenge Kurt put into his voice as he asked that. Then Kurt handed him another piece of paper with the prices. You never talked about money with rich people. You showed them what you were worth and they either said no or yes. Most of them said yes, of course. Who didn't want a unique garment in their closet? Kurt hadn't met any rich person from the high society who said no to that.

"I hope you are wroth your price."

"I am," Kurt said before Duncan's mouth was closed. That surprised the other man but also made him smile. No, Kurt didn't need to convince him and he didn't need to beg for his money. Enough people asked for his service, enough people were ready to pay the price he asked for. His list was long and Duncan was just another rich idiot, thinking he was probably better than anyone.

"Alright. I'm willing to pay the price."

"Good, thank you," Kurt smiled, the tension slowly becoming less. Manners were important, being polite was important so he never hesitated to say hello and thank you when needed.

They talked about the three suits Duncan had in mind. He wanted a dark red one with his own jewelry at the end of the sleeves. A black one with a collar of black diamonds and made of velvet and a white one. Kurt asked about the details like how many buttons he wanted, pants tight or not, belt, shirt color and Duncan looked stunned. Of course, all of them did because there were so many details to consider. Kurt didn't blame them though, it was his job to remember and focus on everything because he created the garment.

After the business talk Kurt knew what would come. The personal talk. Questions about his life and the life of his client. It was always good to know them so he could do something special with their clothes. Of course he waited for Duncan to begin.

"Are you married, Mister Hummel?"

"Kurt is fine," he said to break more of the ice between them and Duncan obviously liked that.

"Kurt, then. And you can call me Duncan."

Kurt nodded, smiling.

"No. I'm not. I'm far too busy with my job and I haven't met the right person, yet. Maybe one day."

The fact that he was gay was no secret. But he didn't feel the need to tell people that nor remind them of that, it had nothing to do with his job. Also, the fact that he was single was rather pleasing for his clients because it meant he had more time for them. Of course Kurt had one night stands and went out with guys, just to do something that was not in his schedule and, maybe, meet the right guy with some luck. Which was easier said then done with his own point of view on certain things.

All the guys he had met were supportive when it came to Dolls. They said stuff like, it's nice to have someone doing all the stuff for you, or, it's not our fault that they have no heart. Yes, they did have no heart and literally felt nothing. But, for Kurt, they were still humans. He had met so many Dolls, saw their empty eyes, their unreadable faces but they still smiled when something was funny, they still looked sad when they got called out on something or punished for doing a mistake. People said it was a logical reaction they learned through books and movies. Those Dolls most likely ended up on the streets or died by 'accident'.

Whenever he heard this, that a Doll was found dead he wanted to scream. No one ever talked about the people who hated Dolls because they were not only for rich people but some of them also worked at various places and took workplaces away. Bad for any person who needed a job and made them hate them. Of course there were also people who thought they were demons or whatever. Just like some people hated gay people, some hated Dolls.

"Well, that's good for your job. From what I get you are pretty busy but doing an excellent work."

Kurt smirked at him, proud and happy. Oh yeah, he did a good job. Then it was his turn to ask Duncan and figured out that he had been married, twice, but it never worked out. They got divorced and now he enjoyed his life as a single man. He had no kids, no family, but a mansion outside of New York. Kurt's new workplace. Why people like him needed so much space was a secret for Kurt. His little apartment for maybe three people was enough for him.

"What about your schedule?" Duncan asked and finished his water.

"I have two clients who need me next week, but I'm free the rest of this week."

"And today?"

"I have another appointment."

He did not but it was better to make one thing clear. He wouldn't just jump because one of the rich people wanted him to. If Kurt wanted, he could have their life, their status, he had enough money, people knew him all over the world. It could have been so easy for him to be like them. Ask for things, buy things, but he did not. He wanted to be the simple guy, wanted to keep a rather simple life.

"What about tomorrow morning?"

"Alright," Duncan said, nodded and handed Kurt his business card and a note with his address. Kurt gave him his own business card, because that was how it worked. They left the restaurant together, again, talking about the suit and then jewelry. If he liked rings, or bracelets or necklaces, gold silver and Kurt answered. Outside, on the parking lot, he walked with Duncan until they reached his car and when the door opened Kurt, for the first time ever in his career, didn't pay attention to what Duncan was saying.

Out of the car climbed a young man with dark hair, smoothed down with gel and wearing a black suit, white gloves and looked a lot like a butler. He was a bit smaller than Kurt, maybe a year younger and his eyes. They were not shining, they were empty. This guy who caught his attention, who made his heart do a weird jump was a Doll and it felt like he noticed one for the first time ever in his life. They were raised to be keep a low profile. They were taught to do what others told them and obey orders. Kurt usually didn't pay much attention to them because it hurt him to see how they were treated. He was scared to feel pity, feel responsible and do something he didn't want to nor was ready to.

This Doll, however, he couldn't ignore. This Doll was, despite the empty eyes and the missing emotion on his face, beautiful.

"See you tomorrow then," Duncan said and Kurt felt his hand on his shoulder, which actually brought him out of his stare and thoughts.

"Yes, tomorrow," he mumbled and smiled, remembering where he was and why he was here.

The Doll opened the door, Duncan climbed inside, his Doll following him and then they drove off.

* * *

><p>After a lunch meeting with Mercedes and a brief visit at George' workplace Kurt finally arrived home. Although the day had been less exhausting and busy than other days, Kurt felt like he could sleep for days. The Doll, he didn't even know his name, didn't leave his mind. It was not like he had a crush or was interested, it didn't feel like that. It was just there, a thought he couldn't shake off and had no idea why.<p>

This Doll was not the first pretty Doll he had met, not the last either. It was not the first Doll he felt worried about or pity for. But it was the first Doll he really looked at and this bothered him a lot. Many people, especially his clients had asked him, why he didn't have a Doll himself – after all, Kurt was rich and famous. He always said he didn't need one yet, maybe one day. Which, of course, was a lie. He never wanted to have a Doll and control someone. He never wanted to use someone he considered as a human being.

He shook his head, took a shower and went to sleep. It was a weird day after all and maybe his mind just needed a break.

The next morning he drove to Duncan's place and when he arrived he just stared at the huge, white colored mansion for a while. This, by any means, was way too huge for just one person. Well, he had no idea if it was just Duncan who lived there. There was also the young man – Doll – and some other people working for him. Someone had to keep those rooms and halls clean, right?

God, Duncan truly seemed to be like many rich people. Throwing around with money and thinking he was better than anyone. At least, that was still the feeling Kurt had about him. But he could be wrong and he would figure it out soon enough. His job, that was important and should be his main focus. Only, when he climbed out of his car and knocked against the black wooden door, everything came back. All the thoughts about the Doll he had seen yesterday, his heart making this weird jump again and his eyes searching for something he knew would never be there to find. A light in those too empty golden eyes.

"Good morning, Mister Hummel. I'm Blaine, I belong to Sir Duncan."

Kurt felt sick when he heard the words. No one belonged to anyone, was what he wanted to scream but didn't do.


	2. Empathy

Chapter 2. Empathy

When Kurt walked inside and found himself in a huge hall – like a palace complete in white and black – he felt cold. Not the kind of cold when you shiver because it's freezing. It was the kind of cold you felt when you walked into a lifeless house and immediately felt uncomfortable. Really, the cold November weather was more comfortable than this. But it was not the first time he walked through a house, mansion, whatever and felt that way. This was yet new. Huge stairs in the middle of the hall, left and right a path to whatever rooms, floor white and black just like the walls.

The door closed behind him and he smiled at Blaine who didn't look at Kurt. He just stood there, straight, in his butler outfit and then moved, gesturing with his white gloved hand down the hall.

"Sir Duncan is waiting in the main guestroom. Please, follow me."

Kurt nodded and followed Blaine through the hallway on the right side. He walked pass big windows, showing the garden covered in white snow. The further he followed Blaine inside, the more this cold feeling grew. He saw a woman cleaning the floor, heard some classic music playing – and becoming louder the closer they came to a dark door – but nothing else. No voices, no other people talking or laughing. There was nothing that screamed life inside this building. Which was not really surprising because Duncan had no family.

Blaine opened the door and Kurt found himself in a huge room with windows in front of him, showing the garden. On the left side was a fireplace, shelves with books, a couch, armchair and coffee table. On the left side was a table with six chairs and a lot of space to walk around. He was sure this would be his workplace, because on the coffee table were fabric roles – he could tell they were the best of the best – and boxes with jewelry.

"Welcome, Kurt," Duncan's voice came from the left side and Kurt watched him appear around the corner, smiling and dressed in a black button up and jeans.

"Hello, Mister Duncan. I see you already bought some fabric?"

"I did," he said, nodding and then looked at Blaine. "Make us some tea."

"Yes, Sir."

Blaine went off and Kurt tried not to look after him. He had learned in the past years that a Doll was not worth any kind of attention beyond giving orders. Some, like Miss Rose, who treated her Dolls like human beings, appreciated his point of view. There he could joke with the Dolls and just treat them like any other human being.

"What do you say about the fabric?" Duncan asked and sat down at the table, looking at Kurt like he was waiting for some kind of approval that he did find the best fabric in all of New York. Kurt tried not to sigh and rather focused on his job. Bag left on one of the chairs he reached out for the fabric roles and touched them. He didn't really need to, he knew them – they were from George.

"It's truly the best. Good choice," Kurt said and sat down as Blaine came back, balancing a silver tablet in his hands. He placed it down on the table gave Kurt his cup while saying.

"I didn't know what you like, Mister Hummel. So, I brought you sugar and lemon just in case."

"Just sugar is fine," Kurt added and wanted to smile but did not. Duncan wouldn't approve and he didn't want to show him his true thoughts. It was the right decision because what then happened was evidence enough how right he was about Duncan.

He had taken his cup, a sip and then poured the hot liquid down on Blaine's shoes. Pure terror ran through his body when he saw this, that humiliating gesture but didn't show it on his face. He didn't even flinch because it was not the first time he witnessed something like this. To be honest, he had witnessed worse situations. Yet, this was different.

"I told you times and times again I don't like sugar in it, Blaine."

"I'm sorry, Sir. Forgive me, Sir."

He said it without any emotion in his voice nor in his eyes. Blaine just said it because that was what every Doll said when they made a mistake. Some were punished by words. Some by hands.

"Go make a new one and clean up this mess."

Blaine nodded and left the room once again. Kurt silently took his own cup and added some sugar and lemon, just to be busy with something and waiting for Duncan to speak.

"Glad you found this place. I know some people don't find it right away."

"Oh, no worries. I'm familiar with the places rather outside of New York. Many of my clients have their mansions away form the loud city."

Duncan smiled pleased. "So, how do you usually start?"

"I usually draw an example before I use any piece of fabric. It's expensive, but also too beautiful to be wasted. That's why I need you to stand so I can take some body measurements and then you need to stand still so I can draw your front, profile and back."

"Hm, not only talented with the needle and thread but also an artist, I suppose?"

"Well, kind of. I'm more comfortable with the needle and thread," he giggled just to lighten the mood and reached for his sketchbook as Duncan stood up. While taking the measurements Blaine came back with a new cup of tea and a bucket of hot water. Kurt didn't pay much attention while Duncan could see his face, but as soon as he turned around so that he was no longer facing him, Kurt did look at Blaine and gave him a look like he tried to say sorry.

He didn't know if Blaine knew this look, but he noticed how the empty eyes looked at him for a moment as he cleaned the floor.

* * *

><p>The next day Kurt arrived and someone else opened the door for him. It was a young lady, obviously not a Doll who smiled at him and let him inside. He gave her his coat and walked to the huge room they'd been using the day before. The fabric and jewelry was waiting for him on the table and he already reached for his sketchbook to start when he heard footsteps.<p>

It was not Duncan who came, it was Blaine not exactly walking but rather limping. Yet, he tried to hide it the closer he came to Kurt.

"Good morning, Mister Hummel. Sir Duncan will join you in a moment. Do you want some tea or maybe something to eat? Or do you need anything else?"

"Um, no. I'm fine, thank you."

Then Blaine left the room and soon Duncan came instead, a pleased smile on his face. Together they began with the first suit, the dark red one with jewelry on its sleeves. Kurt tried not to wonder what had happened, tried not to think about Blaine at all. He knew many Dolls got beaten up, punished for little things and he had seen it yesterday. How some sugar was enough to humiliate Blaine – although he probably didn't even know what that meant or that it happened.

It shouldn't bother him. Not even a little bit. But it bothered Kurt a lot so that at the end of the week he had a hard time keeping his mouth shut. In the past 4 days, Kurt witnessed Duncan yelling at Blaine, reminding him about the little mistakes he did. It were really little mistakes. He forgot to leave the sugar out, he forgot to close the windows in the bathroom, he forgot to clean the shoes. Really, it were little things and Kurt didn't understand why it would upset a person so much.

On the fourth day he finally felt comfortable enough to ask questions about Blaine.

"Is Blaine your first Doll? Or is he just new?"

From his experience, every Doll that got a new owner needed its own time to become 'perfect'. Perfect was, following all orders and to know what to do without being reminded or that the owner had to explain it over and over again. A Doll that made mistakes was a worthless Doll. They, most likely, ended up on the streets and got killed or died because of hunger. Or, very rarely, got back to Richard Feron.

"He is new," Duncan began to explain while Kurt stood behind him and fixed the collar of the suit. "I bought him two months ago and he still does all these stupid mistakes. It's frustrating. He belonged to a man who died three months ago and they said he is doing a perfect job."

"How long did he belong to his former owner?"

"Six years."

"Well, then he should know how to follow orders and learn quickly."

Kurt knew it was bullshit what he said and it left a bad taste in his mouth. What he wanted to say was, every person needs their time to get used to a new life. Dolls weren't labeled as human beings. But luckily, no one owned a Doll younger than 18 years old. It was against the law to own a Doll that was basically still a child. From the day they are born they belong to Richard Feron and stay at his company and attend a 'Doll School' for 18 years. They learn to read and write, history, everything any other person learns and, of course, how to become the perfect servant.

"So, he is twenty four years old?" Kurt had no idea why he asked this but he needed to know.

"No. He is twenty six. When Blaine turned eighteen people were basically fighting for him because he is so pretty and adorable. They all wanted him, so, of course Mister Feron waited before he sold him. I got him for a pretty low price only because he belonged to someone else for six years."

Kurt took the jacket off of Duncan and nodded to himself before taking the little diamonds and sewed them on the sleeves. That Blaine was pretty Kurt couldn't deny. But it was more than his pretty face that made him care about him. It was more but he couldn't say what it was.

"He does have a pretty face, don't you think?" asked Duncan and looked over to Blaine, who stood at the same spot next to the window. He didn't move. He was perfectly still, like a statue. Kurt stopped what he was doing, looked up and something twisted inside him. The look Duncan gave Blaine, the way he said it... it made Kurt feel sick all over again.

"Yes, he has a pretty face," he said because it was the right thing to say in front of Duncan.

* * *

><p>"I swear to God, one day I'll just snap," Kurt groaned as he let himself fall on his couch, head resting on Mercedes' thigh. "All they do is treat the Dolls like shit and kill them just because they hate them."<p>

"Not all of them, Kurt."

"It doesn't change the fact that some do. I just... I don't think it's right just because they are not like... humans. They were still born the same way we all were just... without a heart."

"What gotten into you, though? Usually you don't act like you do now."

She was right, thought Kurt. The first year he did complain a lot and constantly talked about how wrong all this Doll philosophy was. Then, however, he needed to understand one thing. If he wanted to keep his job and earn money, he needed to keep his personal opinion to himself. Rich people did not understand him. His first year had been a rocky road because there were these rumors about him being supportive when it came to Dolls. Many of his clients broke deals or didn't even start one with Kurt. Those, like Miss Rose or George kept him and taught him to not say anything, to accept how it was.

After a while Kurt's skin got thicker and he did stop giving disgusting looks or making an unnecessary comment about his disapproval. He learned to look away, to ignore the Dolls and just do his job. Only when he was home or at his friends place did he feel comfortable enough to show how he truly felt and say it out loud.

"I... I met this guy, Blaine."

"Oh, must be someone special when you remember his name," Mercedes teased him.

"Ha ha, not funny. He is a Doll."

Their eyes met, both silent and then Kurt sat up, massaging his forehead before he explained.

"I don't even know. I've seen many Dolls but he just... I don't even know. But this guy treats him so badly I have a hard time keeping my mouth shut."

He wished he knew why he cared so much. He wished he knew what to do, because suggesting to give Blaine away to someone else, to someone better was the wrong way to go. No one ever questioned how people treated their Dolls, no one every said something against it. It was none of their business, but rather a sign that someone cared. In his world, it was smarter to not care about them.

"If your client is not killing him nor ready to sell him you can't do anything Kurt. No one of us can. I know you care, we all do, but... you know how society is." Mercedes said and tried to calm him down.

"I know... even if he was ready to sell him, what should I do? Buy Blaine? You know I never wanted to have a Doll. I don't want to... control someone or give them orders and you know how people expect other people to treat their Dolls. I couldn't do that in public."

"I'm not saying you should buy him, Kurt. Maybe George can do that. He has so many Dolls in his company and they are all safe and people care about them."

"I know," he sighed and a warm smile stretched over his lips. George was not only an incredible designer and good friend, he also cared about the Dolls and bought so many to give them a better life. "But I doubt he has space for more."

"Well, you have two options here. Either you do something or you forget him. We can't do much to help him and you know no one of us will buy a Doll. We aren't like that."

Kurt sighed and nodded. No one of his friends had a Doll and no one wanted one. They thought it was wrong, just like he did. Also, those Dolls were raised to follow orders, to do whatever their owner asked for and he was not sure what would happen, if they didn't get any orders told. He never made this kind of research because he was paranoid. What if someone hacked his computer and found tons of information about that? Nope, not gonna take this risk, he thought.

His doorbell rang and he stood up to welcome Sebastian and Elliott but no Hunter.

"Hey guys, where's Hunter?"

"Minding his own business. Actually a business you'll like." Sebastian smirked and hugged Kurt hello when he walked inside. Elliott doing the same with a smirk on his face.

In the past weeks he noticed that both, Sebastian and Hunter were acting weird. Not the creepy kind of weird or the one that made a person suspicious. It was the one when you became curious but didn't ask because you weren't sure if you wanted to know the truth or not.

"Is the door closed?" asked Sebastian as he sat down on the armchair and Elliott hugged Mercedes before he sat down next to her.

"Stop being so weird, you make me nervous and not the good kind of nervous," Kurt complained as he locked his door and even made sure the windows were closed. Then he sat down on the armrest, next to Mercedes, glaring at Sebastian's smirk.

"Well, to put it simple. Hunter got a job at 'Doll Company'."

"What?" exclaimed Kurt and Mercedes together, Elliott just stared at Sebastian in disbelief.

"Wait... I thought you were against this company?" Mercedes spoke first and not hiding how disgusted she felt. Kurt was sure if she could, she would have spitted fire and he would have helped her to let it all hit their friend.

"We are. Calm the fuck down and let me explain."

Mercedes did not, either did Kurt. Only Elliott gave them a look like he was saying, wait and listen. Elliott, the only real sanity in their little group of friends. So Kurt breathed in, crossed his arms and waited for Sebastian to explain. After all, he should know his friend and also know, that he was not a bad guy, not to his friends.

"You probably noticed that we've been working on something."

"I was sure it had something to do with your sex life," snapped Kurt and saw how Elliott and Mercedes did not try to snort of giggle.

"Well, Hummel. We at least have one. You can always join us."

"Ew, no thanks."

Mercedes did laugh then and Elliott wrinkled his nose because, no. They once stumbled into Sebastian and Hunter doing stuff and... no. Not ever again they promised each other.

"Anyway. Hunter got a job at Doll Company and we've been trying to get into this company for months. We didn't tell you anything because it was top secret. Well, it still is, but I know you guys can shut up."

"And what is he doing there? I thought you were against this company?" Elliott asked and raised an eyebrow in suspicion.

"Because we hate them, we tried to get into this company to sneak around and maybe find something."

Mercedes made a questioning noise, just like Kurt did and they all waited for Sebastian to say more, who just grinned from ear to ear. Oh, Kurt knew that smirk. This was Sebastian being all sure about himself or a plan he had. Usually it worked out because he went ways Kurt wouldn't even consider. Some weren't exactly legal.

"Find like what?" Elliott asked.

"I don't know. But I have a feeling like something is up. We all agree on that, right? That something is not exactly right about this company."

Kurt couldn't do anything else but agree. They always had a bad feeling about this company but they were smart enough to know, working against them was stupid and would ruin them. Ruin their careers and many people would turn their back on them. So he actually smiled at Sebastian and felt lucky to have such a friend. Maybe, they'd find something and could do something to safe the Dolls.

* * *

><p>Although Sebastian's news were making him happy, they also made Kurt doubt. Doll Company was not just any company. It was one of the most powerful companies in their world and what could he and his friend do against them, even if they found something that was anything but right? People were born without hearts and doing what others taught them. If they saw violence they did the same, thinking it was right. If they saw love they fell all over strangers because they thought it was right. That's what they knew about the Dolls, they did what they saw and Doll Company made sure to raise them right.<p>

People were convinced about the slogan from Doll Company.

_'We are here to take care of the people without hearts. So, that they won't hurt themselves or any other person. We help them to get a life, doing us and themselves a favor.'_

Kurt always had a bad feeling about that. Or maybe he just had it because so many people treated the Dolls so badly.

Monday came way too quickly and he found himself at Duncan's mansion. He closed the door to his car and approached the front door but stopped in his tracks. His eyes found Blaine, standing next to the door in the snow, eyes focused on the ground. No jacket, no hat, no scarf, just his butler outfit. They may have been Dolls, they may have had no heart. But they still needed to eat and drink, to sleep and kept warm like any other human being. He hurtled over and gasped when he saw that Blaine had no shoes on, just socks.

"Good Morning, Mister Hummel," said Blaine and Kurt could tell he tried not to stutter or shake.

"What are you doing here?"

"I was a bad boy. Sir Duncan sent me out to wait for you. Only with your arrival, I'm allowed to go back inside."

Kurt nodded and didn't even think before he grabbed Blaine's arm and pulled him out of the snow, right to the door and pushed him gently inside. The way Blaine exhaled taught Kurt something new about the Dolls. They did feel something. Maybe no emotions like anger or love but they still felt pain, coldness and hotness. They, perhaps, felt all the things that had nothing to do with your heart and soul. He watched Blaine putting his shoes back on, not even taking the wet socks off.

"You're okay?"

"Yes," Blaine answered and just stood still like he was taught to. "Please, follow me."

Kurt followed Blaine to the usual room and just felt like screaming. Whatever Blaine did it could have never been so bad to punish him by standing outside in the cold snow. What was it now, Kurt wondered. Did he forget to clean up a cup? Or forgot to put his gloves on?

Back in the usual room Kurt finished the first suit – the dark red one with the jewelry at its sleeves – and felt more relaxed after doing something. Creating clothes always calmed him down and made him re-focus on the world around him. Because Duncan had noticed how angry he was, how something bothered him and Kurt blamed the traffic for his mood instead of calling Duncan out.

When he was done with the suit, Duncan looked at in awe and didn't stop praising Kurt for his good work.

"It feels so good under my hands and it fits perfectly. Really, I'm impressed."

"Only the best for my clients," Kurt said and smiled. Not as proud as usually but still with some in it.

"I'll be wearing this to the Christmas party in a month. Any kind of red is always perfect for Christmas. All eyes will be on me because Kurt Hummel created something for me." Duncan spoke and spoke, more to the reflection in the mirror than to Kurt. He used those seconds to take a look at Blaine. He clutched his hands, shifted a bit on his feet probably only because Duncan was busy with himself. God, he felt sick all over again and wished he could just take Blaine away from here, take him somewhere else where it was safe and warm.

This thought shocked him because it was not the kind of thought that went through his head unnoticed, or the one without a real meaning. This thought meant something because it was not leaving his mind. It was there, clear as a sky without one single cloud and the sun filling it with enough light so he saw the beautiful blue color. He wanted to _buy _Blaine free and he was not sure if this empathy was a good or a bad thing.

* * *

><p><strong>Hope you guys enjoyed this chapter :) I was in a very bad mood and couldn't write anything happy so I decided to write on this fic because it helped me to... get some of the bad things in my soul and head out. I feel better now. Please, leave me some reviews so I know what you guys think, wish for or want to see. Thank you!<strong>


	3. Money

**Warnings for: violence, attempted rape, murder/dead bodies.**

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><p>Chapter 3. Money<p>

It was the first week of December when Kurt finally accepted the idea of buying Blaine free. He accepted the thought and to do it, but the uncertain outcome, that was what truly scared him. He never had a Doll, never wanted one and had no idea what to do with them. What if they were taught to follow orders and only orders? What if they had no free will? It made him feel like he wanted to jump out of his skin and get a new one, when he thought about 'controlling' Blaine. He never wanted to control anyone because it just felt wrong. Even the idea of buying Blaine free felt wrong. He didn't want to buy him free. He wanted Blaine safe and far away from Duncan.

Whatever Duncan did to him, because Kurt was sure there was more happening compared to what he witnessed, it was enough. He had seen many Dolls being treated like shit. Forgotten in some dirty alley, taking their last breath and even things done to them worse than death. He was so used to all of that, that he tuned out. Nothing reached his ears, his eyes never saw a thing again, not when he was outside of his apartment.

But he knew he couldn't look away anymore, he couldn't just accept what Blaine went through. How Duncan yelled at Blaine, punished him for stupid reasons and Kurt didn't even want to know what happened, when he was not around. Blaine didn't limp one time. He limped every week at least once, and who knew what was hidden under Blaine's clothes. That was just too much for him to see and just... accept.

The only thing he needed to figure out was, how to get Blaine free. What if Duncan didn't want to sale Blaine because of his pretty face. The way Duncan always talked about Blaine's pretty face or how he looked at him told Kurt, that, it wouldn't be so easy to buy him free, or at all.

On the first Sunday of December, he visited Elliott in the theater he was working at, a familiar place for Kurt and one he liked a lot. He greeted the actors and co-workers while he made his way through the backstage – taking his coat and scarf off - and stopped at Elliott's door, knocking against it and smirked when he heard Elliott's annoyed voice.

"I said I'm not done yet, Joanna!"

Kurt bit his lip to stop the smirk but he couldn't help himself. He opened the door and heard Elliott groan, hands holding the end of a dress and fixing the ripped part. But he stopped, turned his head to the door and was about to yell as he noticed who it was.

"Joanna, huh? Let me guess, dress number three she ruined today?" Kurt asked and closed the door behind him.

"Just the second one. Timothy ruined more than her," Elliott grumbled as he turned back to his desk and Kurt walked through the brown room, filled with fabric, costumes and a desk full of needles and threads and other stuff Elliott needed.

"Timothy, huh? He's usually careful," Kurt mentioned, walked pass Elliott and squeezed his shoulder as he sat down on the desk, watching his friend fixing the beautiful blue dress. Costumes were always something he enjoyed doing for Halloween or special parties, especially with Elliott together. He just enjoyed fashion more than costumes so he ended up doing this.

"I know. He has a bad day and keeps on apologizing. Joanna on the other hand, you know her. The diva and bitch in person. She doesn't even think it's her fault when she steps on the hem of the dress, no. Of course it's my fault because the dress is too long. This bitch needs to calm the fuck down and accept reality."

Kurt snorted and fixed the collar of his dark purple shirt.

"Only this month and then she'll be gone, right?"

"Fucking finally," Elliott sighed and stood up, hanging the dress to the other ones. "How are you though. Don't you have an appointment with Rose?"

"I do. In three hours. So, I thought I'll come over and safe you from the bad Joanna."

"How nice from you," Elliott smirked and reached into his bag, resting on a chair and handed Kurt a sandwich, wrapped up in plastic wrap. "Anything from Sebastian or Hunter?"

"No. I don't even want to, to be honest. I have another problem to figure out."

"Huh?" Elliott hummed, sat back down on his chair and then asked before he took a bite of his sandwich. "You mean Blaine?"

"Yeah. I've been thinking and I've decided to get him out of there."

"Really? Like, buy him free?"

Kurt didn't like the term buy. It made all of this sound so wrong, but it was probably the only way to get him out of there. Duncan paid for him, too, and he wouldn't give his Doll away for nothing. No matter how dissatisfied he was with Blaine.

"Something like that. I don't even know why... I just can't look away for some reason."

His sandwich didn't seem as appealing as before so he put it down on next to him on the table.

"Well, if you want to do that, no one will stop you. He'll have it better with you as with this Duncan guy."

"Of course. I wouldn't yell at him or punish him for stupid mistakes. Only that I promised myself to never own a Doll keeps me from doing it. I mean, don't they need orders? Someone who tells them what to do?"

Elliott thought for a while and finished his sandwich while doing that.

"I don't know. No one of us ever owned a Doll. But you could ask Rose? She has like what? Five? She'll probably help you more than I can."

Kurt nodded. Yes, he wanted to ask her because she was on the same side as he was. Against the violence and killing of Dolls. Ever since she was a child, her parents had Dolls too and knew a lot more for sure. Even stuff no one ever talks about. Because her Dolls were never hurt, never punished nor did they look unhappy. Yes, their eyes were still empty but they were different. More human.

"What about Christmas? Last year we were at my place," Elliott changed the subject.

"I'm staying in New York this year. My dad and Carole are visiting her siblings this year. So, I'm fine when we celebrate it at my place."

"Good. We can call each other later the make sure who makes what."

"Deal," Kurt smiled and looked forward to it. Christmas with his friends and three weeks off of work.

"Do you still see this guy... what was his name? Jayden?"

"Occasionally. It's more like a booty call deal. But nothing serious and it never will be. He isn't supportive when it comes to Dolls."

"But he is a good under the sheets, huh?"

"Well, I have my needs and he too, so we are fine."

Jayden was really the last person on his mind. When he felt the need to have sex that meant nothing he called him. But this happened like, once in a month or when he had several weeks free. It was the better way for Kurt. He knew Jayden from college and knew he wouldn't tell anyone that they slept together. While some random guy, who knew who Kurt was, could use that chance. Kurt didn't want to take that risk and be labeled as someone who slept with anyone, just because he was not interested in a relationship.

"Kurt Hummel and his booty call service. You're something," Elliott snickered and Kurt wrinkled his nose but not hiding the little smirk. Yeah, it was a silly name but it was exactly that.

"I should go. You know how fucking terrible traffic is."

Kurt jumped off the table and took his jacket and scarf. Elliott nodded and already opened the door to the hallway as they both heard someone screaming. A high pitched scream from a woman. They both winced, shared a shocked look and left the room to follow the direction where the screaming came from. It was not only them, more people who worked for the theater gathered together behind the stage. It was dark, but not dark enough so Kurt didn't see where they were going or what happened.

There, on the dark wooden floor, was Fiona, the Doll he knew was working here. Her eyes were wide, her face pale and her throat bruised. She just lay there in an uncomfortable position. Not breathing, not living at all.

"What happened?!" yelled Cora, a woman with a strong body and blonde short hair. She could have been Kurt's grandmother. "What the...? Who was that!?" She yelled at them as she found Fiona but no one said anything. No one needed to. This, was not a crime.

* * *

><p>Kurt wanted to stay with Elliott and do something, help them. There was nothing he could do and he, himself, had an appointment to follow. Yet, he couldn't get the images of Fiona's dead body out of his head. It was not the first time he saw a dead Doll, but it was the first time he knew the Doll. Well, not much because they never knew who was watching them, but it still... shocked him. Fiona always did a good job, never got punished and always smiled – just like she was taught to. It was hard to believe anyone from the theater would have killed her. It was hard but not impossible and he hated this. Hated how people just could kill a Doll and get away with it.<p>

He had no idea when or how he arrived at Rose' house, but he did and climbed out of the car with shaking knees. It was not the first time, no, but it didn't make it less scary and shocking, and sad. So sad. What if something like this happened to Blaine when he was not around? What if Duncan snapped one day and killed Blaine? Or maybe not Duncan but someone else would do it for him? Kurt couldn't let that happen.

He needed to get Blaine out of there as soon as possible.

When he arrived at Rose' house and the old lady opened the door for him – really, she was just a sweetheart because she still did that and not her Dolls – she flashed him a smile, wearing a red dress and a lots of jewelry, like always. Only when her old eyes noticed that his own smile was not as bright as it always was, she gave him a questioning look.

"What's worrying you, dear?" she asked as they walked inside and Kurt greeted the people he met on his way to the living room.

The fireplace was already burning, the Christmas tree decorated and shining and made the cozy living room – in brown and read – look even more cozy. He let himself fall on one of the armchairs, sighed and then let it all out.

"I have a new client and he has this Doll, Blaine's his name."

"Let me guess, he treats him badly?"

Kurt nodded and smiled at her because she gave him this understanding look only an old lady could.

"I don't know what it is that makes me care about Blaine so much. I've learned to ignore how my clients treated their Dolls just to keep my job. This time it's just... so hard to ignore it and I have no idea why."

Rose smiled, reached out for Kurt's hand and squeezed it gently.

"Because you care, Kurt. Perhaps, you care more about him and that's why you can't ignore it."

The way she said it, with such a certainty – he wished to have one day - like it was the ultimate truth made him realize that, yes, he cared a lot about Blaine. May it be because he was tired of seeing all the violence, maybe because of his pretty face, maybe because of his everything. So he smiled back, felt a bit better than moments ago and even the images of Fiona's dead body left his mind for a while.

"Perhaps. But, I don't know how to get him out of there. I doubt my client will just sell him to me. After all, Blaine has a pretty face he's obsessed with."

Rose let go of his hand, leaned back against the backrest and thought for a while before she said, a triumphant smile on her lips.

"But he is also unhappy with Blaine, right? Maybe you should start with that. Convince him that he deserves a better, prettier Doll than Blaine."

"You think this will work?"

Rose laughed, a heartfelt laugh and nodded.

"I'm more than sure. You see, rich people ask for a lot and want a lot, but, they are also pretty predictable and easy to manipulate when you know what to say. If you tell them, especially those who like to show off what they have and how rich they are, that something they own is not good enough, they'll most likely will throw it away and buy something better instead."

Kurt didn't like the idea... talking bad about Blaine because there was nothing even remotely wrong or bad about him.

"It's not the truth, Kurt. But it's the weapon you need to get him free. I know you can do that, you're pretty convincing and you know that."

Kurt smirked about that because, yes, he was pretty convincing. Otherwise his clients would know what he truly thought about the Dolls.

"And if you need any help, just call me. Now, what about the dress? Christmas is just around the corner and I want to wear something pretty when I meet my family."

* * *

><p>The dark red dress, he created for Rose, was easy. She had clear ideas about what she wanted and after years he knew what she liked and what not. Although she loved to show off too, but in the good way, Kurt loved to make clothes for her and her Dolls. She paid a good price and always treated his garments like they were something special and never for granted.<p>

As soon as he left her house and drove back to his home he remembered what had happened before he arrived there. That someone killed Fiona for whatever reason and a sharp, cold fear took control over him. He needed to stop the car and just breath for several minutes. Alongside the fear, he felt the need to keep himself safe. Not just himself but also the people around him, especially if Blaine would become a part of his life.

He reached for his bottle of water, drank a bit from it and then took his phone and texted Sebastian and Hunter. After the text was send he started the engine and drove back home, feeling like someone was watching him when he thought about what he was going to ask his friends. He felt like he was doing something criminal, while it really wasn't. It was legal but he never thought it would be a necessity.

Around 9pm it was Sebastian who knocked against his door and gave Kurt a surprised but also curious look. Kurt just stared at him, still not sure if this was a good idea or not.

"Hey Hummel, what's the matter?" he asked as he walked inside and Kurt closed the door behind him, made sure everything else was locked too, closed – he truly felt like a criminal although it was stupid because he was not.

"You're acting weird, you know-"

"I need a gun." Kurt interrupted him and stared at his friend, wanting to show him that he meant it.

"You need... what?" Sebastian said but didn't look as surprised as Kurt imagined him to be. No, his friend looked more like he was wondering if Kurt knew what he was asking for. A gun, a weapon, something that could hurt even kill people.

"I need a gun. I don't feel safe anymore."

"Okay. What happened that you feel the need for a gun?"

Kurt sighed. His friends knew him, which was a good thing but sometimes he just wanted to be unreadable. At least to his clients he was. So he told her about Fiona while sitting in the living room.

"And I want to buy Blaine free."

"The Doll you met?"

"Yes."

"And then? Do you want to keep him?"

Kurt snapped his mouth shut. Keep? Blaine? He had to, right? He couldn't just buy him and let him go. People would kill him, rape him, make him into their personal slave. No, he had to keep him, forever. No, he didn't have to.

"I'll keep him here with me until I find a better place for him."

"And for that you need a gun?"

Kurt suddenly understood why he needed this gun. It was not just for him, not really. It was all alone for Blaine. To keep him safe.

"Yeah. I need one to keep him safe. After seeing a Fiona dead, a Doll I knew... I... I don't want this to happen again. If I have to keep Blaine I want to have a gun. Just in case, you know? I probably won't even use it."

He said it right from his heart. No lie, no excuse but brutal honesty. Enough was enough and he had enough from all the idiots treating the Dolls like shit. He wanted to keep at least one of them safe – just like George, Rose and his friends. He wanted to keep Blaine safe and he let Sebastian see all of this in his eyes. How determined he was, how sure he was and then, his friend sighed.

"Alright. I'll bring you one tomorrow morning. We have some at home. Just... make sure no one knows about it or sees it, got it?"

"Yeah, thank you, Seb," he smiled. "I promise I'll only use it when necessary."

"I know you will."

* * *

><p>Tuesday, the day he went to Duncan's place and would start making the third and last suit. He had a little bit more than a week to convince Duncan, to sell Blaine. He only hoped that it would be so easy. That all he needed to do was to make mister Williams believe, that Blaine was not good enough for him and that he needed a better Doll. Only the outcome scared him. What if he didn't want to sell Blaine but give him back? Or worse, kill him? No, Kurt wouldn't let that happen. He knocked against the door to the mansion and his heart made a jump when he thought about seeing Blaine in just a second or two. A little jump, nothing Kurt really paid attention to. But his heart dropped when someone else opened the door. A guy with blond hair, probably around 30 years old.<p>

"Sir Duncan awaits you," spoke the man and Kurt could tell, he was not a Doll.

"Where's Blaine?" Kurt asked and wanted to press his hand against his mouth because no one ever asked after a Doll. The other guy, however, didn't make the impression as if he minded.

"He is with Sir Duncan."

With a final nod he walked inside and waved the other man off, saying he knew the way. With fast steps he walked closer and closer to the door and when he opened it, the gasp that left his mouth couldn't be stopped. The second he opened the door, his eyes found Duncan and Blaine. He saw how Duncan raised his hand and hit Blaine right in his face, making him fall to the ground.

"Get out of my face! If you don't listen you'll get punished and I don't know if you just want to be punished, or, if you just don't want to understand."

"I'm sorry Sir. Forgive me, Sir."

Blaine made his way out of the room and Kurt needed all his sanity, all his strength to not yell at Duncan or run after Blaine. But nothing of this was as strong as the rage he felt and the need to punch Duncan instead. He wanted to, so bad, if it didn't mean that he would lose his chance to buy Blaine free. That's why he swallowed his anger, closed the door behind himself and turned back to Duncan.

"You're okay?" Kurt asked although he couldn't care less about this piece of shit.

"Oh, hello Kurt. Sorry you had to face the failure my Doll is. I'm okay, though."

Kurt bit his tongue, kept his breathing even and moved closer to start with his work and plan. He waited until he didn't hear Blaine's steps anymore. Waited until Duncan calmed down himself and walked over to the suit – hanging on the clothes rail together with the other two suits.

"Do you have a Doll, Kurt?" Duncan asked as he walked over to Kurt who reached out for the white suit.

"I don't."

Luckily, not having a Doll was not as weird as wanting to protect them and treat them like human beings. No one was obligated to have one, it was just some trend, something normal for rich people. Not for him however.

"I live alone in an apartment so I don't really need one."

"Probably better."

Okay, maybe this was his chance and so he said something he never thought would leave his mouth. Like ever. No surprise that after the words fell he felt the need to clean his mouth with soap.

"But I'm thinking about it. My clients always tell me how amazing it is to have one. Especially when I need to travel and have someone who can help me."

Duncan smiled, pleased.

"What about Blaine? Do you plan on selling him? I mean, all he does is making you unhappy, right?"

"He does a lot of mistakes, that's true. If it weren't for his pretty face I'd sold him a long time ago."

"So," Kurt began to speak as Duncan put the pants and jacket on and began to fix the sleeves and buttons. "You'd rather keep him for his pretty face, although you could get a _better_ Doll? One that does what you want?"

"What do you mean?"

Kurt wanted to smirk but he didn't. The fact that he always agreed with Duncan, kissed his ass although he didn't deserve it, paid off. If this, that Duncan liked him and thought he was incredible, brought him the chance to buy Blaine free, so be it.

"I mean," Kurt began slowly, carefully chose his words. "What will other people think if they ever meet Blaine? He doesn't listen, makes mistake after mistake and doesn't seem to change, right? I know he has a pretty face. But what is a Doll, with a pretty face but no quality, good for? You deserve better, Duncan."

Kurt took the silence from his client as a good sign while he kept on working, letting his needle fix the sleeve, then sewed on the black button. He only had a few days. He needed to succeed now and convince Duncan to sell Blaine.

"I like his pretty face. Maybe, if I find another pretty face, then I let him go."

Kurt felt his heart stop for a second.

* * *

><p>The following week he kept his little game up. Whenever Duncan began to talk about Blaine, Kurt used the chance to make it clear to him, that he deserved better. It was a white lie, really. Because saying that Blaine deserved better, he couldn't say that. Duncan would break their deal, know that Kurt cared about the Dolls and probably tell other people about his mindset. Kurt had been there already and didn't need a déjà-vu.<p>

It was just so hard to convince him when all Duncan talked about was Blaine's pretty face. He was obsessed with Blaine's pretty face and yet he hurt that pretty face for stupid reasons. If Duncan really thought Blaine was that pretty, he wouldn't hit him and leave red marks, cuts or whatever on that face. It was sick, it was wrong and Kurt felt his impatience growing.

When his last day came and Kurt, again, did not succeed he felt like crying. Sure, he could have asked Duncan if he could buy Blaine, but that was not how it went. No one asked to buy a Doll. Either the owner offered that or not. He had no idea what to do or say anymore. His last chance was the dinner Duncan invited him to, as a thank you for his amazing work and then they would go their separated ways. Maybe, although Kurt had his doubts, this was his last chance. If he did not succeed, who knew what he would do. Kidnap Blaine? Ask Hunter and Sebastian to do that – because they were the experts - ? If he weren't famous, if he didn't have a reputation to defend, then yes. Without hesitation he would kidnap Blaine and this told him a lot about how much he cared. But kidnapping a Doll was against the laws. Those fucked up laws that were only a benefit for the owner but not the Doll.

It was a Saturday evening when Kurt arrived at the restaurant – of course it was one of the most expensive ones. Luckily he always made sure to be dressed for such situations and walked inside. Dark red floor, walls dark brown and lights everywhere. It was nice, fancy, no doubt. The waiter came and Kurt told him that he was supposed to meet mister Williams. The young man nodded and guided Kurt through the room, where he soon found Duncan, alone. It was not unusual, not really but Kurt had hoped to see Blaine.

They greeted each other with a handshake, ordered their meals and talked about Christmas and family. Small talk, Kurt thought, the best way to just warm everything up and try it again. Otherwise he would have been too obvious and he didn't need that. Step after step and then he would try it again. Then, hopefully, the smug smile on Duncan's face would never cross his way again. Then, hopefully, Blaine would be free from this terrible man who didn't deserve Blaine at all. Kurt still had no idea what he was supposed to do with Blaine, as soon as he got him, but this was nothing to be worried about now. First he needed Blaine and then he could worry about that.

With their empty plates gone and a fill belly, Kurt reached out for his glass of water, took a sip and was ready to try it again. He didn't need to though.

"You were right, Kurt. About Blaine."

"I was?" he said and tried not to sound too hopeful.

"I deserve better, so, I'll throw him out."

"What?!" Kurt exclaimed and panicked. He didn't mean to say that out loud. He didn't mean to show how much he cared. So he rescued himself by saying. "But, mister Feron said to give the Dolls back if the owners were unhappy with them."

"Why should I? No one wants a failure. I've never met such a stubborn Doll, really. It's almost like they are humans, which of course they're not."

Kurt felt the need to yell, again, wanted to shake his head no, wanted to throw the table and everything on it to the ground.

"Why don't you just sell him?"

Duncan smiled, a cold smile and his eyes showed Kurt how less he cared about Blaine. The boy with the pretty face Duncan was so obsessed with.

"Who'd want that, seriously? People want the best of the best and not a half working Doll."

"I'd buy him."

That surprised Duncan. His eyebrows shoot up, almost reaching his hair and he put his glass of wine down.

"Really? Changed your mind?"

"I did. Yes. I know he is probably not perfect, but I think he can be a good experiment to see if I really need one and then get a real Doll."

Lies, lies, lies, and the taste in his mouth became more and more disgusting. God, he didn't mean it, none of that. He just wanted Blaine... safe. Close and safe.

"Well, I give him to you. You did an amazing job, perfect actually and beside the money I'll give you Blaine."

Tears, Kurt felt tears filling his eyes but he stopped them, held them back and kept a straight face. This was still not over, not as long as he sat across from his, soon, ex client.

"Where is he?"

"Oh, I sent him outside. He should be just around the corner, waiting. I actually planned to let him out in one of the poor parts of New York. You know, people could use some help there, right?"

Kurt did shake his head no and reached into his wallet, picking some dollars out – for good luck like Elliott used to say – and gave them Duncan with the excuse. "This is for the damage he'd done."

"So, you want him?"

"Yes."

Then everything went fast, just like Kurt wanted it. He lied about how much fun he had with Duncan, accepted the praises and thank yous with a fake proud smile and hurried out of the restaurant. He looked to his right but there was no Blaine. Then he looked to his left and there was no Blaine either. Where the fuck was he?

He turned left and walked down the street, looking searching for Blaine. All he saw were the dark, cold streets, free from the snow. God, he must be freezing, thought Kurt and then a yell caught his attention. He slowly stopped walking, looked to the left – into an alley - and saw bodies moving, voices yelling and one pleading for them to stop whatever they were doing. Blaine was pleading. Kurt began to run, fast and filled with anger. His mind was silent and only his instinct spoke. The instinct to protect Blaine from those people.

"Fucking Doll! Do what-" the one guy groaned but never finished his sentence because Kurt pushed him off of Blaine, helped him up and pulled his gun out of the inside of his coat. Blaine stood right beside him, fixing his clothes, picking his coat from the cold ground, while Kurt aimed the gun to the three guys. All of them taking steps backwards deeper into the alley.

"Fuck off!" Kurt warned them, loud and dangerous.

"Dude, he is a Doll. You-"

"He is _my_ Doll! Now, fuck off or I'll call the cops!"

They knew it, everyone knew it. No one had the right to touch or hurt a Doll who had an owner. That's why they ran away, leaving Kurt and Blaine alone. Only then did Kurt calm down, felt how bad his body was shaking and just began to function for several seconds. Gun back into the inside pocket of his coat, red scarf hanging down to hide what he hand inside, turning around to take a look at Blaine. Then, his mind began to work again and he noticed what had happened to Blaine. Or what was about to happen. His coat was wet, his shirt ripped open, pants done but belt undone. He knew exactly what those guys tried to do and it made him sick.

"Blaine, are you... okay?"

It was weird to ask since he... didn't feel anything, right? But he yelled, told them to stop.

"Am I... yours now?" was the first thing Blaine asked, his empty eyes looking into Kurt's in a... different way. They still were empty, still scary and even sad. But there was something Kurt had never seen before in a Doll's eye.

"Yeah," he breathed and took his scarf off, wrapping it around Blaine's neck and shoulder. "You're mine now."

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><p><strong>Thank you all so much for the reviews, messages, support and love. It makes so incredibly happy, really! You guys are amazing, never stop! As always tell me what you think, please, you help me so much through doing that! I hope I won't disappoint you!<strong>


	4. Monday

**Hey guys! Hope you survived Glee on Friday? However, this chapter is not exactly happy but I hope you'll still enjoy it :) Also, for those who read my other fic 'One Vow' (the sequel to 'Two Coins' (which I'll post the beta soon)) I take a break from that fic because I need to re-plan the plot. And my other fic 'fragile dream' is almost done (2 chapters left). Now, let's see how our boys work together ;)**

**Warnings: mention of abuse I guess**

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><p>Chapter 4. Monday<p>

_Am I... yours now?_

These words echoed in Kurt's mind through the whole drive back to his apartment, and, brought new questions. So many questions that Kurt felt like he knew nothing about the Dolls. Maybe he didn't. It was a huge difference to be around Dolls and actually having one and watch them, get to know them. He was sure of that.

Throughout the drive back home, Blaine didn't say a word. He just sat there on the seat next to Kurt's, in his rumpled clothes, scarf and jacket keeping him warm and eyes empty, staring at a spot somewhere on his lap. So he decided to stop thinking for now and just get home and then... see what will happen.

He stopped on his parking lot, engine off and reached for something on the backseat as he saw how Blaine climbed out of the car, walked around it and opened the door for Kurt. For a second or two he just stared at the young man, who's eyes looked down and never even tried to look at him again. Almost like he thought he wasn't allowed to. Without a word he took his bag, climbed out of the car but never stopped staring at Blaine. This made him feel uncomfortable and he wanted to tell Blaine he didn't need to do this.

He didn't need to act like Kurt's servant. Yet, the words didn't leave his mouth.

"Thank you," he said instead and pressed the button to lock the doors.

Kurt approached the building – a rather small one in a nice neighborhood. He shared the building together with four other people, each of them having their own apartment. One last breath inside and he unlocked the black door and walked through the beige colored corridor, up the dark stairs and then to the right side, where Kurt's apartment was. Yes, he lived in a beautiful building, but it was not the one a rich person would chose.

Inside he slipped out of his shoes, coat off and turned around, seeing how Blaine stood next to the closed door, not moving. God, this was already so difficult and Kurt was scared to do something wrong. Orders, he thought, they are used to orders.

It made him sick.

"You can, take off your shoes and coat and... do you guys drink and eat?"

"We do, sir."

"Okay... um. Oh!"

As he looked at Blaine and noticed his wet and dirty clothes he remembered, he didn't take anything from Duncan. Well, if Duncan had anything that belonged to Blaine. Did Dolls own anything at all?

"I... do you have some clothes?"

"No, sir. I don't own anything. Mister Williams always gave me what I should wear."

This was not surprising. Dolls had rights, but Kurt doubted they had the right to own anything or even live alone. The only right the had, was, to follow orders. Plus, Kurt hated that 'sir'. He was no sir, he didn't want to be Blaine's sir or owner. If he wanted to be something, or should have been something, then, a friend.

"I'll give you something, okay? And," it felt weird asking those simple things. They made him realize how little he actually knew about the Dolls, beside that they were here to serve rich people. "Er... do you sleep?"

"Yes, sir."

Kurt pressed his lips together and wanted to wait until tomorrow. Right now he was just too exhausted and needed sleep.

"I'll go get you something clean and warm and you can make yourself something to eat."

"Thank you, sir."

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><p>Sunday morning when Kurt woke up his first thought was, that he had dreamed all of this. How he met Duncan, saved Blaine and then drove home with him. He thought it had all been a dream that he owned a Doll from now on. It was no dream, and the laundry done and breakfast ready for him in the kitchen certainly wasn't either. It was nice, though, but wrong because of the reason why Blaine did it. It was wrong because this man did not smile, his eyes remained empty – without any life, any shine just dark gold – and greeted Kurt in the way they taught him.<p>

"Good morning, sir. Breakfast is ready and I've also done your laundry."

"Um... thank you, Blaine."

Blaine nodded and walked away from the table to spot where kitchen and living room met, staying there and looking down, back straight still. Oh fuck, thought Kurt. This was totally not what he wanted or was comfortable with and he had no idea what to do. Blaine was used to this behavior and he hated it.

"You... you can eat with me, if you want to?"

"If that's what you want, I will sir."

"And please, don't call me sir. Just Kurt is fine."

Something changed on Blaine's face. His eyebrows lifted up just a little bit, his mouth opened but closed just as fast and then he sunk down to his knees, head down, like a dog who knew he made a mistake or something bad.

"Forgive me. I had no idea that you don't like that."

Kurt felt like this was too much. Far too much for him to understand or handle. Why the hell was Blaine kneeling and apologizing? Why was he acting like he did something unforgivable? He just told him to not call him sir?

"Hey, it's okay," he said and squatted down, hands resting on Blaine's arms. Kurt expected to feel something different, something else. Like, that he was cold or something, but he was not. He felt like a human being, warm and soft under his fingers, hidden by the fabric of his sweater. Why was this all so... complicate and making him nervous? What the hell was he supposed to do?

"Come on, stand up." he smiled and Blaine followed his order. Okay, this was good, he could handle that. "Just call me Kurt, okay? I don't like... sir. Now, let's eat and then I'll have some work to do. You can... do whatever you want and eat whenever you want." That was what Blaine needed to hear, right? He needed to hear what he was allowed to do and what not, right?

"Can I... read a book, after breakfast?"

"Just do, what you usually do, okay?"

Blaine nodded slowly and then they ate breakfast together in complete silence. Which was good for Kurt because he felt like this was something Blaine was used to. Not that he liked it, not at all. Only that day it was a good way to deal with... this situation. After breakfast Kurt tried to work but he couldn't not really. He stood in his own little room with all his needles and thread, fabric and his beloved sewing machine, but kept the door open – where he had a perfect view into the living room. Really, only this little room as the only reason he thought about moving somewhere else. His bedroom was stuffed with closets and those were full with clothes and shoes. This room was nice but way to small when he had a lot of work to do.

Maybe, moving out was a good idea? Since he had Blaine now? God, he had Blaine in his life. He was a part of his life now and Kurt knew he would be, for at least some months. Did he plan on keeping Blaine? He had no idea, he didn't think that far only to the point where he got Blaine out of this terrible man. Blaine...

Kurt stopped what he was doing, stuck his needle back into little pillow around his wrist and watched him. It had been three hours since they both finished breakfast and Blaine was still reading. It was not just one book he had chosen, there were at least four books on the coffee table. Apparently this was something he enjoyed? Well, not enjoyed because Blaine couldn't feel something like that, right?

Damn, he really needed to learn more about the Dolls. If he weren't so scared he would have just asked Blaine. Only... having a Doll here, just him and a Doll made him realize something. They did look like humans, they felt like humans, but there was something about them that, Kurt feared, he could hurt Blaine. Destroy Blaine and his world.

Or maybe, it was just his mind playing tricks on him.

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><p>Monday and Kurt woke up to the delicious breakfast Blaine just made. Eggs, pancakes, coffee, fruits, literally everything a person needed to start the day. Again, he stood and waited for Kurt to come and only when he did then Blaine sat down as well.<p>

Yesterday, when he went to sleep he decided to first gather more information about the Dolls and let Blaine just... do what he used to do. Every Doll learned what was okay and what not. Basics, that's what people called it. Everything else, the special needs of their owner, they learned living with them. So Kurt let Blaine clean the kitchen, the bathroom, fold his clothes and read book after book. He let him just be and thanked him for whatever he did.

Monday was also the day he visited George. His rescue rope he thought. Oh, and clothes. He needed to buy some clothes for Blaine. But first George, because Kurt wanted to do this right and not... wrong. Together they drove to George's company, like every Monday.

"We're going to visit a friend of mine. He's really nice."

Blaine nodded and Kurt noticed that he never said anything. Nothing beyond questions about Kurt's needs or begging for forgiveness. It was odd, it was another thing that made him feel like he did something wrong. So he said.

"You can... talk Blaine. Whenever you want to. And questions, you can ask questions."

"I can?" he said, voice not even hopeful, just questioning. God, this was all so strange. The nonexistent emotions, the empty eyes like marbles, the face free from every emotion.

"Of course. But... better just talk to me, and my friends, okay?"

"Thank you."

Every 'thank you' was like someone stabbed his heart. He thanked for the things like being allowed to eat with Kurt, being allowed to ask and talk to Kurt. Thing that were normal and didn't need the permission from any person. Fuck, yes, how could he forget that? Dolls weren't allowed to speak. Well, the Dolls from George and Rose were but any other didn't have the permission. Blaine didn't either because Duncan was an asshole and Kurt wanted to slap himself for forgetting that.

But who could blame him? This was so much to handle and... get used to.

"Let's go." Kurt said, trying to smile and together they walked through the parking lot to the huge, blue building, Blaine always a little behind Kurt. Inside he greeted Lisa, the woman who sat behind the counter of the reception. She smiled, her red hair wild like always and gave a questioning look meant for Blaine.

"It's okay, he's with me."

That was all it took and he kept on walking to the elevator, third floor and then right to the door at the end of the corridor. He knocked against it and heard the cheerful voice of George calling him in. With a huge smile he opened the door and when he saw his friend, with gray hair but a face like he was still thirty something Kurt felt like the solution to his confusion and questions was right there. Next to George sat Quinn, his Doll, typing something down on the laptop but when her empty eyes noticed Kurt, she smiled.

She could do that. Blaine never did.

"Hello Kurt, finally free from your shitty client?"

"Fucking finally," he groaned and George laughed as he sat up, walked around his desk to hug Kurt and made a questioning noise when he noticed Blaine behind him. Then he gasped, while Kurt hugged Quinn hello, who just walked to him and smiled like they were old friends. Before George could say anything Kurt jumped right to Blaine's side and introduced him to his friends.

"George, Quinn, this is Blaine."

"Wait, is this the Doll Duncan owned?"

"Um... yeah. He is."

"Wait," George said, clearly surprised and tried to find the right words, while he moved his hands, his eyes jumped from Kurt to Blaine and back. "You mean... he is your Doll? Kurt Hummel has a Doll?"

"Basically?" he admitted and then George face showed, that he was unsure what to show. A smile or rather surprise. Then something else happened. While the silence filled the room Blaine looked up for the first time and his and Quinn's eyes met. It was a weird moment Kurt had never witnessed before. How they just stared and then Blaine walked up to her, both opening their arms and just hugging each other for a very long time. No word left their mouths, no noise, nothing. Then they pulled back, Quinn smiling, Blaine not.

"Quinn, can you take Blaine with you? Give him something to eat and drink, okay?"

"Sure," she smiled and it was so weird to watch them, thought Kurt. How she rested her arm around Blaine's shoulder and leaded him out of the room into one of the other rooms, which were used for meetings or lunch break. Of course Blaine didn't just go. He looked over his shoulder, waiting for Kurt to say something. No, waiting for Kurt's permission. Whenever he had to give his permission he felt sick.

"You can go." he forced himself to say and when they left the room, he breathed out.

"A Doll, really Kurt? You didn't tell me anything about that." George said and voice filled with surprise.

"It's not like I wanted a Doll. You know I don't." Kurt explained and sat down on the armchair across from George's. His mouth was already open to say more but Quinn walked inside, as usual, and gave them both a cup with coffee.

"Thank you, sweetie," George said.

"You're welcome," with that she left and Kurt just wished Blaine would be like her. More human and not acting like... a slave.

"What changed?"

"Blaine... basically? I've met so many Dolls in my life and I learned to just... not care. You know what they think about us who treat them like human beings."

"Tell me about it. I hate going out with Quinn and treat her like she is just a thing."

This was the reality they were living in. Inside this company and any other house, where the Dolls were treated with respect and not like objects, it was okay. Outside of those walls they had to act like anyone else only because society would ruin them. There was once this actor who treated his Doll like a human being and within weeks his fame was gone.

"When I met Blaine I tried to act like it wouldn't bother me. But, I guess, I'm just so tired of seeing all this cruelty that I couldn't ignore it this time. I wanted him out of there. Now he is with me."

"How did you manage that though? I know Duncan loved his Doll in, well, creepy way? He always talked about his pretty face like it was some price he won."

"I convinced him that, since he is rich and deserves the best, Blaine's not good enough for him?"

George snorted, then laughed and Kurt smiled too. Rich people could be so easy to manipulate.

"I bet Rose told you to do so."

"She did," Kurt laughed and sipped his coffee, feeling a bit better. Which didn't mean his worries were just gone. "I'm just... I don't know what to do. Yesterday, when he kept on calling me 'sir' and I told him not to he... fell down on his knees and apologized. Like... he thought I'd punish him or something. I felt like I did something wrong."

George looked unimpressed and that said really nothing. He had been working with Dolls for a very long time and had many in his company. This was probably nothing new to him.

"Do you want to keep him?"

"I hoped you'd have a free spot for him here." Kurt admitted.

"I don't, sorry."

"Then what am I supposed to do? I mean, I basically know nothing about Dolls but what we were taught. You know, the Doll school and the Doll Company and that they follow orders only?"

George laughed again, probably thinking Kurt was adorable because he knew so little. Honestly, he never wanted to know everything because he was sure he'd end up crying about their fate.

"Well, you know the basics but it's more complicated. I guess, you figured that out judging by the way you frown, since you walked into this room."

Kurt nodded, gave a defeated sigh and just looked at George waiting for an advice, a book 'Doll treating for Dummies', anything.

"There are two official kind of Dolls and one that is only known between you, me and any other who treats their Doll like a human being. The first kind are those who stay with the same person or family until they die. Then there are those who have several different owners because they are sold or because their owner dies, and has no one who takes care of the Doll. You know, they leave their Doll school, get sold to someone and know only this. Follow orders, do what you've learned, don't question nor ask without permission.

Of course they learn new things, get used to their life and think, whatever they do is normal. So, when a Doll gets a new owner they take all of the things they've learned with them and think this is normal, this is how they please their new owner. But we know they are all different and have different needs.

Blaine is the second type of Doll. He had is first owner, then Duncan, and now you."

"Ha, that's probably why he was always so unhappy with what Blaine did, because he didn't know better."

"Pretty much. Duncan's not... exactly smart, and mean. It's a good thing you got Blaine out of there. But now you have to... get to know him, you know? You said he knelt down when you told him he shouldn't do something, here, call you sir. It tells me that, when he hears no or things he shouldn't do, that this usually meant punishment."

Kurt hated that, he hated that so much that he, again, felt the urge to drive to Duncan and punch him in the face. At the same time, though, something didn't make much sense to him.

"But... they learn to follow orders, right? So, why would he do that?"

"Maybe they taught him to beg for forgiveness and if he convinced them, they wouldn't punish him? I don't know, it could be anything. It's easier with a Doll right out of school than with one who had different owners."

"Then, what should I do? If I say no he'll just kneel down and beg for forgiveness and then I can't say anything. It just breaks my heart."

"Get to know him. Watch him for, let's say, a week. Just watch him and what he does. He'll probably take care of your apartment, clean every corner, laundry, and so on. Praise him for his work and then, when you two got used to each other, you can ask him about his past. I know from experience that it's better to just let them do what they know and were allowed to. They need also their time to get comfortable."

Kurt could do that, he knew he could, because he really didn't want to have Blaine kneeling again and beg for forgiveness. This is like one of the worst things he had ever seen and made him feel like a bad person.

"Okay. I'm on my break anyway so plenty of time to get to know each other, right?"

"Yes. I mean. I can be wrong, Kurt. Blaine is already an individual because he had two different owners. If you feel like you can talk to him, do it. But I suggest for you to wait and see. Who knows what this boy had to do."

"Okay, right. Yeah. Just, one more question. Do they... feel anything? Or is it just a rumor that they don't?"

George was silent, looked down at his cup and opened his mouth but no word fell. That was answer enough for Kurt.

"I honestly don't know, Kurt. I think they don't even know. I know they feel pain, but that's all I know. I need to be careful because I think they'll watch me, you know? Not here, here we are safe but just, around the company. However, I know one thing. They act very logical, you know? Like, when you teach them that, stealing is bad, they won't do it. Or that a hug is something good, they'll hug you."

Logical, huh? Well, every person understood something different under logic. Not everyone agreed to Kurt's logic and that was okay. But he could do that, right? He wanted to. He wanted to keep a Doll safe, he wanted to keep Blaine safe because... yeah. He just wanted to.

"What about that hug Blaine and Quinn shared? Do they know each other?" Kurt asked because that was also strange to watch.

"Oh, I doubt they do. It's more a thing Dolls do between each other. Well, Dolls who never met each other. Quinn said it's like welcoming a family member because they are the same."

Family member? Weird how the Dolls could see each other as a family but humanity constantly failed to do that.

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><p>After visiting George, Kurt did feel like things made more sense. He could do that, let Blaine be, watch him, get to know him and than work with him. Easy, right? Before they drove back to his apartment he stopped at his favorite clothes shop and bought pajamas for Blaine, shirts, sweatshirts, pants, sweatpants, bow ties, vest, everything he thought would suit Blaine. To be honest, a lot would suit him because he was so pretty and could look so handsome. So, he ended up with buying far more clothes than Blaine would probably need.<p>

Six bags later, safe in the trunk of his car, he smiled because buying clothes was always fun – and also a good activity to get some inspiration. For colors, for combinations, for everything. This time he refused though. It was his break, no time for work right now and he still had Blaine who needed his attention more than anyone.

Back home he recalled what George had told him and wanted to exactly do that. Give Blaine the time and space he needed and rather praise him for whatever he did.

"Okay, these clothes are for you, Blaine."

"For me?" he asked and looked down to the bags on the couch.

"Yes, they belong to you, okay?"

"Thank you, Kurt." Blaine said without a smile. It was the logical thing to say, of course.

"I'll get some work done and you'll do what you... always do, okay?" He knew it was not true, rather an excuse but he wanted to do what George said. Watch and get to know Blaine. A week, that was not that long and probably would tell him more.

"Yes, Kurt."

He left Blaine alone and walked from his work room, pretended to do something and then went to the kitchen to see what Blaine was doing and back. It was really weird and so wrong to just... watch and let him do what he learned to do. Cleaning Kurt's shoes in the hallway, sorting the stuff in the refrigerator, clean every used cup, wipe the dusk off of everything. Blaine was simply cleaning everything and asked Kurt when he had no idea where to put what, or, if he should clean something or not.

Simple work, someone might say and Kurt wondered if this was all Blaine had to do, why was Duncan always freaking out and punishing him? Blaine did a good job, was always polite and always made sure to make it right. God, he wanted to tell him to stop but he didn't. It was to soon for this and he didn't want another scene of Blaine kneeling and pleading for forgiveness.

Around the evening, after Dinner, Blaine went to guestroom, where his new clothes were and came back, only in his boxers and holding his new, dark blue pajamas in one hand.

"I'm taking a shower, if that's okay."

Kurt didn't answer right away. His mouth, his whole body was frozen when he saw Blaine's naked chest. Not because he was simply beautiful and breathtaking. It was something else that made him sick all over again and the need to cry became just as strong. His beautiful tan skin was covered in bruises, some yellow, some dark purple. Fuck he even had some cuts from who knew what. Kurt stared and stared, images of someone beating Blaine popping up in his mind, of someone wanting to hurt him, of the people who tried to rape him. But, they looked older than that.

Then, he understood. Duncan, this piece of shit.

"Of course. You'll find everything?"

"Yeah. Thank you."

Blaine left and when the door to the bathroom closed, Kurt started to cry.


	5. Tuesday and Wednesday

**Idk if I need to put some warnings here. Like I said, this is supposed to be a dark fic :) and sorry it took me so long to finish this chapter.**

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><p>Chapter 5. Tuesday and Wednesday<p>

When Kurt went to sleep his bed felt cold and too small for him – although it was big enough for two people. The sheets didn't smell nice, his pillow didn't feel soft. Everything just felt wrong and he knew it was just his mind making him feel that way. Because everything was the same. His bed nor his apartment had changed.

It was the image, Blaine's body, covered in bruises and cuts, that made everything feel so cold and wrong around him. For some reason it felt like the whole world was just cruel. Not to him, but to the Dolls. He hoped that was all, that he wouldn't find more things that Duncan did to Blaine. More horrible things. Because he wasn't sure if he could handle that.

After a restless sleep Kurt woke up around nine anyway and breakfast was also ready, just like yesterday around nine. He told Blaine it was his time he usually got up and that he only slept longer on weekends.

A forced smile on his lips followed by a thank you they ate breakfast in silence. Everything just tasted like paper in his mouth, as the images of Blaine's hurt body came back over and over again. When he looked at him, the empty eyes and the blank face, he wouldn't even guess what was hidden under Blaine's clothes. The plaid button down, bow tie and jeans hid everything and made Blaine look rather healthy, like he wasn't hurt at all.

Kurt knew he felt pain, but he never saw Blaine reacting on it. Not when Duncan hit him, not when he stood in the cold snow, only in his socks. Maybe he was taught to not show anything. But did he really felt nothing at all? Feelings, emotions, they didn't come from the heart but from the brain, right? Blaine had a brain, but no heart and yet he didn't feel anything? He wanted to know, to understand it was just not the right time for this.

After breakfast he went did some grocery shopping, leaving Blaine alone in his apartment where he, like always, cleaned whatever unclean spot he found. Or maybe he ended up reading books and Kurt was curious to find out what books Blaine read. Books told a lot about a person and since he promised himself to not push Blaine, nor make him uncomfortable but just let him be, this was the only thing he could do to answer some of his questions. That's what he hoped.

On his drive back home he drove faster than usual. Not that he thought Blaine would steal anything or do something stupid, but better safe than sorry, right? He parked his car, jumped out of it with the two bags in hand and took two stairs at the same time. At his floor he walked slower, waiting for his breath to go slower and only then unlocked the door to walk into his spotless apartment.

"I'm back!" he called inside, locked the door behind him and found Blaine sitting in the living room, reading.

"Welcome back, Kurt," Blaine greeted him in the same voice. Everything he said was with the same voice. Calm, always the same tone, never going higher or lower. Almost like a machine, cold, just functioning.

"Hey," he smiled still, not wanting to show Blaine how he felt or that he was worried. Blaine closed his book, stood up and took one of the two bags from Kurt. Together they unpacked the bags, put everything at its place – Blaine already knew where to put everything. This was a nice view and nice feeling, Kurt thought. He never had a domestic life with someone who was not part of his family. Of course he dreamed about this with his future boyfriend, but after years of living alone he enjoyed this more than he thought. His own space, his own food, doing whatever he wanted to do. His alone time became even more important to him when his life became busy, so busy that he was glad for every minute off. Soon, the idea of living with someone together made him uncomfortable. He was sure to be annoyed after two days of living together with Blaine. It didn't happen, not yet and he wondered if it would ever happen.

Blaine helped him, basically. He did all the things Kurt never found enough time to, like laundry, cleaning the dust off the furniture, cooking instead of ordering something. Not that he liked that, he didn't need nor want a servant. But he liked that, doing something together.

"You said... I'm allowed to ask questions, right?" Blaine asked as he closed the refrigerator.

"Yeah. You can ask me anything," Kurt answered and was more than glad that it was Blaine who broke the silence. Maybe he was ready to talk and get to know each other. Fine, good, if Blaine was ready for doing that then Kurt went with his pace. Probably even the smartest way to start this life with a Doll.

"Do you have a piano? Or any instrument?"

Okay, Kurt didn't expect this question, but... okay.

"No. Do you need one?"

"I always play on Tuesday."

"Oh, um... you can do something else instead. I mean, you could read something, you like reading, right?"

"Really?"

"Of course," Kurt answered and closed the cupboard while Blaine threw paper bags into the trash. "You see that I live in a pretty small place. So... there isn't much to do, I guess?"

"No. But I don't want to make you angry. That's why I do what I was taught."

Kurt was sure, a 100% sure. Whenever Blaine did something that made Duncan angry, he got punished for it. All the bruises and scratches were proof enough. Physical punishment was a no for Kurt. He didn't support any sort of that and knowing Blaine went through that times and times again made him angry.

"Look, if you can't do what you usually do, just... do something else, alright? Something you like. You like reading books, right?"

"I guess, I do."

"Good. Then, do just that or something else you like. I won't be angry."

* * *

><p>Wednesday was the day he went into the city to do some Christmas shopping. Gifts for his family and for his friends. Blaine, of course, with him. They sat together in the car and Kurt sang along to whatever song was playing on the radio and wondered if Blaine sang too, or just played some instruments. Piano, that Kurt knew, and Blaine asked for other instruments – that's why Kurt came to the conclusion he could play more than one. Maybe he could buy one? He had the money – really, money was the last thing on his mind. No, first he needed a bigger place before he could buy a piano.<p>

Buy a piano? Was he insane? Who said Blaine was going to stay with him? What if George got a spot free in his company and Blaine could go there then? It could be tomorrow, next week or month. Why did he consider buying a piano then? No need to lie, he thought, the answer was simple. He didn't plan to give Blaine away. This was not a new thought, only one that shocked him whenever it came up in his mind.

They parked and went into a shopping center Kurt always liked to visit. Here was literally everything. He unbuttoned his coat, took off his scar and Blaine mimicked him while they walked through the parking lot into the building.

"Just stay close to me, okay?"

"Okay."

Kurt said this for several reasons. The most important was to keep Blaine safe and make sure people knew that he belonged to someone. Some people liked to yell at Dolls when they stood in their way, shove them around or step on their feet. Not all, but those who were convinced to be better than them. It didn't happen many times, compared to the rich people Kurt had met the 'normal people' were nice. Even if they were nicer, Kurt didn't want anyone to hurt Blaine.

Inside he felt suddenly insecure. Would it be weird if he talked to Blaine in a normal way? What if it gave something away about his true thoughts? No, this was paranoid. As long as he didn't hug him or acted like a friend everything would be fine. He didn't need to yell or punish Blaine, no one expected him to do so – even if it was a common thing. A sick common thing.

Ignoring his worries he walked into the first shop, with tons of different perfumes, bath salts, and other stuff. He remembered that Carole liked a specific perfume but didn't buy it the last time she was here, so he got her that and additional to that he wanted to buy her a scarf. She loved scarves, just as much as he did.

The next shop was a book store with all kinds of books and magazines. He got two books for Hunter – because he loved to read just like Kurt did the only thing they had really in common. All the while Blaine never left his side, but also used to opportunity to take a closer look at some books. He read the summary, flipped through some pages and put them back in. Kurt watched him doing that and three books later he simply asked.

"Do you want one? Or more?"

"I... can?" Blaine asked and his empty eyes found Kurt's.

"Sure. Just pick those out you want."

"Thank you."

Then Kurt just simply stared at Blaine who picked out six books and carried them in his arms. There was still no smile, nothing that showed Kurt if Blaine was happy or not. Yet, he noticed something else. As soon when Kurt said he was allowed to pick something for himself his movements were more human. Not like a robot, not like he felt being watched and did his best to move in the most silent and perfect way. He was just acting like a normal person, picking out books because he liked to read them.

That was also a good moment to take a close look at the books and he noticed two from Cecelia Ahern. Romantic books, huh? So... Blaine liked romantic books? No, Kurt also noticed 'The Hobbit'. Romantic and fantasy books? Not that it gave him any answers to his questions. Actually, he had more questions. Like, why would Blaine read romantic books when he didn't feel anything? It was not like he could... love, right?

He shook his head and told himself that now was not the right time for that. He needed to buy a gift for his dad and his friends. Also one for Blaine. After the bookstore he bought a plaid shirt for his father and had a suit in his apartment for him – of course created by himself. For Elliott Kurt got a new set of needles and threats and a CD. On his way back he stopped again at the shop with perfume and bath salts and bought Mercedes one – because he also had a dress and a new blouse for her in his apartment.

The only person left was Sebastian, any other friend of him would get a Christmas card and some chocolate – just like his clients and ex clients from this year. They stuffed everything into the trunk of his car and climbed back inside. Usually he got him something simple. A movie, or clothes, or chocolate – because he loved chocolate. Last year, though, Sebastian bought him a sex toy with the explanation: "I know you barely get some, so I thought you'd need that."

It was not even embarrassing because this was something Sebastian Smythe would totally do. So it was pay back time and Kurt wanted to buy him the most embarrassing sex toy ever – and also a basket full with chocolate just to be sure. But he would have been stupid to actually go to a Sex shop and buy a toy there. No, he was not just someone. People knew him and he didn't really need any kind of gossip. Moreover, he didn't need to appear at such a place with his new Doll.

There was a different place he needed and had to appear with his Doll. The Doll Company. He needed to tell them where Blaine was and that he belonged to him, legally. As he drove through the city he already saw the skyscraper, the huge white letters 'Doll Company' for everyone to see at the tip of the building. Alone seeing the name made him feel sick again and when he parked the need to run away or do something stupid was almost taking control over him.

This was necessary, this was a thing he needed to do. Otherwise they could take Blaine away from him and sue him for not doing that. They left the car and walked into the building through the door. Everything was just white and huge and so clean that Kurt didn't feel comfortable. It was so cold here, colder than in Duncan's home. He walked straight to the reception and told her his name and that he had a Doll. She asked him questions about Blaine's last owner, his new address and gave him a folder with Blaine's name on it.

"What's that?" he asked a little confused.

"This folder contains information about your Doll. When he was born, his grades and what he learned to do during school. It also contains information about what he can't do, so, if you're unhappy you can bring him back and we'll give you a new one."

How sick was that? If someone would give his personal information away Kurt knew he wouldn't sit still. This was just wrong and disgusting and made it clear for him all over again, Dolls were just objects for them. Little experiments with a folder about what they were good at and what not, so everyone could pick their right Doll. It made him sick that anyone could just look inside this folder and know everything. Okay, maybe not everything, but still.

He mumbled a thanks and left the building together with Blaine.

* * *

><p>The moment he walked inside his apartment Kurt literally groaned and needed a drink. A drink and something nice to eat and then bed. Yes, he needed some sleep and some nice dreams. Anything that was nice, Kurt needed it.<p>

"Let's bring the bags to my bedroom."

"Okay."

Together they walked into his room and Kurt told him to put the bags next to his closet. Where also the package with the sex toys was. Three to be more specific. Some ridiculous handcuffs, a blow hob bib, and the same remote control panties Sebastian got him last year. He closed the box, just in case his friends would come over and see it and make fun of him.

"It's for Sebastian," he said and felt the heat rising to his cheeks. God, why was this so embarrassing? They left the room together and Kurt started to make dinner, while Blaine brought his books to his room. After dinner Blaine said that he needed to get himself ready. For what Kurt didn't ask, but it was new. Blaine never said he was getting ready to sleep, he usually went to bed after Kurt. He never said something like that and Kurt figured that he maybe didn't notice it before. While Blaine was in the bathroom, Kurt finally got the bottle of rum he kept in the cupboard – with other alcoholic stuff – added some ice and let himself fall on the couch.

This day didn't feel like a day, more like a way too long week with too many, exhausting happenings. Emotionally exhausting happenings. How people ignored Blaine while they were shopping, never said sorry when they stepped on his feet or ran into him. Then the stupid Doll Company and this stupid folder about Blaine. Right, the personal information about Blaine.

He eyed the folder on his coffee table and a fight with his conscience began. There was not everything about Blaine, he knew that, but there was still enough information about him. Personal stuff he wasn't sure he should read. It felt wrong, like, stalking someone who wanted to stay anonymous. The last thing he wanted to become was a creepy person, stalking Facebook sites from people he didn't know – although he did that about his clients.

The difference was, that Blaine was not his client and not some random person. He wanted them to be friends, get to know each other through words and gestures. Just like he got to know his other friends. Not through a folder, not through a profile, but through meetings, conversations, acting like humans and doing the human thing.

Then another thought, reason, ran through his mind. What if Blaine was allergic to something and needed medication? What if he needed something else? Kurt hated those reasons because they made it valid to look inside. Fuck, he groaned inwardly and reached out for the folder.

There were exactly for pages about Blaine. Another swift from his drink and then he leaned back and began to read. Blaine, born April 2nd, his age. Information about his eye color, height, hair color. Sexual orientation: gay.

"What..." Kurt muttered, eyes going wide.

Blaine was gay? How did they know he was gay? If he didn't feel anything then how could he even know that he was gay? Kurt just stared and let his thoughts run through his mind. Dolls felt physical pain, they didn't eat or drink everything because there were things they simply didn't like. So they felt something, right? Or what if it had something to do with instincts? Just like Kurt knew he was gay other people knew they were straight. Maybe that was something Blaine simply knew?

He shook his head, flipped to the next page where all Blaine's grades were. Almost every subject Blaine had he got an A, English, math, he even learned Spanish and German. Then, on the third page, were other courses Kurt only had heard about. Doll classes. Conversation, serving, physical appearance. Even there Blaine had only A marks. Kurt stared at those classes for a long time, taking his glass and another sip get rid off the bitterness in his mouth. What were those classes even? They all sounded so creepy in his head that he wondered if it were even 'classes' and not something else that made the Dolls, who they are. Functioning beings without a heart and not questioning what they did.

All of this was just creepy and he had a very bad feeling about this. Kurt almost felt like living in a horror movie, where a bunch of people learned to become slaves. The perfect, submitting slave. Everything he knew, thought that it was all there was to know was nothing. He had known absolutely nothing. The last page was just some text about how this document was legit and signed by mister Feron to proof it. The folder closed Kurt took his glass, emptied it with one big gulp and leaned his head back, feeling the slight dizziness.

He wished to find a way to stop this madness. He wished that people would stop treating the Dolls like objects. But it was him alone against the world and this was a role he didn't have the energy to play. All he could do was focus on Blaine and make it better for him.

Blaine. He opened his eyes and turned his head to look over his shoulder, to the door where his bathroom was. The water was no longer running and no other noises coming from the room. Was Blaine already sleeping? At 11pm? No, he never went to sleep before Kurt. He left the living room, walked into the kitchen to put his glass into the sink and walked over to the door to the bathroom. Indeed, no noise, nothing. Perhaps Blaine did sleep already? With a frown he walked to his bedroom, decided to put his pajamas on and then check on Blaine.

The lamp on the nightstand was on, lighting up the room. When did he turn that on? But that was not important. It was stupid to even pay focus on that. He gasped, stopped and just stared at his bed. There was a bottle of lube open, his bottle, clothes neatly left on the floor. Not his clothes, Blaine's clothes. The same Blaine was on his bed, naked, gasping and moaning, standing on his hands and knees, completely naked. Kurt didn't want to look, didn't want to stare but how could he not? The very naked Blaine was fingering himself open with three fingers and only stopped when he noticed Kurt. Head hanging between his shoulders, Kurt heard him swallow, gasping for air before he spoke.

"I'm ready, Kurt."

His voice sounded so... not like it should have sounded. There was no pleasure, no need or want. Blaine tried to but it was so fake. He didn't enjoy this, he didn't want this and Kurt needed far too long to get out of his frozen state. This... he had no words for this, but he understood. More than he wanted to understand.

"I'm a good boy, right?" Blaine asked and then he did look at Kurt, eyes empty and fake, just like his voice. This was wrong, so wrong and he suddenly felt scared. There was no other way as to say no and stop this. He couldn't just... no. That was not even an option.

"Blaine... no. What are you doing?"

"This is what I was taught. He said, if I'm a good boy, I won't have to leave my owner."

Owner. Kurt was his owner. Blaine did this because he thought it was the right thing to do. Following what he had learned to please Kurt, like he had pleased Duncan, and in return he could stay. That was why Duncan didn't want to sell him. Despite the fact how wrong this was, that Blaine shouldn't be on his bed, naked, with a stretched asshole and waiting for Kurt to take him, he did look beautiful, breathtaking.

Blaine was the most gorgeous being Kurt had ever laid eyes on. But this was not right, this was wrong in far too many ways.

"Blaine, no," he said and felt himself blushing the closer he got to him. There was a hard cock between his legs and he refused to stare at it, refused to focus on anything but Blaine's face. "This is not okay." Kurt spoke as carefully and gentle as he could. However, it didn't have the effect he hoped for. Blaine took it like every no and not okay and stop he took. That he did something wrong. Right before Kurt even reached him, could touch him and take him off the bed, Blaine climbed off, fast and fell right on his knees.

"I'm sorry. Please forgive me. Please don't send me away."

Kurt was sure he heard his heart break into a million pieces. The way Blaine knelt, head down and begging to be forgiven, to stay and thinking he did something wrong, that was too much for Kurt. How was he supposed to just watch him, let him do what he was used to and, when he did something that was not necessary – or completely sick like this here – watch Blaine fall to his knees... he couldn't take this any longer. George was wrong. He needed to talk to Blaine now. Not today but tomorrow or whenever Blaine calmed down.

Because, right now, he was shivering, he was even crying, begging over and over again and it was too much. Far too much. Kurt reached out for his blanket, knelt down in front of Blaine and wrapped the soft fabric around his back, covering his naked body. He knew how humiliating this could be, kneeling naked in front of someone a person barely knew. At least for Kurt it would have been.

"I won't send you away, Blaine," he said when the sobs Blaine made became louder and louder. God, how could he cry if he didn't feel anything? It was not like he got physically hurt?

"I'm sorry. Please forgive me."

Maybe it was the desperation inside him, creeping through his body and making him feel lost, helpless all over again. Maybe it was his empathy for this boy. Or maybe it was something completely off his radar. Whatever it was that made him wrap his arms around Blaine's body and pull him close, he was glad it happened. He just held him, made sure the blanket still covered his naked body and breathed.

"It's okay, sweetie. You did nothing wrong."

His arms held Blaine tight, chest barely touching but his head resting on his shoulder. Not pushing against it, not seeking for comfort. That was okay, Kurt didn't expect Blaine to react. All he wanted was to calm him down, to make it clear that he was not going to throw him out or punish him. Kurt breathed slow, calming until Blaine breathed with him together. Until the naked body stopped shaking, until no more sobs left Blaine's mouth.

* * *

><p><strong>Hope you enjoyed this chapter as far as possible and I'm curious about what you guys think so far. Thanks for reading and taking the time to leave some words, it means so much to me and helps me a lot! Really! I try to post the new chapter tomorrow but I can't promise that!<strong>


	6. Monster

**It's almost 2am here and I literally forced myself to finish this chapter. I hope I didn't fail all the way.**

* * *

><p>Chapter 6. Monster<p>

When Blaine stopped crying and just leaned against Kurt, without hugging him back - which was a bit odd for Kurt – he gently pulled back and looked at Blaine. His cheeks were damp, eyes red from crying, but the blank face, the empty eyes remained. Usually, whenever someone cried the whole expression changed. Eyes became small, eyebrows moved down at the end, a chin trembled, hurt written all over ones face. Blaine's face didn't show anything of this.

His expression remained the same as always, only his voice changed because he couldn't stop sobbing. The normal process when someone cried and it would have been weird if Blaine could control this. No one could control this. Kurt helped him up, told Blaine to take a shower and reminded him, again and again, that he did nothing wrong. Eventually Blaine believed him and followed Kurt's order.

With Blaine gone he blocked every thought in his mind and began to function himself. He cleaned his bed, closed the lube and put it back into the drawer of his nightstand. Sheets were changed, Blaine's clothes picked up from the floor and brought to his room. Kurt just wanted to make sure Blaine was okay and then go to sleep himself. So he waited in the guestroom, Blaine's room, and smiled at him when he came back, dressed in his pajamas.

"Feeling better?" Kurt asked and it still felt weird to ask about Blaine's emotional state.

"I guess," Blaine answered, as usual.

"You did nothing wrong, Blaine. I mean it," Kurt said while he stood up and walked over to Blaine, who's eyes still looked down at his feet.

"Hey, look at me. You're allowed to look at me."

After the words left his mouth Blaine did look at him and Kurt understood something else. Not just what Blaine's life must have looked like, when he belonged to Duncan, but that he really did follow orders and accepted them. Kurt was sure, if he had told Blaine to go take another shower, he would have done that.

"We'll talk tomorrow, okay? We'll talk about everything. But, for now, please believe me when I say you did nothing wrong."

"I believe you."

Kurt smiled, squeezed Blaine's shoulder and watched him climbing on his bed and under the covers.

"Goodnight, Kurt."

"Goodnight, Blaine."

Kurt left Blaine's room, waited for some seconds and then walked back into the living room. Air, he needed air, he couldn't breath and his heart hurt so much, he wanted to rip it out of his chest. In his living room he walked to the window, opened it and literally gulped after air. The fresh, cold air helped him a lot. It felt like with every breath he took the coldness soothed all the burning pain down and healed him from the inside.

Twenty minutes ago he was so tired and ready to sleep, but now he couldn't get all these images out of his head. Not exactly Blaine naked on his bed. More like what other people did to him. It did explain where all these bruises and scratches came from, because some – even for Kurt – seemed at the wrong places. He never really wanted to believe in that fact, that, people did rape Dolls. That some used them not just as servants, but also as sex slaves. It was not shocking, it was not really knew. It was just a thought he never let touch the surface of his consciousness. The brutal reality that raping a Doll was okay, treating them like shit and do anything with them was okay.

How could people accept that for over a 100 years? How? Kurt closed his eyes, inhaled and exhaled and then closed the window because it was getting cold. He couldn't fix this, he couldn't change the world within a day. But the change was starting still and he wanted to be a part of it. Blaine was now a part of his life, an important one and was now his priority.

Kurt Hummel wanted to give Blaine the life he deserved.

* * *

><p>He went to his bed and tried to sleep but failed miserably. Every 30 minutes he woke up because of a nightmare, then fell back to sleep and woke up again. Only around six in the morning he fell asleep for four hours straight just because he was too exhausted from the nightmares. Luckily he didn't remember any of them when he left his bedroom.<p>

Blaine was already up, standing between the kitchen and the living room and waiting for Kurt. Breakfast was also ready and probably cold by now. Every morning Blaine made this and Kurt would eat it, no matter if it was cold or not. With a tried smile he walked over to Blaine, put his hand on Blaine's shoulder and he looked up. If Kurt had known that he needed to tell Blaine, that it was okay to look at him, he would have done that right from the beginning.

"Let's eat and I need a shower after that. Then we'll talk? What do you think?"

"Yes."

He ate slowly, taking every second he got to think and even showered longer than necessary. For some reason he felt dirty after last night. Kurt should have known that something was different, that Blaine would do something different. The moment he had said that he was getting himself ready, that was the moment Kurt should have listened to all the alarming voices in his head. He didn't and found a naked Blaine, fingering himself open for Kurt. For Kurt to take him and fuck him.

This conflict inside him was horrible. One part of him was still in awe about how beautiful Blaine looked. Only now did he really remember what he looked like. Tan skin, fine muscles, tiny waist and his voice. Even if it was fake and not the moans Kurt knew, it still had a beautiful sound.

The other part of him destroyed these thoughts and images because it had been wrong. Blaine probably had no idea what he was doing and what this meant. All he only did what they taught him.

Kurt was not a saint, not at all. He too had one night stands, he, too, slept with someone who meant nothing to him. But he always knew what he was doing, unlike Blaine. Or maybe he did know and only followed the order because it meant no punishment. After all, he did that because he thought it was the right thing to do so he could stay.

That was enough, he thought and shut the water down. It was time to get his answers. Dry and fully, hair of only halfheartedly made, he left the bathroom and found Blaine on the couch, reading on of his books. Kurt waited, looked around and noticed the snow that was falling again and covering everything in white. Maybe a little walk later would help him to calm down. Maybe they both needed a walk and just clear their heads after their talk. This neighborhood was safe so he didn't need to worry about idiots attacking Blaine.

He walked over to Blaine, smiled when he looked up at Kurt and closed his book to give Kurt his full attention. Unlike Blaine, who sat there, hands clapped together, back straight like he was at some appointment, Kurt sat there more relaxed, one leg bent and under his left leg.

"Hey, relax," he giggled and watched Blaine blink, then look down and lean back, clearly relaxing.

Suddenly he felt insecure again. He was scared to say something wrong, scared to screw this up because this was not like talking to a human. This man never learned how to act like a human being. For Kurt it was almost like Blaine had been dehumanized and it was not so hard to tell why. Every human being had own thoughts, own decisions and didn't do what they were uncomfortable with. Blaine only followed orders or what he knew. He never did something for him or because he wanted it, even when Kurt said he could read books Blaine seemed more than confused but accepted it.

"Okay, listen... I'm not really familiar with all this Doll stuff. I've never had one, that's why I need your help to... do it right. I need you to be honest with me, okay?"

"I will."

"Good, um... right. Then let's just start with you. Tell me about you."

Kurt couldn't shake off the nervousness inside him. This was just weird and when Blaine began to speak it was even more weird, because he didn't expect this.

"My name is Blaine, Doll number two-one-six. I'm twenty six years old and my sexual orientation is gay. I graduated with the best degree in regular education and Doll education. I speak four languages, English, Spanish, French and German. I'm a good housedoll and play three instruments. Piano, guitar and violin. My first owner was mister Charles Goldberg. I belonged to him for five years and six months. Mister Duncan Williams was my second owner. I belonged to him for five months and twelve days. Now I belong to mister Kurt Hummel."

He was gaping at Blaine because that was so not what he wanted to hear. It was just horrible, wrong and nothing he ever wanted to hear again. Some sick introduction speech to show that Blaine was no human at all. He didn't say that, instead he thought he started the same way. Maybe this was the right way to start this conversation. Not for him but for Blaine.

"Okay... er... I'm Kurt Hummel, twenty six years old and fashion designer. I'm also gay and... um... my father is Burt Hummel. I speak English and a bit French. I'm also single."

He had no idea why he added that information but it felt like he had to.

"Do you have... any questions?"

"Yes," Blaine answered and his eyes never left Kurt's face. "If you're gay, why didn't you fuck me last night? I thought it was wrong because you don't like boys."

"Oh... um... Blaine. I... I'm not that kind of person, you know?"

"But I'm yours and I have orders and rules to follow. I don't want you to send me away."

Orders, right. Maybe Kurt should know what those orders exactly are.

"Okay, then tell me about your orders and rules. You learn them at your school?"

"Not really. We have only three rules they teach us at school. Obey, listen, learn and of course everything that is necessary to become the perfect servant. Then, when we finally have an owner, we do what the owner wants. Mister Goldberg taught me to always be polite, to talk when I'm allowed to talk. I get punished if I don't obey, but I'm allowed to defend myself when someone tries to rape me, punish me for no reason."

Finally it made sense why Blaine fought against the guys who tried to rape him. Kurt was glad to see that Blaine did defend himself, but yet surprised that he did it.

"Sir Duncan knew the rules and was fine with these. He also wanted other things from me and I obeyed. But then I... I..."

"Go on, you can be honest with me." Kurt reminded him when Blaine seemed to have troubles saying what he wanted to say.

"I... met you and you are different. You... don't treat us like all the other people I met. So, I figured that if sir Duncan was unhappy with me, he might send me away."

"Wait... are you saying you didn't obey on purpose?"

Blaine nodded. "I thought that maybe you'd want me."

What Blaine said made no sense to Kurt. Dolls were supposed to listen and obey, all the time. Yet, he didn't because Kurt was different? God, was his behavior so obvious? Or maybe it was just for Blaine because he really wasn't used to people like Kurt. He hoped that, he really hoped that.

"But... you are taught to listen and obey."

"I know it's bad what I did. That's why I do anything to stay here and make you happy. I'll do anything, I promise."

Kurt was moved by his words and yet it made no sense to him.

"I understand that, Blaine. But I don't understand how... you know? You're taught to obey and listen and every Doll does that."

"We do that to stay alive. We may have no feelings and we may have no rights. But we can think, we are smart and we know that, if we don't listen and obey we get killed."

So it was true? They really felt nothing at all? How did you know you didn't feel anything? How did it feel to feel... nothing. Blaine cried. Yes, Blaine cried yesterday so he had to feel something.

"You cried, Blaine. How can you cry when you feel nothing?"

"It's... the logical thing to do. I've read it in the books and saw it in movies. If people don't want to get punished or send away, they cry. I thought I needed to cry to convince you."

Logic, huh? So Blaine acted on logic? Like, when something sad happened he would cry? Or when something funny happened he would laugh? After all, while he fingered himself he moaned and made the noises people usually made when they were about to have sex. The only difference was, that his voice always sounded flat, empty, just like his eyes.

"Okay, so you act on logic, right?"

Blaine said nothing. Of course not. He just had said that they didn't do it. They didn't cry, didn't laugh or did anything to make other people upset because they could kill them. He had never seen a Doll laugh who didn't belong to Rose or George. He had never seen a Doll doing what they wanted to do. They all followed orders and did what people expected them to do.

"I'm sorry. I know I'm not allowed to."

"Hey, no. It's okay. I'm not angry, Blaine. Like you said... I'm... different."

"You are."

Silence and Kurt used those moments to think and recall what George told him. Treat him like a human being, give him time, get to know him and then he came up with something. Something amazing if he might add. He was literally baffled by his own mind and also felt silly that he didn't come up with the idea in the first place. Blaine was used to follow orders and obey. He was used to listen and learn.

"I have an idea and I want to know if you're okay with that."

"I'm listening."

"Good, okay. We could... let's just start from zero."

"From zero?"

"Yeah, from zero. I mean, here in this apartment and around my friends. We just start from zero. That means, you don't have to follow the rules Goldberg or Duncan taught you. You don't have to clean up everyday, make me breakfast or dinner. You don't have to apologize and fall on your knees. I won't punish you, Blaine. If I say no I'll explain why. You can read and eat and sleep as much as you want. We set new rules, human rules. Yes, I want you to live like a human here."

"A human?"

"Yeah, I mean... you are a human being. Well, for me you are."

"I'm not, I don't have a heart. I don't feel anything."

Kurt snapped his mouth shut. So it was true? They did not have a heart?

"Can I... feel? Your..." he pointed at Blaine's chest.

"Of course." Blaine answered and pulled his shirt up, enough to expose his chest.

Kurt moved closer so that his knee touched Blaine's thigh and took a look at Blaine's face to see if... well he didn't see anything only the same expression, that told him nothing. He moved his hand, placed it gently on Blaine's chest, right where his heart should have been. The first thing he noticed, again, was the warm skin, soft but masculine. Then he waited, felt, listened and there was nothing. No heartbeat. It was true, they did have no heart. Yet, Blaine's body was warm, he still looked like a human, got hurt and bled like a human.

"I... don't understand. How can you live without a heart?"

"We were born this way. Without a heart, without feelings. Our body functions without one. We age, we bleed, we need food and water, without that, we'll die. But we don't need a heart and that's why we aren't humans, because we don't feel."

Kurt wondered if this was Blaine speaking or the Doll Company speaking. He hated to hear that Blaine was not a human. Just because he had no heart, didn't feel anything was no reason to treat them less than a human being. For Kurt he was still a human, still equal to him.

"Are you sure you don't feel anything?"

Blaine shrugged, smoothed his shirt back down and said.

"I... feel the same way for twenty six years. Cold from the inside. All I can feel is physical pain."

"Only pain?"

"No. Everything physical."

Kurt wondered how this worked. Okay, Blaine had no heart, but was this the reason he didn't feel anything? No happiness? No sadness? Nothing? Wasn't the brain responsible for what a person felt? Or maybe, it was not only the heart they didn't have but they were also not born with emotions? He wondered if someone ever made any kind of research about that. If someone knew that, than Sebastian and Hunter.

"Okay," he said with a small voice and then spoke more clearly. "Anyway. What do you say about that? Starting from zero? No rules, no orders, but me helping you to become... human, if you want that?"

"No rules?" Blaine asked with the same voice, the same flat sound.

"Well, yeah. I mean you know, manners matter and being a good person to yourself and to others. I just... I want you to have your own personality, Blaine. I don't want you to be a... slave."

"Good person... I want to be a good person. I... want to be human."

Kurt smiled. "You can ask me anything, eat when you want and what you want. Here, in this apartment we can be whoever we are. Outside, well, you know."

"I understand. This is the nice place and outside is the bad place."

"Yes, kind of."

"Why are you doing this? Being nice to us Dolls?"

It was easy to answer that.

"Because I consider you as a human being."

* * *

><p>The next morning Kurt woke up and, again, Blaine made breakfast. He didn't expect for Blaine to change his habits within a day. This became Kurt's new mission, showing Blaine that it was okay to not clean everything everyday or make breakfast, lunch and dinner. They agreed on that Blaine made breakfast and Kurt lunch, dinner together. It was Friday, four days before Christmas and the time for him and his friends to meet each other, to plan the Christmas dinner. Which took place at Kurt's apartment this year.<p>

"We're going to my friends place later."

"Are they like you?"

"Quinn told me about people like you. I didn't believe her."

"We can't really show or say what we think. It's like with you, you know you have to act in a specific way so people don't punish you."

"I understand."

Logic, Kurt reminded himself. Blaine didn't feel anything so he used logic. For him, imagining he wouldn't feel anything at all was a scary thing. In the past he did wish to stop feeling many times, whenever he was hurt or sad. Never had he been serious about that. A life without feeling anything was no life for him. Feelings were important, beautiful, painful but exactly what made him human. Yeah, sometimes he had a hard time showing how he felt, but he still felt something. Kurt just wished Blaine could feel something too and... enjoy life.

Around 6pm they drove to Sebastian's place – a loft that was pretty fancy. He knocked against the door and Sebastian greeted him with his usual, teasing smile.

"Welcome! Oh my god, is this Blaine?"

"Sebastian, he is not a kid," Kurt warned him.

"But he is cute and hot."

Of course, Sebastian needed to say something like that and remind Kurt of the moment when he saw Blaine naked. He hated himself for thinking the same because it was wrong. It happened without them wanting it. Creep, he was a creep although it was not his fault.

"Blaine this is Sebastian Smythe," Kurt introduced his friend as the door closed.

"Nice to meet you, mister Smythe." Blaine said, taking the hand Sebastian offered him.

"Sebastian is fine, Blaine. We're not some Doll haters here," he said and smirked at him. Blaine didn't react, like always. His empty eyes just looked at him and his face never changed. They walked to the kitchen, where Mercedes and Elliott already were, putting the glasses and plates on the table.

"Hey Kurt," his friends smiled in unison and hugged him hello after everything was set on the table. He introduced Blaine to Mercedes and Elliott too and both also mentioned how beautiful he was. Yeah, he didn't need this constant reminder and the flashbacks of naked Blaine.

"Where's Hunter?" Kurt asked as he and Blaine sat down.

"He'll be a little bit late, but he said we can start without him," Sebastian informed him and carried the food to the table.

"What about you guys? Getting along?" asked Elliott and sat across from Kurt and Blaine.

"Yeah, kind of. I think it's new for the both of us. Right, Blaine?"

Blaine nodded but didn't say anything.

"You can talk, Blaine. You're allowed to talk," he reminded him, smiled and squeezed Blaine's shoulder.

"Thank you."

Elliott exchanged a look with Kurt, like he was asking if they were truly alright and Kurt nodded slowly, making the 'I call you' sign with his hand.

They began to eat and the usual chatter started. About work, about old friends who posted whatever stupid thing on Facebook. It was also one of his favorite times, being with his amazing friends and forget work, the cruel world and just laugh. He felt incredibly lucky to have those friends, even when they could be annoying. He felt even more lucky when they did this amazing thing to Blaine. They treated him like an old friend. They always smiled at him, made sure he was comfortable but didn't ask anything. Which was okay, small steps. While they laughed and talked Kurt always used the moments no one wanted his or Blaine's attention to look at Blaine.

He always listened while he ate and when his plate was empty he kept on listening. Not just that, Blaine was also watching them and Kurt noticed what he was trying. It was a weird view but at the same time totally endearing. Blaine tried to mimic their expressions, raising eyebrows, trying to lift the corners of his mouth and smile. Clearly, he had no idea how to do it and his face was not used to this movement. It was weird, awkward even, but so cute and endearing.

The front door opened and this noise snapped him out of his thoughts. He cleared his throat, looked down at his plate and then up. He expected his friends to stare at him, at least one of them, but they were all focused on the front door, where Hunter entered the loft. Obviously exhausted.

"Hey guys," he sighed dramatically and placed a kiss on Sebastian's cheek when he came over to them. "I'm not gonna hug you because I'm sweaty and gross."

"Thank you very much," Sebastian muttered and Hunter smirked at him.

"As if you mind, dear."

"Oh my god, guys," Mercedes groaned, Elliott just smirked and Kurt tried not to imagine what Hunter was referring to.

"Is that your new friend, Kurt?" Hunter asked when he noticed Blaine sitting next to Kurt.

"Yes. Blaine, this is Hunter Clarington."

"Just Hunter," he smirked and shook Blaine's hand as if he knew what he was going to say. Maybe he did know. Kurt hadn't seen Hunter for a long time since he started to work for the Doll Company and Kurt was more than curious to hear about that place. Maybe Hunter found something out that could help them? Help him to help Blaine.

"Okay, before you guys bombard him with questions let him eat and we plan the Christmas dinner, deal?" Sebastian said and stood up to get another plate and glass from the kitchen.

"Fine. This year it's my turn to provide the space. I'll also take care of the drinks and cookies," Kurt began.

"Elliott and I take care of the other sweets and salad. Because it's Sebastian's and Hunter's turn for the real dinner."

"Chicken or turkey?" Sebastian asked and they all agreed on chicken.

"What about a sleepover? We didn't have one for a very long time," Elliott asked and looked hopeful at Kurt.

"Aww, Kurtsie, let's have a sleep over and share gossip," Sebastian cooed.

"Sure, when you guys help me cleaning up the mess," Kurt agreed and tried not to smirk nor laugh. He really wanted to see Sebastian's face when he gave him his gift. Usually they opened their gifts alone, but this sleep over and the chance to see his reaction? Kurt couldn't let that slip away.

"Sleepover, really? Are you guys five?" Hunter asked and tried not to laugh.

Sebastian rolled his eyes and slapped the back of Hunter's head. "Better share your gossip with us now. I'm dying to know what's going on in that company."

They all became silent, Kurt looked at Blaine, to make sure he was okay, and then listened when Hunter began to spoke.

"First of all, it's fucking hard to get a job there or even any information about this company. You have to convince them that you hate the Dolls and believe in what they want us to believe. They pick out ten people every month and then you'll attend a kind of history class, why this company even exists. That Dolls are dangerous, monsters without a heart, not afraid to hurt us blah blah.

It's a fucking creepy place and it's really exhausting being around those stupid people. Anyway, I got that job. At first I did paperwork but now I'm a warden now. Making sure the Dolls don't do anything stupid. Which they really don't. The Dolls are smarter than that. That's all I know. It's a pretty creepy place with very strict rules and rude people.

But my goal is to get access to the forbidden places. Those only Feron and his people have access to. They're hiding something and I want to know what."

Kurt actually expected something like that. The first time he walked into this building he had the same feeling. Everything had just been creepy and cold and so not a place he wanted to enter ever again.

"Of course this is all top secret. I know you won't say anything to anyone. But I mean it. You can't talk about this because not only will I get into trouble but you guys too."

They all nodded in unison.

"But... let's assume you figure something out... then what?" Elliott asked.

"Depends on what we'll find out. If they're criminals we'll do our fabulous police job."

Kurt had his doubts that it was so easy. This company was rich, powerful and Hunter needed to be careful, very careful. Really, if he were in Hunter's place, Kurt was sure he would have already lost it. Hell, he wouldn't even get into this company because he might be an amazing actor and kept his walls up when necessary. This company though, he was sure he couldn't keep his mask on for too long.

Hunter was different. He was a cop and probably better to not let certain things touch him.

* * *

><p>Kurt loved his friends, really, but he was so happy to be back home two hours later and change into something more comfortable. A sweater and sweatpants and some ice cream. All this terrible stuff about Hunter had told him was nagging at his heart and he needed something nice before he called it a day. Blaine changed also into something more comfortable.<p>

"Do you want some ice cream too?"

"Isn't it a bit late for that?" Blaine asked as he stood next to Kurt and watched him putting some ice cream into a bowl.

"It's never too late for ice cream."

"Then yes."

Kurt filled two bowls with strawberry ice cream, put the rest of it back into the freezer and together they settled down on the couch. While Kurt clearly enjoyed his portion of ice cream Blaine ate way to slow and was lost in his thoughts. He used the spoon, scooped some ice cream up but was so lost in his mind that he got more ice cream on his lips, first, and then remembered to open his mouth and eat it.

Kurt said nothing, he didn't have to. Blaine let Kurt know what bothered him so much.

"Do you think I'm a monster?"

* * *

><p><strong>My Blaine heart is crying :( but the next chapters will be rather good for them ;)<strong>


	7. Heartbeat

**It's, again, almost 2am, but I needed to finish it. Hope you guys enjoy this chapter because I was fangirling, although I knew what was coming.**

* * *

><p><em>Not really sure how to feel about it.<br>Something in the way you move  
>Makes me feel like I can't live without you.<br>It takes me all the way.  
>I want you to stay. <em>

_Rihanna – Stay_

Chapter 7. Heartbeat

"Huh?"

"When I was still in the Doll school, two of us got killed because they didn't want to obey. They said, if we don't listen we'll become monsters. Like the Dolls from the past. But we are not, Kurt. We don't hurt anyone. We aren't dangerous. We only need to know what is right and what is wrong."

Blaine put his bowl down on the coffee table and Kurt just stared at him, not believing what he just had heard. Monster? That was the last thing he thought about Blaine, or any person he knew. Yeah, some people could be monsters, and some maybe even deserved to be labeled as monsters. But not Blaine, never he. He didn't know Blaine for too long, but he figured that Blaine knew the difference between what was good and what was bad. Dolls got killed even inside the company? Why? They were there to teach them and keep them alive and not... kill them.

Kurt shook his head, set his own bowl down and moved closer to Blaine.

"You're not a monster, Blaine. Don't listen to what they say."

"But they fear us, the people. They think because we don't feel anything and because we're heartless, we also act in that way."

"Have you ever seen a Doll killing someone?"

Blaine shook his head no and Kurt had to agree. His mind didn't recall a memory that he had ever seen a Doll killing someone. It was just something they learned in school but he had never seen any proof. What if it was a lie? What if it was just another thing they told people and convinced them it was the truth?

"I've heard of it but I know it's not true. Some of us try to rebel, yes, but we don't kill. How are we supposed to do that? We have no guns and even if we tried we would get killed anyway. Maybe we did it in the past, when we still had the chance to, but we don't kill. We know it's a bad thing."

Well, he wasn't alive a 100 years ago and Blaine either. They couldn't say what was true and what not. Kurt only knew one truth and he wanted Blaine to understand and believe in that truth.

"Don't worry Blaine. You're not a monster."

"I promise, I won't kill you. I know this thought scares you guys, getting killed. But I won't do it."

Kurt imagined that Blaine would have said this with desperation, with a voice that tried to convince him, honest and pure. He didn't need to hear it, he knew Blaine wouldn't do it. This boy was not going to hurt anyone.

"I know you won't, Blaine."

That someone told Blaine this, that he was a monster, and maybe Blaine even believed in it at some point... Kurt felt like crying again. So he leaned closer, pulled Blaine into a hug and said.

"You're not a monster. You're a good person."

* * *

><p>The next day Kurt thought a lot about the horrible things Blaine had told him about. How Dolls got killed for rebelling, told they were monsters, how they probably knew, that their life was unfair. They were born, just like Kurt and any other human being. Each of them had a mother, a father and they couldn't keep their kids because people believed they were dangerous. What were the parents feeling? Parents who expected a child and then found out it had no heart and knew, they had to give it away. It must have been one of the worst experiences for a parent ever.<p>

Maybe some were willing to give their kid away, but he was sure many of them were not and they could do nothing against it. The laws were against Dolls, even before they were born.

After breakfast Kurt began to clean his apartment, do the laundry and told Blaine to just relax and read a book or watch a movie. Of course he could have asked him for help and Blaine would have done it without hesitation. This was not what he wanted. Blaine deserved a break after years and years of playing the perfect servant.

Three hours later he was done with the housework and began to wrap up the gifts. After that he got dressed and drove to the post office to send the package away. The queue, of course, was way too long and he almost snapped at the guy behind the counter. He paid more so that the package would arrive at his father's place just in time. Or that was what Kurt hoped. He was a bit late this year and it was not even surprising. A lot had happened in the past months and Blaine was the biggest change.

All the worries he had about taking him home and living with him never came true. If it was anything, than weird but not bad. Both had their own life, own knowledge about the other and now it was melting into something new, hopefully something better for the both of them. Something good, Kurt thought. Music was something good and Blaine played three instruments. Kurt smirked to himself and didn't drive straight back home. There was something he needed to buy. Christmas was close after all.

* * *

><p>Sunday Kurt slept longer, already gathering all the energy he needed for the next days. Today was his lazy day and getting out of his pajamas was not even an option. With a yawn he climbed out of his bed and left the room to find Blaine in the kitchen. There was no breakfast and Kurt actually smiled about that. This was progress, he thought. Perhaps, Blaine did start to believe him. Although there was nothing to eat, Kurt smelled coffee. Fresh coffee and smiled when Blaine filled a cup for him.<p>

"Thank you," he said and then noticed that Blaine was fully dressed. Bow tie, jeans, nice shirt, ready for the day. "Today is being-lazy-day, Blaine."

"Being-lazy-day?"

"Yeah, that means we keep our pajamas on and watch movies and TV shows all day long."

"Okay, I'm going to change then."

Blaine left the kitchen while Kurt walked over to the couch, adjusting the pillows and blankets for them. Then he walked over to the furniture, opened the closet where all his DVDs were. He was in the mood for something funny and maybe something silly romantic? Yeah, that sounded good in his head. Of course Blaine got a say in that too.

"What are we going to watch?" Blaine asked when he came back, dressed in his pajamas and hair damp. He probably wanted to wash the gel out of them and only now did Kurt notice that he had curly hair. Beautiful, dark curly hair that made him look younger.

"I thought about something funny? Maybe even silly romantic? You like that?"

"I guess."

"And what do you think about some hot chocolate? It's snowing like crazy outside and, although it's warm inside here, I feel cold. Hot chocolate usually helps."

"I'll do it," Blaine said and was already walking back into the kitchen. Kurt let him and picked three movies out. 30 minutes later they sat together on the couch, both with a blanket wrapped around their bodies and two cups of hot chocolate on the coffee table – and some sweets. The first movie they watched was 'How to Lose A Guy in 10 days', which Kurt considered as funny because he always laughed when he watched the movie.

This time he didn't really pay much attention to the movie. Most of the time he watched Blaine who, again, tried to mimic some faces but stopped because the scene was already over. When Kurt laughed he noticed, from the corner of his eye, how Blaine watched him then and tried it again. The rest of the movie Kurt was lost in his thoughts, thinking about ways to help Blaine.

They watched another movie and Kurt only watched 20 minutes of it before he fell asleep. He woke up to the smell of food. He sat up and looked over the couch. There was Blaine putting the plates down and told Kurt that food was ready. He thanked him and they ate in silence. With a full belly and feeling totally relaxed he went to his bedroom to get the little mirror. This was a god idea, he thought and smiled proudly as he walked back into the living room.

"Blaine, I have an idea."

"An idea?" he asked and put the last clean plate back inside the cupboard.

"Yeah. I... noticed how you tried to smile, you know? I want to help you to do that."

"Okay, how?"

Kurt sat down next to him and gave him the little mirror. Blaine held it in his hands and stared at his own reflection, then to Kurt.

"When I was younger I wanted to become an actor and I practiced in front of the mirror many times. It helped me to see what I was doing with my eyes, my mouth and how to do it. I guess, it's harder for you since you can't feel any emotion. But I know you can learn to smile and laugh, Quinn did it too."

"She does. I was surprised to see her smile and hear her laugh. She acted like a human being." Blaine admitted.

"Exactly. And you can do it, too."

Blaine put the mirror down on the table and looked at Kurt. He remembered how it always had scared him to look into a Doll's eyes. They were just so empty, only black and their color, blue, green, hazel. But no shine, no life. This had changed and he felt no longer scared when he looked into Blaine's eyes.

"Can you show me how?"

"That's my plan," Kurt said proudly and took the mirror from the table, holding it up so Blaine saw his own reflection.

"Now, try to smile like this," Kurt said and showed Blaine a smile, watching him while he studied Kurt's face and then looked into his own reflection and tried to move the corners of his lips up. It didn't work out, whenever he he moved them up, they fell and Blaine then used his hands to force his mouth into a smile, but he didn't succeed.

"Wait, let me help you," Kurt giggled and moved closer, letting the mirror rest between them as he leaned over and touched Blaine's face. He used his point fingers to let them rest on the corners of Blaine's mouth and moved them up.

"Okay, keep your mouth like that and take a look."

It was not the smile, the natural one but it was more about teaching Blaine until he could do it. Mirror in hands Blaine stared again, touched his face and then his mouth fell again.

"It feels weird. I'm not used to this."

"You never really smiled, huh?"

"No. They never taught us how to smile."

"Don't worry about it. You'll get there you just need to practice."

Blaine nodded slowly and stayed silent for a while before he asked.

"How does it feel to be happy? Maybe if I... understand it I can do it? All I feel... it's cold or warm inside me. That's all."

"Um... well. It's a good feeling. It's warm and makes you think about good things. Your head feels light and you just enjoy it. It's a good feeling to be happy. So, I guess, warm is good then?"

Blaine nodded slowly took the blanket and relaxed against the backrest. He liked that view, how Blaine became more and more human. Maybe that was the reason why he liked to watch movies and read books. It was his way to learn how to be human because he never had someone who wanted to help him, to teach him how to be a human being. Or just to understand emotions and humans. Kurt was pretty sure about that but he asked anyway.

"You learn from the books and movies, right?"

"Yes. I learn a lot about humans and how they walk and talk. I learn a lot about why they do certain things or react in a certain way. But I don't always understand why people feel happy or sad or angry. There are so many reasons why and sometimes, when something bad happens, people are still happy."

"You mean like, taking revenge?"

"Yes. I want to know and understand how it feels. Each book describes it differently or not at all."

Kurt nodded and reached out for his cup: "What do you say about another cup with hot chocolate and I'll try to answer all your questions?"

"Thank you."

Kurt refilled their cups, walked back to Blaine and used the seconds of silence to collect his thoughts, have a clear and open mind and smiled at Blaine.

"Why do you smile now?"

"Well, I smile to show you it's okay to ask, to say something. A smile does not only show happiness, it can also be used to make a person feel comfortable. A smile is always good, you know? Smiles are beautiful."

"Some people also smile when they do bad things, right?"

"Yes. Because for them it's a good thing, although it's not for other people. You know what is bad and what is good, right?"

"I do."

"Okay, what else do you want to know?"

"Why do people cry? Some people cry while being happy, too, right?"

Kurt nodded, sipped his hot chocolate and began to explain.

"Sometimes people laugh so hard and feel so happy that their eyes fill with tears. It's nothing bad. Crying is never bad, you know? It's a sign that something matters to you. That you're hurt, miss something or someone. People cry for different reasons. Just like you did it. You cried, too, remember?"

Blaine nodded slowly.

"I did. I cried because I want to stay and I thought I did something wrong. I've learned that crying usually shows, that a person doesn't want something to happen."

Until the evening Kurt tried to explain to Blaine what made people happy, what made people sad or angry. He tried to explain the normal situations and also the rather not normal situations. It was not really weird to do that. To be honest, for Kurt it was absolutely refreshing. Emotions were a part of his life since he was born and he never truly thought about why they laughed, why people cried.

He just knew when and felt when. It made him also realize how precious this was; Emotions, feeling something, being able to laugh and cry to let things out.

* * *

><p>Christmas Eve and his friends arrived all together at 8pm. In the past days he had spent a lot of time explaining stuff to Blaine and cleaning the apartment together. They also bought a Christmas tree and decorated it together which was totally something Kurt enjoyed. He loved this domestic life with Blaine. But his domestic life turned into the usual chaos. Chaos caused by friends.<p>

His friends brought in the food and left it on the table in the kitchen and put their Christmas gifts under the tree. Kurt and Blaine filled the glasses with champagne.

"Do you drink alcohol?"

"No. I know it's a bad thing and I don't want to do bad things."

Kurt felt almost bad himself. He had nothing against drinking because his friends didn't turn into some violent jerks while being drunk. Mercedes and Sebastian usually laughed about everything when they were drunk, Elliott danced around and Hunter and Kurt talked stupid stuff.

"Well, it's not healthy, that's true. But you can try it if you want to. Remember? No rules? You're one of us now. So if you want to try you can do it."

Blaine stared at his empty glass, thought for a while and then nodded.

"I just want to taste it. I'm not getting drunk. I know people do stupid stuff when they get drunk."

"Very smart from you," Kurt smiled and poured some of the champagne into Blaine's glass.

"Why did you smile now?"

"Um... I guess because what you said makes me happy and proud."

"Proud about me?"

"Well... yeah. You're smarter than some people I know."

Blaine said nothing, only nodded more to himself and Kurt didn't say anything either. He was too busy calling his friends to finally sit down and eat because he was starving. Within seconds the plates were filled with food, chatter and laughs filling his apartment through the old familiar circle of friends. Christmas usually was only for him and his dad, then with Carole and Finn, and now it was him and his friends – but sometimes he went back to Ohio to celebrate it with his dad.

This year he didn't because he had to leave right after New Years Eve. It was time to go back to Paris again and do his job.

"Do you like Christmas, Blaine?" Mercedes asked him while Elliott and Sebastian laughed about something and Hunter rolled his eyes.

"I don't know. But I understand that it's a beautiful time for many people. But there is also a lot to do. Cleaning, cooking, I used to do that for my first owner, every year."

"So you can cook?" she asked and Kurt gave her smile.

"Yeah. I've learned it in the Doll school. What do you do?" Blaine asked and Kurt heard the little hesitation in his voice. Yet, it was progress. Last time Blaine didn't say much to his friends.

"I'm a singing coach."

"I sing too. I don't feel it, obviously, but I hit the notes just right."

Mercedes did look impressed but didn't ask for a duet or for Blaine to sing something. Kurt called her, just like Elliott – right after their meeting at Sebastian's place – and filled them in. Of course they respected his wish, to give Blaine time and not to ask for too much from him. After all, he still needed to get used to this and learn. Learning was the most important thing for Blaine and he couldn't learn everything at once.

"Elliott is a designer, right? Just like you, Kurt?"

Kurt nodded while he swallowed his bite down. "He designs costumes."

"And Hunter and Sebastian are cops? But Hunter works for the Doll Company now."

"I'm still a cop," Hunter smiled at Blaine, leaning against the backrest of his chair and holding his glass in one hand. Sebastian and Elliott were still laughing and talking about, what Kurt guessed, one of Sebastian cop stories. "I just work there to help you Dolls. Because I'm sure something is not right with this company."

"They help us to become the perfect servants. But we all just want to be human. We don't want to get punished or killed."

The way Mercedes looked at Blaine was so familiar to Kurt. He, too, looked just as heartbroken when Blaine told him about this.

"Have you ever met mister Feron, Blaine?"

Blaine nodded. "He always came to us at the end of the month and asked us questions, to be sure we learned everything right."

Hunter nodded and didn't ask anything else, which Kurt was thankful for. Then Elliott told them to listen to the story Sebastian just had told him. It was something about an old lady who thought someone wanted to break into her home, while it was just her son, dressed as Batman to surprise his son. They all began to laugh but Kurt totally forgot what Sebastian said when he noticed how Blaine tried to smile. It was not the perfect smile, not the one that reached his eyes, but it was one and not less beautiful.

In fact, when Kurt saw it his heart made a jump. One that was warm, vibrating through his whole body in a way too familiar way.

* * *

><p>An hour later their plates were empty and Hunter volunteered to clean up with Kurt, which was just a sign for, I need to talk to you. Kurt agreed, played along and watched the others walking into the living room, all three of them wanting to help Blaine to smile. Not just smile, but also laugh because they all noticed how hard it was for Blaine to do that. Kurt let them, not really worried that they'd do something wrong. Not to forget that Blaine was not stupid nor a little child. He was smart, 26 years old and living in a world that was against him.<p>

That was why Kurt felt so protective over him. At least he told himself this.

"Do you plan on keeping him, Kurt?" Hunter asked while he took care of the food that was left and Kurt put the dirty dishes into the sink. He was silent although he knew the answer.

"You know you have to keep him, right? You can't give him away to someone who hates Dolls."

"I'm not... giving him away."

The thought alone was too much for him. Yes, he didn't know Blaine for too long and he only lived with him together for almost two weeks. But that was enough for him to get used to this life, he even liked it. More than he was ready to admit, even to himself.

"Good," Hunter smiled and began to dry the dishes Kurt cleaned already. "How is it? Living with him?"

"It's... strange. But a good kind of strange. All the things that are normal for us are hard for him. Like, can you imagine a life without feeling happiness?"

"Hell no. But he is trying, hm?"

"He is. Being a human is what he wants to be."

"And exactly what the company doesn't want them to be. I hope I'll find something out and we can do something against them." Hunter sighed annoyed.

"Just... be careful, okay? They have power and money and I really don't need another heartbroken Sebastian in my living room," Kurt said with a dramatic sigh. He really didn't want to talk about Dolls or the company on Christmas. It made him just upset or angry.

"Of course not. We won't break up again."

"Better for me and my nerves," Kurt smirked at him and cleaned the last plate before he began to clean the table and stuff the food into his refrigerator.

"Let's join the others," Hunter suggested. With a nod Kurt followed him and smiled when he saw Elliott trying to teach Blaine how to smile. He smiled some more when he noticed how he became better and better at this. Also how beautiful this smile was, again, and how his heart jumped, again. What the hell was wrong with him? Maybe it was the champagne, making him already dizzy.

They settled down on the floor, blankets and pillows around them while the fireplace gave them the warmth they needed. Sebastian was the first one who fell asleep with his head in Hunter's lap, which made Kurt suggest to go to bed. Elliott and Mercedes got the guestroom and Hunter and Sebastian slept on the couch – which was of course one you could turn into a bed. He had planned this days ago, was fine with it but suddenly, the idea of sharing a bed with Blaine seemed like a big deal.

Days ago he told himself that it was no big deal because they were friends. Because Blaine was not feeling desire or need, because he was not familiar with something like this. When Kurt told him they'd share a bed, Blaine just said okay.

So he told himself that, over and over again; It's no big deal. It's no big deal.

However, his heart seemed to have its own mind. The closer he came to his bedroom the louder it began to pound, making it hard to breath and his body burn. What the fuck was wrong with it? He needed to calm down because he felt pathetic and ridiculous, worrying about something that never had crossed his mind before. Perhaps he was just excited and nervous. Who could blame him? Blaine never had a sleepover with anyone, nor did he share a bed with anyone, and the last time Kurt shared his bed with someone – in a platonic way – that was also months ago. He climbed on his bed, under the covers and Blaine followed him, lying down on the right side from Kurt.

Deep breaths, in and out, but his heart didn't stop. It was still pounding against his chest with too much force. His sanity screaming.

It was no big deal, really. He only had to share a bed with Blaine for one night and it was not like anything would happen. Blaine didn't know such a thing like cuddling or kissing. He couldn't even like or love someone or something. Not in the human sense. What was true for Blaine was not true for Kurt. He had a heart, he had feelings and he tried to ignore it because it was pointless and silly to feel what he felt.

Excitement, nervousness but also something else he couldn't really pin point. But he felt the warm feeling, stirring inside his body. The one he had no control over. It was small, just beginning to bloom and he knew, if he let it grow, let it reach his heart the outcome was going to be pain. He didn't want to think that far, he didn't want to worry about something that, maybe, was not even true. But he knew when it started. The moment he saw a smile on Blaine's lips.

"Do you hear that?" Blaine asked as he lay next to Kurt, eyes focused on the ceiling and not moving at all.

Kurt listened but he heard nothing, only his own heart beating way too fast, too loud.

"Hear what?"

"A... beat? A pounding sound," Blaine explained and turned his head to his left side, looking into Kurt's eyes and then farther down. "Is that... your heart?"

"Um... yeah," Kurt stuttered and felt trapped. His stupid heart needed to calm the fuck down, now. Of course it didn't.

"I've never heard that. A beating heart."

"Not even Duncan's?"

"No. He just fucked me, came and then sent me away. I never got even close to his chest."

Kurt stopped breathing, handling the horrific information and tried not to show how he felt. He tried not to make a weird face or be angry or sad again. Blaine was out of that house, he was here and no one would ever do such a thing to him ever again. His life had been sad enough now it was time for better memories, better experiences and Kurt wanted to be a part of them. Of them all, if he was honest.

"Can I feel it? Like you tried to feel mine?"

Kurt knew it was a bad idea, a really bad one. Yet he agreed and watched Blaine's hand appear from under the covers, come closer and when he let it rest against his chest, on the soft fabric of his pajamas, his breath caught. Whenever Kurt had hugged Blaine, touched him in a friendly way, Blaine never responded. Frankly, Blaine never tried to touch him. It was nothing he had learned or was used to. So, this gesture was new, surprising but also welcomed, even though it was a bad idea.

"It... feels nice," Blaine admitted and then looked into Kurt's eyes again. "Can I listen to it?"

"S... sure."

"Thank you."

Blaine moved closer, just as careful, exploring how to do it and let his arm rest over Kurt's belly, head on Kurt's chest and Blaine's ear right where Kurt's heart was, beating faster and louder the closer he came. This was bad, this was wrong and he knew it. Yet, he was not able to say no, nor do something against this. His soul, his whole being wanted this, even if it meant for just today, just for this night. Yes, only once and then never again.

"It's so loud and fast. Is it always like that?" Blaine asked.

"No. Usually it's calmer," Kurt explained and tried to calm down, to act normal. After a while it eventually did calm down, not much but enough so his body didn't vibrate with every beat.

"I think I like this sound. It's... warm."

Warm, yes. Blaine described that all he felt was cold or warm inside. Kurt guessed that warm was the good thing, things that – if Blaine could feel something – he would have been smiling, happy, eyes shining with life and not staying empty.

"Can I stay here for a while?"

There was one thing Kurt liked a lot about their dynamic. That Blaine simply asked whatever he wanted to know, whatever he wanted to do. He asked for it and accepted both answers, yes or no. He asked without over thinking everything because he didn't feel shame or fear. Kurt wished he could have done the same, especially in the past he wished he had done this. But he had feelings, which stopped him from saying things or doing things.

The thing Kurt didn't like was the way Blaine made him feel. He knew the beginning of a crush, he knew how it felt when he began to like a person. He ignored it. For today, he ignored it and just let his hand rest on Blaine's back, breathing together with him.

"I want you to stay."

No one but Kurt knew it, but, he meant this in more than one way.

* * *

><p><strong>I'm sorry for all the mistakes I made, I'm pretty tired right now and re-read it tomorrow. And thaaaaanks so much for all the amazing reviews and all the amazing ideas some of you have. You guys are helping me so much!<strong>


	8. Walls

Chapter 8. Walls

Kurt woke up and expected Blaine next to him, but he was already up. That morning, he was just glad about the fact, that Blaine stood up before him. This gave him time to calm down, to rethink everything and even remember how it had felt to have Blaine so close. It was an amazing feeling to have him so close, but weird to not feel any heartbeat. At the same time, he felt guilty because he knew exactly why he wanted Blaine to stay close, while Blaine didn't know such a thing as 'having a crush' or 'I like someone'.

Kurt shook his head and decided to just ignore it for now. His friends were still here and he didn't need their third eye to look right through him and notice something, not even he was ready to admit to himself yet. Maybe he even worried far too much. Maybe his heart pounded so fast because it had been a while since he slept next to anyone. Also, he needed to make sure everything was planned and done before he flew to Paris. Together with Blaine of course.

When he left his bedroom, the first thing Kurt heard was Sebastian groaning about the gift Kurt gave him. His other friends were just laughing and when he entered the living room, he noticed how Hunter and Sebastian were blushing.

"Thanks a fucking lot, Kurt!" Sebastian shouted and waved with the sex toys in his hands.

"Merry Christmas to you too," he giggled and walked to the kitchen, where Blaine was, preparing breakfast. Elliott stood next to him, filling the cups with coffee. He ignored how his heart reacting to the view of Blaine, still in his pajamas, hair a mess of curls. He was too adorable.

"Merry Christmas, Elliott," Kurt said and walked over to hug Elliott.

"Merry Christmas, Kurt and thanks for your gift. It was about time that I got a new set."

"You're welcome," he smiled at his friend and then turned to Blaine who set the last plate down on the table, filled with fruits.

"Merry Christmas, Blaine," Kurt said when he stood next to him and let his fingers run through Blaine's curls. He just needed to touch him. It felt so good, nothing had ever felt so good as touching Blaine and having him close. But he didn't let his fingers linger in Blaine's hair for too long.

"Merry Christmas, Kurt. Breakfast is ready."

"Thank you, but you know you don't have to do this. These lazy people could have helped you."

"We wanted to, but he insisted to do it alone. I could convince him to let me help him." Elliott explained.

"He needs more time. Anyway, did you open your gift, Blaine?"

"My gift? But I have nothing for you."

There were a thousand cheesy lines running through his mind. Something like: I have you that's the best gift, or, seeing you smile was gift enough for me. Kurt didn't say one of them out loud and guided Blaine to the living room, while Elliott called for the others that breakfast was ready.

* * *

><p>Blaine thanked Kurt for the gift more than one time but didn't touch it until the evening. His friends left around dinner time to visit their families and other friends who spent Christmas alone in New York. Fortunately, no one seemed to notice how affectionate Kurt was towards Blaine, but tried not to be. Well, he tried not to be too obvious.<p>

The next 6 days Kurt was busy with planning, packing, making new appointments, re-schedule some meetings. Sometimes he thought about getting a personal assistant, but he liked his freedom and the power to decide and plan everything on his own. He had worked his ass off to be where he was and he liked to have control over that. Every evening Blaine played on the keyboard for them and Kurt listened to it, smiling to himself about how good Blaine was. Ever melody, he played it without a mistake.

On New Years Eve Kurt felt a bit sad that he couldn't join his friends this year. However, this was his job and he loved his job. France was an amazing country and his client paid really well. With a small smile he made sure everything they needed was packed, tickets ready and paperwork was also done. Unlike Kurt, Blaine didn't need his own ID card nor passport. He only needed to be signed as Kurt's Doll in his own passport. It made Kurt feel so sad and angry that Blaine was not even worth an ID card.

Both suitcases in his hands he rolled them out of his bedroom and to the front door. He checked the time, sighed he read the numbers 11:45pm and walked back to the living room. Blaine sat at his keyboard, on the left side of the living room where his shelves were and the window to the street. It confused Kurt that he was not playing and so he walked over to him, sat down on the small bench, big enough for two people and nudged his shoulder against Blaine's.

"What's wrong?"

Blaine didn't answer right away. For some seconds he still stared at the black and white keys, thinking and then slowly he looked up.

"I remember... that someone sang a song to me. I don't know who and I don't remember the words. But I remember the melody."

"A song from the time when you were a kid?"

"I guess," Blaine said and then looked back at Kurt. "But I... want to remember. I don't like it when my thoughts are a mess and this melody haunts me for a very long time."

"You," Kurt began slowly as he let his thoughts become a clear idea. "could play the melody for me? Maybe I know the song."

"Sure."

Blaine lifted his hands, back straight and let his fingers touch the keys, get note after note together to a melody. Kurt didn't need long to recognize the song. It was an old one but a famous one. So it was surprising that Blaine did not know the words. But then, Blaine went to a different school as Kurt did and his life was also pretty different. Kurt waited and just listened to Blaine playing, like every evening and watched him play.

He wondered if Blaine felt something how he would have played then. Maybe he got lost in the music? Maybe he would have closed his eyes and smiled to himself. Express every emotion he felt? Through his eyes, his lips, his whole face?

He wondered about so many things. What was the sound of Blaine's laugh like, the true color of his eyes, his voice high and low. He liked to wonder, but it also hurt at the same time, because he would never know.

"Do you know the song?"

"I.. I do," he said, cleared his throat and smiled. "Start again and I'll sing to it?"

"Okay."

Blaine started again and Kurt looked down to the keys and began to sing, with a little smile on his lips.

"_You are my sunshine, my only sunshine. You make me happy when skies are gray. You never know, dear, how much I love you. Please don't take my sunshine away."_

The moment Kurt began to sing he noticed, from the corner of his eye, that Blaine was watching him and Kurt didn't stop singing. This time he smiled at Blaine as he sung the next part.

"_The other night, dear, as I lay sleeping. I dreamed I held you in my arms. When I awoke, dear, I was mistaken. So I hung my head, and cried."_

"I... remember." Blaine said when he stopped playing after the second part.

"Do you remember who sang it to you?"

"No."

Lights shone through the window, followed by a bang sound. The new year was here and they missed it. Everyone was celebrating, hugging outside, lights falling down on New York and they had missed it, because they were lost in their own little world.

"Happy new year, Kurt." Blaine said, with the same voice like for the past weeks. Yet he smiled, still the rather unreal smile but not less lovely. Only in his imagination he heard Blaine saying it with a happy sound, because he felt happy to be here with him.

"Happy new year, Blaine."

"Are we going to kiss now?"

The next sound of the exploding firework was in synch with his heart. It skipped a beat as the words sunk in. Kiss? Was it okay to kiss Blaine, although he wouldn't even feel a thing? Was it okay to kiss someone who maybe didn't even understand what a kiss meant? Did Kurt want to kiss him? Hell yes. Was it smart? No, it was probably the stupidest thing to do after the one night Blaine slept together with him in the same bed. Even after days Kurt still felt the same way whenever Blaine was close to him. Even after days he couldn't shake this feeling off.

"Do you... want to?"

"I don't know. But I know it brings good luck? I've read that in a book."

"You want that? Good luck?"

"I want you to have good luck. I already got lucky, I guess."

This honesty, how Blaine didn't feel insecure or shame or embarrassment. What was normal for Blaine was new for Kurt, but so so refreshing. Like it had been in the past weeks.

"Have you ever kissed someone?"

Just like Blaine was honest, Kurt could be just as honest too. For Blaine it was learning, for Kurt it was becoming a more honest person, and also to learn new things as well.

"No."

There was this huge conflict Kurt felt. A battle between what is right and what is wrong. He almost found only reasons why kissing Blaine was wrong. So many reasons why he shouldn't do it and explain to Blaine why he shouldn't. Because Blaine wasn't sure if he wanted that, it was Blaine's first kiss, Blaine used logic and not feelings. But the biggest reason why he shouldn't do it was, because it felt like he was taking advantage of him. It almost felt like he was going to use him.

His mouth was already open, the words ready to leave his mouth. It never happened. Blaine took him by surprise when he pressed his hand gently against Kurt's chest and felt for his heart. His racing heart, pumping blood through his whole body and screaming: Yes! Blaine said nothing, just kept his hand against Kurt's chest and felt for his heartbeat.

"Normally, two people who are in love kiss at midnight on New Years Eve. Couples, you know?"

"A kiss is something special, right?"

"Yes. You should share a kiss with someone special to you."

Blaine nodded, processing the new information and then asked, eyes focused on Kurt's chest as if he could understand the language his heart was speaking. Kurt knew he probably didn't.

"Am I special to you?"

Someone needed to stop his heart from going crazy. Someone needed to stop his mind from screaming that this was a bad idea. For a second he wished he couldn't feel anything, just like Blaine. Although it seemed to be an awful life, empty, black and white, without them everything seemed just less complicated.

"Of course you are," he said, resting his hand on Blaine's and felt his own heartbeat pounding warm and strong against their hands.

Slowly he turned his body to Blaine, watching the smile slowly fading and just looking into Blaine's eyes, but there was nothing. Of course there wasn't he had no heart. Kurt's body though... in his chest, in his mind, there was a lot happening, even his cheeks began to turn slightly pink. One kiss, just one kiss.

"Close your eyes," Kurt whispered and Blaine followed his request.

His hand rested on Blaine's cheek, thumb stroking gently over the cheekbone and then he leaned closer, eyes closed as his lips pressed gently against Blaine's. At first it was just Kurt doing everything and Blaine sat still, not moving, breathing like it didn't do anything to him. His body was calm and Kurt's pure, beautiful chaos. Eventually Blaine kissed him back, probably remembering how he had seen two people kissing in a movie and wanted to do the right thing.

Before Kurt could do more, ask for more, he slowly pulled back, leaning his forehead against Blaine's to catch his breath and then smiled at him. This was not going to happen ever again. He got a taste of the sweet feeling, of what he secretly wanted.

* * *

><p><strong>1 month later<strong>

It felt so good to work again. It felt good to do what he loved so much, but it was also the perfect distraction from his feelings. Somehow, he managed to ignore them, suppress them although Blaine was always around him. It helped to set some rules for himself. No more kisses, no more hugs, nothing that indicated that he wanted more. It was truly a nice little vacation.

However, home sweet home, and he was grinning from ear to ear when he knocked against Rose' door and the old lady flashed him a smile.

"Kurt! Happy new year, dear."

"Happy new year, Rose," he wished her and hugged her gently. They went inside and Kurt introduced Blaine to her.

"This is Blaine, my friend. Blaine, this is Rose Maloni."

"Call me Rose, Blaine," she said, knowing the Dolls pretty well.

"Hello Rose and happy new year," Blaine smiled, actually smiled. In the past month he practiced that a lot and it seemed almost real. Just almost.

They followed her inside, walking to the living room where two other Dolls were. Blaine walked over to them, hugged them – just like it happened with Quinn – and then Rose suggested that they could spent some time together. Blaine did change a lot, but one habit remained. He still looked at Kurt and waited for his permission. He didn't do that in their apartment, but whenever they were somewhere else, he made sure that Kurt agreed.

"It's okay," he said and watched them leave the room, disappearing behind a door to the second living room – the one for the Dolls.

"He looks really good, Kurt. And I'm not talking about his face or body, but how relaxed he seems."

"You think?" he asked, sat down and nodded when she pointed to the two empty cups and a little pot of tea next to the cups.

"Yes. You were so worried about everything, but I can see you're doing pretty well. I know how hard it is living with a doll and help them to be more human."

"It's not easy, no. Most of them time I'm... I'm rather unsure and confused?"

Rose nodded slowly, held his cup up and Kurt took it from her with a smile and thank you. He added some sugar and lemon and then listened to Rose, while she sat down on the white couch and held her cup in her hands.

"It takes months to change their minds. Deep within though, they all want to be humans, but they are scared to get punished or killed when they don't do what they were taught."

"How long did you need to change their minds?"

Rose hummed thoughtfully, sipped her tea – Kurt did the same – and then answered with her old and yet silvery voice.

"It's more about them realizing that they are safe, you know? We don't need to change their minds, they already know what is wrong and good. But you need to explain a lot about feelings. They never learned what feelings are."

"Blaine reads a lot of books and watches a lot of movies."

Rose laughed in a endearing way. "It's their way to learn when no one explains. From my experience, Dolls who already understand emotions and know how to smile and cry and show anger, can teach other Dolls better to do and understand the same. It took me almost a year before Henry acted like a human. Well, as human as he can. You'll always notice they are not feeling anything for real. But actors are the same, right? They pretend, too. A Doll can do the same. Some better than others."

She was right. Blaine was pretty convincing but Kurt saw that it was not real. Not one single smile, not even the crying Blaine once did. The desperate wish to see his real smile and the light in his eyes became a painful wish. One he pushed far, far away from his mind, right to the darkest place.

"That's why you send him away with your Dolls," Kurt smiled at her.

"I did. I also suggest you'll come over more often. Not for work, god no, I know how busy you are. But I know it will be good for Blaine."

Kurt was sure that it was good for Blaine to be around his people. They understood him better than Kurt, knew how to teach him right, how to explain everything and make it more understandable for Blaine. It was a good thing, no doubt. Yet, Kurt wanted to be that person who taught Blaine everything.

"Dear, don't look like that. It's not our fault and it's okay to not know everything. You're doing great, believe me. You heart is big and you care a lot, even when you're good at hiding this."

Kurt rolled his eyes playfully. Yeah, he did like to hide how he felt. It was his way to keep himself safe. Blaine though, somehow... he broke these walls without even trying. That's why he needed to put more effort into keeping them up.

* * *

><p>The rest of the week Kurt was busy with calling people back, make new appointments, create a new schedule – because he had three new clients for March – and got lost in his paperwork. The usual start of the new year. New clients, new schedule, new ideas. He visited his favorite fashion websites, scrolled through Tumblr – because there were so many amazing artists – and let himself gather all the inspiration he needed. His sketchbook was always with him and on Saturday it was already filled with new drawings. Dresses for Rose, summer clothes for kids, everything he could come up with.<p>

This year it was still different. Usually, when Kurt got lost in his work and his ideas, he forgot to eat and coffee became his best friend all over again. With Blaine around him though, he didn't starve nor forget to eat. Blaine made breakfast, lunch and dinner, put so much effort into it without even knowing. It would have been rude to say no and, no matter how he felt about Blaine, he still hung out with him, still explained everything he wanted to know to him. He was still his friend and luckily Blaine never mentioned the kiss – or the night they spent together – ever again.

He had thought so much about all of this. The night they cuddled, the kiss they shared and he felt pathetic for even feeling something for him. Blaine didn't even have a personality, not really. He was acting logical and even if Kurt explained to him, what he felt and what it meant, Blaine would have labeled it as something good and simply agreed to 'yes, let's be boyfriends' or 'yes, I think I like you too'.

It was never going to be like it was for Kurt. A decision right from the heart.

Sunday afternoon Kurt had plans. Plans that included to be lazy and watch some bad TV while listening to Blaine trying to laugh. He became better and better at that. While he smiled to himself because Blaine was just too adorable and thought about taking a nap or not, someone knocked against his door. He gave Blaine a questioning look as if he knew something.

A visitor? Today? His friends usually called him before they came over – just to be sure Kurt was home. A groan fell from his lips and he unwrapped himself from the blanket, hurried over and opened the door. He wished he had never done that when a brown short haired, tall, with brown eyes man stood there. To be more specific, it was Jayden, his booty-call friend – like Elliott loved to call it.

"Jayden, hey."

"Hey Kurt, it's been a while. Got busy, huh?"

"Kind of... um come in," he said and took a step back. For some reason he had a bad feeling, but he couldn't tell why.

"No fucking way," Jayden gasped and then Kurt remembered why this was a bad idea. "You have a fucking Doll? No way!"

Blaine stood up and Kurt wanted to run over, stand before him and protect him from Jayden. In the past weeks he spent so much time with good people. People who treated Dolls like human beings. People who helped him and Blaine to learn from each other. Jayden was the stereotypical Doll hater, like almost everyone.

He needed to come up with something, needed to get Jayden out or warn Blaine before any damage was done.

"Blaine, come here," Kurt commanded and Blaine did stand up, did follow Kurt to the kitchen and Kurt just felt sick. He never wanted to do this to Blaine. "Make us some tea, okay?"

"Okay." Blaine answered. This was going to keep him busy enough for Kurt to figure out what Jayden wanted and then throw him out with some lame excuse.

"Why do you have a Doll, though? I thought you wanted to wait until you move into a bigger place?"

Right, Kurt used many excuses whenever people asked him why he, as a famous and rich designer, didn't have one. He watched Jayden sit down on the chair at the kitchen table and nodded.

"I'm already looking for a bigger place. Blaine just seemed to be the perfect Doll and I bought him before anyone else could."

Jayden hummed, his eyes on Blaine and checking him out? Kurt didn't like that and wanted to say something, stop Jayden form doing that but didn't. He couldn't when he heard Jayden's next words because it took all his self control not to puke right there and then.

"I bet you guys have fun. No wonder you didn't call me."

He wanted to tell Blaine that he was sorry. He wanted to punch Jayden for even bringing something like that up. Why did he never notice what a dick this human being was? Probably because they never really talked about Dolls. Yes, he never mentioned the topic again when Jayden told him, they were perfect servants.

"What do you want, though? I don't have much time."

"I wanted to see you and ask you if we could go out next weekend."

Hell no, Kurt thought while Blaine put Kurt's cup down in front of him and then took Jayden's cup. His eyes went wide, staring at Jayden and expecting something to happen. Nothing, luckily. He didn't touch Blaine in any inappropriate way.

"I doubt I'll find time. To be honest, I-"

"Aw, come on Kurt. You have a Doll and we could have so much fun with him."

Jayden said more, but Kurt didn't hear his words. His mind was busy with chasing old memories, stuff Elliott and Mercedes said about Jayden. How Kurt didn't need him, how he should focus on his work or find someone better than him. They disliked Jayden because of his attitude towards the Dolls, this was truly the only reason why.

A reason they found out months later – which was also the reason why Kurt didn't call him again as often as he used to. No one ever asked if someone liked or disliked Dolls, everyone just assumed the world agreed on, that, Dolls were nothing but servants for people. It was a slow and secret process to find people who disagreed, who treated Dolls as human beings. Before he knew Jayden's true opinion he just enjoyed his humor, their time alone, the nights when he just relaxed and forgot everything else.

Now he felt just sick and wanted Jayden to get out and never come back. Now. Kurt knew at some point he would snap. He ignored all the haters and idiots for years, let them get away with their stupidity and just focused on his work. Not today though. Today he needed to draw a straight line, especially when Jayden smirked at Blaine and reached out for him, to touch him.

"Jayden," Kurt said with a warning tone. "You should go."

The hand never reached Blaine, the look Jayden gave him made Kurt feel like he was naked. Yet, he kept his wall up and needed to find a smooth way out of this. It was not the right time to upset someone and then deal with gossip. Although he doubted Jayden would ever say something bad about him.

"We can't do this anymore."

"So, you're seeing someone?"

"That's really none of your business," Kurt said, smiled and stood up to pull Blaine away from Jayden, safe behind him in the most unobtrusive way possible. Jayden was not stupid – of course not, he had his own hotel in freaking New York and was doing pretty well himself – and accepted decisions. That's what Kurt hoped and that's what also happened.

"Too bad," Jayden sighed and stood up. "We could have had so much with your pretty Doll."

"Just go, okay?" Kurt almost snapped. Calm down, he thought, calm the fuck down. If it weren't for his reputation he would have done something else. Something under the category 'very stupid but I don't regret it'. Fortunately, Jayden left and Kurt followed him to lock the door. He should have called him, told him to not come back, that he was done with him.

Between the new clients, new schedule and Blaine he totally forgot about taking care of this. Now he just hoped for no backlash. No gossip about him having a Doll or him seeing someone. He needed to call his PR and make sure they knew about that and took care of it. Not that he ever had to deal with gossip, not really. Only at the beginning of his career when he had no idea what he was doing. This was, luckily, over and he learned from it.

With slow steps he walked back into the kitchen where Blaine stood, not moving but waiting? Yeah, he was waiting and Kurt felt bad.

"Blaine? Are you okay?"

"Of course. Is he gone?"

"Yes."

"He is one of the bad people."

"I know and he'll never come back."

"That's good. Thank you."

Blaine spoke and while doing that his body clearly relaxed. Only then, Kurt noticed, how much Blaine had changed. He hadn't seen Blaine standing straight and like a stature for weeks, which was a good sign for him. This Blaine, the more relaxed one, the more human one, he liked that.

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><p><strong>Hey guys! It's again almost 2 am and I'm freaking tired, god, this chapter's end was so hard to write, but I've finished it. I hope you liked this chapter because the next chapter is going to be pretty... uncomfortable but also good? Yeah, I'm really excited and worried to write it, but we'll see. I'll do my best! And thank you, thank you, thank you, I love to hear from you guys! You're amazing and I can't thank you enough for all your inspiring reviews and asks on tumblr! <strong>


	9. Cleaning

**Hey guys! It took a bit longer to update but only because I have a beta for this fic! This chapter is already the beta version and I'll start posting the betas for chapter 1 - 8 when they are done :). Big thanks to artandatrocity (that's her tumblr) for doing the beta! Now, this chapter. Like I said in the last one, this chapter is rather one that's supposed to make you guys feel umcomfortable or conflicted. I don't know what kind of warnings to put here but mention of dead bodies that I can say. My beta said it's wonderful and moves the story along nicely, but she also got what I meant by 'uncomfortable' (after all, this is supposed to be a dark fic and not exactly a fairy tale, not yet though). Now, enough said, I'm really excited for you to read this chapter :)**

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><p>Chapter 9. Cleaning<p>

After calling his manager and PR to warn them about his upcoming move he began to look for a new place. He told them what had happened between him and Jayden – of course his PR was Doll-friendly too – and no matter how hard he tried to tell himself that Jayden wouldn't do anything stupid, Kurt wanted to be safe instead of sorry still. They supported his decision and promised to keep an eye on every gossip. Their okay made him excited. A new place meant a new beginning. He could give Blaine the room he deserved and also a room for him to work in. Not to forget that he could chose who was allowed to know where he lived now. Between work and helping Blaine, he was also busy finding the right place – because there was no such a thing as the perfect place in New York.

Kurt was never poor nor rich until he became a designer and suddenly people fell in love with his clothes and asked for more. There was no reason to play it down or deny it, because having enough money solved almost every problem. That's why he found a new place pretty fast and moved out from his old place. With no real limit when it came to money, he could buy a new place pretty fast and sell his old one in the meantime. But people were crazy to find a place to live so he sold his new place just as fast as he bought the new one. Yes, money sometimes made life so much easier. It was a bigger apartment with three rooms, a bedroom, an open kitchen and living room – it looked a lot like his old place, just was a cozy place with warm colors, dark brown floor and furniture and yellow walls. Wide windows – with a white window frame – allowed sunlight to flood the room.

Everything was already inside, put right where he wanted his furniture to be and now it was his task to empty the boxes with his books, clothes and other little things. But before he could take care of that, he wanted to show Blaine his new room. A real room with a bed and a couch, a closet for his clothes and a bookshelf for his books and movies.

He felt proud and excited to show Blaine his room. Every detail was thought through, everything decorated and placed to make this room as comfortable and homey as possible for Blaine. The smile Blaine gave him and the thank you he offered were not as fulfilling as Kurt expected them to be. Still, he felt happy that Blaine smiled, no matter how honest the smile seemed to be. It was not Blaine's fault that he couldn't show how he felt if he couldn't feel.

This fact made Kurt sad for the first three weeks, frustrated him for the next three weeks but finally he accepted it. Blaine needed time, just like Rose said. After 26 years of not feeling anything and never being treated as a human he couldn't expect Blaine to change within some weeks or to understand emotions. While Kurt knew that not even time would allow Blaine to learn how to feel, he knew that he needed to give him time to learn how to pretend. How to laugh, smile and cry in the most convincing way. Still, it made him sad to remember that no matter how good of an actor Blaine became, those eyes would always be empty.

It was the last week of February and Kurt used his free time to do some research. He made himself some tea, sat down at the kitchen table and opened his laptop. One last look at Blaine to be sure he was busy reading and Kurt typed into the search bar "falling in love with a Doll." Not that he was ready to admit this to himself, but he wanted to know if this was even possible, if someone ever admitted they fell in love with their Doll and if it wasn't as hopeless as it seemed to him.

All Kurt found were sick people obsessed with their Dolls. He even found some blogs about Dolls someone owned and showed what they let their owners do to them. No one seemed to love them like a human being, or, no one showed it on the internet. Of course not. Society labeled Dolls as things. With a sick feeling he closed his laptop and wanted to forget everything he had seen.

Kurt stood up, took his cup with him and walked to the living room. Blaine was still reading and Kurt kept a close look at what exactly he was reading. Even if Blaine knew what was right and what was wrong, he still didn't feel things like regret or guilt or any emotion that stopped a person from doing something bad. That's why he made sure that whatever Blaine read had a good story and the right point of view on what was bad and what was good.

He sat down on the couch, a new one which was bigger and more comfy, and just watched Blaine read. This was one moment he allowed himself to enjoy. For the last two months he followed strict rules about what he could and could not do with or around Blaine, so he treasured these little moments. Whatever he felt for Blaine was not going to end well and he wanted to keep himself and his heart safe. This was _his_ logical way.

"Do you have questions?" Kurt asked because Blaine looked up and just stared at the wall across from him, like he usually did while thinking after reading something new.

"I do. But I know it's something that will make you uncomfortable. Making someone uncomfortable is a bad thing."

Something that made him uncomfortable? Kurt wondered what that could be because there was nothing that made him really uncomfortable. Maybe one thing, but for that someone needed to read his mind and, luckily, no one could do that.

"You can ask me, though. I'm pretty open minded."

"It's about sex," Blaine said, like it was no big deal. Of course to him it wasn't because he couldn't feel uncomfortable.

"Okay," Kurt began to say. "What about sex?"

"I don't understand exactly what it's good for. My body did react whenever I had sex with Duncan, but I never... was warm inside, you know? And I read in many books and saw it in movies that people enjoy it."

"Maybe because you didn't want it. You said it yourself, whenever you feel warm it's something good."

"Yes, my body feels warm so I'm sure it's a good thing when this happens."

Kurt nodded slowly and waited some seconds before he explained what was so amazing about sex, even though he was sure it wouldn't help Blaine at all. Sex was all about feeling, breathing, letting yourself fall and enjoy the incredible feeling of an orgasm. It did so much to ones soul and heart and he remembered how people said that the best kind of sex was when two people loved each other. Kurt was sure he never really loved anyone. Not as much as he wanted to love someone, at least.

"It's all about feeling something. Having sex with a person you like or love does things to your heart and soul that simply make you feel happy. Really happy and safe."

"But people have one-night stands too?"

"Yes. But then it's just about sharing an orgasm and feeling pleasure."

"Pleasure," Blaine mumbled and then opened his book again, reading something before looking back up. "It's hot, right?"

"Yes," Kurt tried not to gasp, because remembering exactly what it felt like was not good. He hadn't had sex in a while, only some lonely nights with his hand – and fantasies about Blaine which made him feel just sick and guilty whenever he was done.

"So, sex between two people who want it, is the good kind of sex?"

"Yes, and the only kind of sex people should have."

"Okay. What about us?"

"Us?" Kurt choked out and clutched his cup, as if he was holding on to dear life. What about them? Was he too obvious? Did Blaine learn how to read emotions and Kurt didn't notice? No, he didn't show anything, right? If he was good at something – beside being an amazing designer – it was hiding how he felt. Yes, he was very good at that.

"We kissed and you said I'm special to you. Our next step should be sex, right?"

He hated this... this logic Blaine used. How he literally calculated everything and never ever would feel the need to be close to someone, want to have sex with someone. Even kiss someone.

"I just want to do what is right and good. So you'll keep me. I can feel how my body is more comfortable since I came here."

He probably meant relaxed, Kurt thought but didn't say anything. The fact that Blaine didn't want to do it because he thought it was the next logical step, but because it was something good and what Kurt wanted, so he would keep him... that was even blowing his mind. Blaine's thinking changed more than he realized. It was not only about doing the right thing, it was not only about to become a good person and do good things.

Apparently, Blaine wanted to do what was good for Kurt.

"Blaine. I'm... not going to have sex with you. Nor kiss you again."

"Why?"

"We... we just can't. It's nothing bad, really. I'm not throwing you out or anything. You're a good person, amazing actually. But we can't kiss or have sex because... it will... my heart will break, you know?"

"Why should your heart break? Sex and kisses with someone special are good for you."

Kurt felt his own frustration growing, together with the desperate wish that Blaine could feel, too, and understand why. Words could describe his emotions, but it was never going to be the same as feeling them.

"You are special to me, Blaine. But I can't do that with you because I might... I could... fall in love, you know?"

"Love?"

Kurt nodded slowly and watched Blaine, how he looked down, how he opened his book again and then stood up, walking to his bedroom. He didn't came out until morning. Kurt was sure he either made some research and after that he'd play on his keyboard and sing 'You are my sunshine'. Like every evening since New Years Eve.

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><p>Blaine didn't talk to him for a whole week. Well, they still said good morning and talked about what to cook and where to go, but he never asked anything again. They visited Rose and George and, whenever they did that, Blaine hung out with their Dolls. Which was not a bad thing because he became better at showing emotions day after day. Kurt just focused on his job and understood that Blaine probably needed some time to understand what he had told him about sex and love. They were complicated to explain and even more complicated to feel. Especially love.<p>

Kurt never needed to worry about that. Whenever a relationship ended he was sad, of course. Still, it was never such a heartbreak that he couldn't eat or sleep after some days. He simply moved on because he had bigger things to do, like becoming a designer. Kurt wasn't used to worrying about love or sex, at least not until Blaine just came into his life and literally grabbed his heart without knowing it.

How was this even possible, he wondered every night when he lay in his too big bed all alone. Blaine had no real personality yet, he couldn't show how he felt and his eyes were empty, with no light in them. Whenever Kurt liked someone it was because of their eyes, or their smile, or how their voice sounded. It was their whole body language, everything that fascinated him and he fell for in that person. Blaine was different. If he had to describe Blaine's personality, it would have been something along the lines of awkward, or weird. But if he said Blaine was a Doll it wouldn't have been either of those words.

So, what was it that made him want to be more than just friends? What was his heart screaming after if Blaine had none of what he usually looked for? It made no sense to him and that's why he mastered ignoring his feelings and just being a good friend. A friend who helped Blaine and supported him, protected him so he could have the life he deserved. Which didn't mean he stopped wondering what kind of person Blaine would have been with a heart and emotions.

The fact was that it was pointless to wonder about that. Blaine was born this way and he never heard of Dolls getting a heart. No one would give a Doll a heart because they were not human beings. They were servants, born to follow orders and do what Kurt's kind wanted them to do.

It was Friday, the first day of March, when Kurt decided to enjoy his last three days of free time by watching the Oscars – which he had missed when it aired. With a bowl full of popcorn and some rum with coke, he settled down on the couch and pressed play. His little time of laughing about jokes and watching people he once called his clients – and some people he would call his clients later this month – didn't last for long. Blaine left his room and walked towards Kurt but stopped when he realized he was watching something.

"Do you have a moment for me?"

"Sure," Kurt said without hesitation and stopped the recorded show.

Blaine walked around the couch, sat down next to Kurt and remained silent for a while, then looked up and spoke.

"I just wanted to say that I tried to understand what love means, but it's too complicated. Books describe different kinds of love. I know it can be warm and I know it can be painful. And I don't want you to feel any kind of pain. So, I understand why you don't want to have sex with me."

Kurt smiled, a bittersweet smile because it didn't matter what they did. He knew both ways were going to hurt him. It was okay, he already handled everything he felt for Blaine and everything he wanted to do with Blaine. At least, he hoped that.

"But I also understand that it's not a bad thing. That you'll still keep me."

"Of course I will. You're a good person." Kurt said and smiled when Blaine smiled too.

"I've learned that compliments are a reason to smile."

"That is true." Kurt chuckled and he liked that. The tension that had been around them since the last time they talked was exhausting. Fortunately, it was gone at that moment. "Wanna watch with me and practice laughing?"

"Okay," Blaine agreed and leaned back when Kurt pressed play. This was fun, he had to admit. Whenever he laughed or the people on TV, Blaine tried to laugh, too. His laughs were just like his first tries to be more human. Instead of sitting relaxed he looked rather stiff the many times he tried to smile but rather made a funny face because he had no idea how. The same thing happened with his laugh. It was just a simple ha, ha, ha, or a mixed snort with laughter.

He didn't learn it right away until Kurt told him to laugh from his belly or chest. By the end of the show, Blaine managed to giggle. That evening they sat together at the keyboard and sang the song Blaine, obviously, cared about. Even if he had no idea he did.

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><p>The next day Kurt was busy on his phone, talking to his new client. A single mom with a daughter, who inherited all the money from her father who died two years ago. Kurt smiled most of the time because this woman sounded sweet and nice over the phone. He liked the way she talked with him and then with her daughter, who was doing something she shouldn't, and how she clearly was overwhelmed with everything. She, Annie, apologized over and over again that she needed to change their meeting time, and when she asked the same questions over and over again Kurt did his best to calm her down.<p>

Eventually he succeeded and repeated himself, too. Yes, he was fine with her daughter being around them, yes, he did design clothes for children too. He ended the call 10 minutes later and smirked to himself. Well, this was going to be something new and hopefully fun. The last thing he hoped was that this woman didn't treat Dolls like objects. Sure, Blaine didn't need to go with him but he liked to have him close instead of here, all alone. Who knew who would knock against his door or who would call.

He walked back to his kitchen to see if he had still some chicken left for lunch, but he did not, which meant he needed to buy some. Luckily the snow was gone and the first buds were just showing.

"Kurt?" Blaine said his name when he joined Kurt in the kitchen, watching him as he looked to see if he needed more than just chicken. "Do you need something?"

"Yeah. I wanted to fry some chicken and cook some rice for lunch. But I have no chicken and no salt."

"Can I go to the grocery store then?"

Kurt froze in his tracks, closed the cupboard and stared at Blaine for several moments. In the past four months he never left Blaine alone. Not here, not anywhere else. He was always with him, around him, keeping him close and safe and it never really occurred in his mind to let him go somewhere alone. Kurt was too scared that something could happen to Blaine. It didn't happen often, not really, most Dolls were punished safe behind walls. Some 'accidents' didn't even make to the news. Five times, Kurt thought. He only saw it five times that a Doll got attacked in public. Only one time he saw the dead body. He didn't want to see Blaine's dead body.

"I... don't think this is a good idea, Blaine."

"But we do this all the time. I know how it goes. I did it for my former owners, too."

Yeah, but Kurt was not like them. He, on the contrary, cared about Blaine and needed him safe. But what he needed and wanted were not exactly what he promised himself to do. His promise was to treat Blaine like a human being and give him the freedom and life he deserved. Also, the shop was basically just around the corner, a 10 minute walk. Honestly, what could happen? It was in the middle of the day, people were everywhere. Another point was that Blaine still belonged to him and he just needed to say that and people would back off.

"Okay," Kurt gave in and closed the cupboard. After all, Blaine was not a kid. He was almost 27 years old and smart. "I need some chicken breast fillet, salt and oil. You can also buy us some ice cream."

He walked over to the front door, reached into the pocket of his jacket and fished his wallet out.

"Just in case someone attacks you or... does something you don't want, you're allowed to defend yourself. Okay?"

"Okay." Blaine agreed.

It was no big deal. If Blaine didn't come back within 30 minutes he'd go and look for him, or call him. Fuck, he couldn't even call him because Blaine had no phone. He was always around Kurt and never needed one. He regretted that deeply and he tried to think of a second phone he had, but he had none. With his wallet in one hand and his mind filled with words like 'you're so stupid, Kurt' he approached Blaine and gave him the money.

Then he was gone and the apartment felt too big, too cold. Kurt felt pathetic, although he had really good reasons to be worried. He had seen Blaine in trouble, seen how three people tried to force him into something – what he was never sure of but it looked like they tried to rape him – and saved him. The gun from Sebastian was still here, if he still felt like he needed it. But letting Blaine go with a gun would have been just plain stupid.

His first try to distract himself was by turning on the TV, but he found nothing interesting. Then he thought about making some cookies or a cake, but he decided not to. What if he had to go after Blaine and forgot to turn the oven off? He totally saw that happening.

10 minutes later Kurt calmed down a little bit and began to work on the scarf for Rose. Yes, work, that was a good idea, it kept him busy and less worried. Blaine was smart, strong and knew he was allowed to defend himself. No need to be worried. Somehow Kurt managed to put all of his focus on the green scarf, sewing a white diamond on one end of the scarf. He never understood why people liked such a thing, jewelry on clothes. He was no fan of that. Brooches or something were a nice accessory, because those were things he could take off and keep it safe in his drawers.

Done with the sewing and taking one last look at his work he nodded, smiled proudly and put it into the little box Rose gave him the last time he visited her. He stood up and stretched his body while looking at the clock on the wall. 40 minutes. That was too much. He promised himself to wait at least 30 minutes. But he waited, because, what if Blaine just looked for some good ice cream? He was probably just busy with looking at things. However, this didn't mean that Kurt calmed down. Of course not. In fact, he was walking up and down his living room and stopped when he heard the familiar melody of the news. News, in the middle of a show?

His eyes were fixed on the screen, watching and the more he heard the more his mouth fell open and sheer panic bubbled inside of him and about to burst.

"_We reported about the yearly 'Doll Cleaning' back in January, which starts right this moment. The cleaning is for our own safety and to keep the Dolls safe, too. Especially at the end of February many Dolls get abandoned and end up on the streets. We want to remind all Doll owners to make sure to keep their Dolls close if they are unmarked. If your Doll still doesn't have a mark, make sure to mark them as your own as soon as possible."_

Cleaning? What cleaning? Kurt never had heard of a cleaning and he had never witnessed a cleaning. What did they do? What was this mark they were talking about? Blaine did not have a mark as far as Kurt knew. Blaine never even mentioned that he needed a mark and no one ever told him that he needed to 'mark' Blaine.

"_We suggest all Doll owners make sure their Dolls are safe and not alone. Last year, five Dolls got killed while the cleaning took place. Many people use the Doll cleaning as an excuse to-"_

"Blaine!" Kurt gasped and grabbed his jacket, his keys, slipped into his shoes and ran outside, letting the door fall shut. He ran down the steps, tried to get his arms through the sleeves of his jacket, succeeded eventually and pushed his keys into the pockets of his jeans. Outside he ran down the road to the shop, always keeping his eyes open for Blaine, while police car after police car drove past him.

He ran to the shop, inside and called Blaine's name, eyes looking to the left and right but there was no Blaine and the shop was really not that big. Another round through the shop and still no sign of Blaine. His panic began to rise again, taking almost full control over his body, but Kurt shook it off. He needed a clear mind, clear thoughts to find Blaine. With fast steps he approached the checkout, asked the woman if she saw a Doll with brown hair, smoothed down, and dressed pretty handsome with a bow tie.

Of course the woman didn't remember him. No one ever paid enough attention to a Doll. Without another comment he ran out of the shop, down the street and decided to follow the police cars. Kurt ran and ran, his body protesting slowly but he ignored it. Blaine, he needed to find Blaine and take him home, keep him safe. Soon he noticed a crowd of people, police cars surrounding them and guiding Dolls to the cars. There were too many people, far too many to see if Blaine was one of them. He ran faster, right into the crowd and started looking.

Every face got a second of his attention, every face that was not Blaine's. His mouth formed Blaine's name over and over again, but he couldn't find him. He squeezed through the crowd, found his way out of them and waited for his breath to calm down, knowing that Blaine had to be here somewhere. It had only been an hour since the last time he saw him. They were gathering the Dolls together, far too many for Kurt's liking and for a second he was worried that this was not just simple cleaning getting rid of them.

Kurt felt like crying. He wanted to cry and scream but he did not. Focus, he thought, I need to focus. Three hours later, however, he still didn't find Blaine. Kurt was exhausted, sweaty and gross and scared. It was only a 10 minute walk to the shop, 10 minutes in a nice, quiet neighborhood and yet they cleaned also there. Everywhere.

"Calm down, Kurt," he whispered to himself, looking up to the familiar New York traffic and additionally, people still guiding Dolls to cars and buses. He never realized how many Dolls existed. Some old, some young, some simple adults. It was already getting dark, the sky covered in orange and blue and then he heard a gunshot and people yelling, running. Kurt was lost in chaos and heard a second gunshot.

People fell to their knees, hands safe around their heads and Kurt did the same, waiting for a third gunshot but all he heard were people shouting, running, probably cops. He breathed in and out, in and out and then opened his eyes, looked up and felt sick when he noticed three bodies on the ground. They didn't move, no one stopped to pick them up, and none of them looked like Blaine.

Blaine! He stood up, looked around again and tried to see something through the chaos. Nothing, he could see nothing and no one. Only a hand around his arm became the anchor back to reality. He turned his head to his left side, fast, almost painful and found Sebastian.

"Follow me. Don't say a word and hide your face."

Hope replaced his panic and he let Sebastian guide him off the street, to his police car. There was Blaine, sitting on the backseat together with three other Dolls. One of them was Quinn and the other Doll Kurt had never seen before. It didn't matter, Blaine was there, plastic bag on his lap with everything they needed. Kurt started to cry and began to tremble. Everything hurt, exhaustion taking over his body as well and only with Sebastian's help he made it inside the car.

"Put this on," Sebastian hissed, pressed a beanie into Kurt's hands who sobbed, pulled it over his head and down to hide his eyes. The car started, Sebastian pulled off and soon they were driving. It felt like hours, but it was probably only a 15 minute drive. But the way his lungs filled with air, his body relaxed and his bones screaming for some rest, this made it feel like time was going slower and slower. All he thought about was Blaine and home. When Sebastian stopped Kurt dared to pull the beanie up, look outside and notice the building he was living in.

"Make sure to mark Blaine okay? Buy him a necklace or something with your name and address on it, got it?" Sebastian said in his cop voice and Kurt nodded.

"Thank you."

He climbed out of the car, walked around it and opened the door for Blaine. He thanked Sebastian, nodded at Quinn and then climbed out of the car too. As soon as the door was shut Sebastian drove off and they made their way inside. His whole being ached for the safety of his apartment. The only place in the world where he they both could be who they really were, beside their friend's places. Inside, door closed Kurt took Blaine's hand and squeezed it while he finally, finally looked at Blaine. He had no scratch, no bruise, nothing. He looked just the same when he had left their apartment.

"You're okay," he choked out.

"Yes. I was done with shopping and then they came, dragging me off the street. Luckily, Sebastian was there and took care of me."

Kurt nodded, let go of Blaine's hand and watched him walking to the kitchen to take care of the errands. That was all he needed to see. Blaine walking around here and being alive. The sudden wave of exhaustion and relief flooded his body and made his knees wobble. Kurt needed to sit down, needed to breath and stop his tears. He needed to calm down because everything was fine now.

Kurt began to simply function. He took his shoes and jacket off, walked to the living room and slumped down on the couch, hands covering his face when the tears just didn't stop running down his cheeks. Realization was what replaced everything he had felt seconds ago.

Realization about how much Blaine meant to him, how he literally ignored everything around him just to have him back, safe and sound. Realization how much he felt for him, needed him in his life although he was not what Kurt expected. But there was something about Blaine, something hidden inside him, something that made him want to kiss him, hold him.

He had never felt this way before. His heart never hurt so much as it did when he couldn't find Blaine. He never cried so hard about a person not related to him. He never ached for feeling a person close to him as he ached for Blaine.

Kurt sobbed and tried to calm down, but it only happened when Blaine wrapped his arms around Kurt's body and settled down next to him.

"Don't cry. Are you in pain?"

Kurt wanted to laugh, wanted to call Blaine silly because this boy truly didn't understand how much he meant to Kurt. How could he? Kurt never said it, never even admitted it to himself and now it all just broke inside him and he couldn't hide his feelings anymore. Fuck all the people who said no, fuck all the people who thought he couldn't be with Blaine. Fuck them all, he thought and looked at Blaine, hands resting on his knees.

"I was worried about you. I thought... I'd lost you."

Blaine unwrapped his arms, eyes just staring at Kurt and his mind working with the new information he got. Then he used his sleeve, wiped Kurt's eyes and cheek dry and said: "I'm here. I'm not lost."

Then Blaine did something Kurt never expected from him. His hands cupped Kurt's face, held it gently as he angled his head just right to press his lips against Kurt's. It was nothing like their first kiss. This was Blaine who seemed to know what he was doing and how to do it. This was Blaine, who felt nothing but made Kurt feel so much more. So much that his mind simply stopped working and he let his feelings take the best of him.

With a groan he pulled Blaine closer, needing him closer, as close as possible. Blaine followed his lead, let Kurt pull him on his lap, let Kurt undo his bow tie, open the first two buttons of his shirt and his lips never not pressed against Blaine's.

"Bedroom... my bedroom," Kurt managed to say.

Blaine nodded, climbed of his lap and followed Kurt into his bedroom. Door closed, Kurt pulled Blaine back against his body, lips back on Blaine's and this time he tried to kiss him deeper. Blaine let it happen, he let everything happen that Kurt gave him, but he never made a sound, he never moaned nor whispered. He just took and gave and a little voice screamed in the back of Kurt's mind. A voice Kurt couldn't hear what it was screaming, but it was nothing good. That much he knew.

"I'm... I'm warm," Blaine did gasp between kisses. "I'm warm inside... whenever I'm with you I'm just... warm."

Warm was good, warm was always good, Kurt thought. Warm meant for Blaine, that this was something good and he felt ridiculously happy that he could make Blaine feel warm inside. He wanted to keep him warm, safe, here right next to him in his bed.

"Undress me," Kurt said, when Blaine didn't know what to do with his hands, and a bitter taste filled his mouth. He gave an order, he told Blaine what to do and didn't know if he wanted that. Something he never wanted to do again. But the need to have him close, to have and feel everything Blaine was stronger than any sanity. Blaine obeyed without hesitation.

Soon they were both just in their underwear, falling on the bed and Blaine mumbled how warm he was inside over and over again. Warm was good, warm was good, Kurt repeated it like a mantra in his head.

He had seen Blaine naked before, knew how beautiful he was under those clothes. This time though, without the scratches and bruises, he truly could admire the beauty Blaine was. His strong arms, compact chest, tiny waist, hair a mess – some curls already broke the shield of gel. God, he was so beautiful and yet so empty from the inside. Was it that? The way Blaine looked like? His physical beauty that made him feel so much for this man? Was it truly only that?

No, it couldn't be. Kurt knew it wasn't just that. It was more, hidden somewhere inside Blaine and they just needed to figure it out, right?

"Kiss me, please." Blaine mumbled under him and Kurt obeyed. He kissed him, desperate, deep and settled between his legs, gasping and moaning when he felt how hard Blaine was. His body reacted to this, his body worked like it should be. This was good, Kurt told himself, this was okay. It was okay to be this close and do this with Blaine, he felt warm after all.

"Do you want this? Do you want to do this, Blaine?" He asked although he already knew the answer.

"I... I don't know. I just... I'm warm inside. It's good, I... I _feel_ good, I guess."

Kurt was hard, Kurt was desperate. Kurt wanted to stretch Blaine, be inside him and feel him for as long as possible. He knew he just needed to say it and Blaine would obey. One word, one plea and Blaine would give everything to Kurt. Almost, just almost his mouth let out these words. He swallowed them down, all of them and was ready to climb off of Blaine's body, ready to apologize but Blaine didn't let him.

His eyes found Blaine's. Golden, empty and staring at Kurt in the same way they always did. Not telling him anything. He just stared and stared and Kurt felt like crying again. He wanted to read those eyes, wanted to know what they could tell him, what they looked like when Blaine was truly happy and sad. He wanted this empty book Blaine was to be filled with words and only be read by him.

"_Kurt..._" Blaine breathed and it was different. It was... filled with something. "I want to be warm, please." But that was all. Only his voice changed a bit and everything else remained the same. Empty, lifeless, just functioning.

Did he really want that? Did Blaine know what Kurt wanted? Was he truly okay with this? Kurt, for one, wasn't sure and he wanted to stop but also didn't. More than anything he wanted to be close, he wanted to hold him, kiss him, come with him.

"I want to be warm, Kurt, please."

Kurt gave in. His own arousal, his own need to come winning against his mind, which screamed that he needed to stop, that this was wrong, that Blaine didn't know nor feel if he truly wanted that. But Kurt did, so much and Blaine asked for the warmth. One Kurt apparently gave him.

"Okay," he barely choke out, pressed his hard cock against Blaine's and his lips captured Blaine's. He rolled his hips over and over again, took Blaine's hands and placed them on his shoulders, showing him what he could do.

"Move your hips with mine," he whined. Blaine obeyed. It was good, it was perfect, everything he felt was everything he needed now. His body buzzed, his heart danced, but his mind? His mind screamed stop because this was not the same. This was still different. Blaine didn't moan, didn't whimper, didn't ask for more. He just kissed Kurt back, moved his hips together with Kurt's and when he came, he held his breath and his hands clutched Kurt's shoulder.

Kurt followed him right after, moaning, whining and wrapped his arms around Blaine to keep him close. He felt good, so good and then... he felt sorry. Terribly sorry.

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><p><strong>I literally ache to know what you guys think! Like really! I'm excited and nervous.<strong>


	10. One sided

Hey guys! Sorry for the rather late update. I had a little writers block and my beta was also kind of busy. I'm out of my writers block now so I hope I'll finish chapter 11 today and maybe you can read it tomorrow or on Saturday :)

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><p><em>Oh little ghost, you see the pain<em>  
><em>But together we can make something beautiful,<em>  
><em>So take my hand and perfectly,<em>  
><em>We fill the gaps, you and me make three,<em>  
><em>I was meant for you, and you for me.<em>

_You've always loved the strange birds_  
><em>Now I want to fly into your world<em>  
><em>I want to be heard<em>  
><em>My wounded wings still beating,<em>  
><em>You've always loved the stranger inside…<em>  
><em>Me, ugly pretty.<em>

_Birdy – Strange Birds_

Chapter 10. One sided

Rain was falling on that Sunday morning, falling against the glass of his windows and being the only noise he truly noticed. He imagined that every drop that fell against the glass was like a little stab right into his heart. Kurt was the first of them who woke up and for the first seconds he did feel good.

Blaine was right next to him, breathing against his shoulder and his right hand sprawled over Kurt's chest where his heart was. For that short moment, when Kurt was still half asleep but knew who lay next to him, he just felt happy. He loved to have Blaine close to him, feel his arm around him, his breath falling on his shoulder. He loved how his curls tickled his skin, how warm his body was and how perfectly their bodies fit together.

This moment broke when he noticed the missing heartbeat from Blaine and everything came back. Every memory about what had happened yesterday. How Blaine left him, the cleaning, the desperate search for Blaine. The relief and happiness when he found him through Sebastian's help, the exhaustion when they were back home. Kurt remembered all of that but none of those memories made him feel miserable. Everything that had happened after they were back home... that made him feel sick.

Sick, guilty and... he felt like a monster. Blaine continued sleeping even when Kurt moved his arm to sit up. In this position he could frame his head with his hands and try not to panic. Last night was a huge mistake and something he promised himself would never happen. But he had lost control over himself, over his mind, over his everything.

The moment they walked back into their apartment Kurt had lost himself and gave in to everything he felt. First, Kurt gave in to relieving himself of the terror of the thought of losing Blaine, then the relief of having Blaine safe with him. Second, the physical comfort of having Blaine near and then the sexual desire for Blaine, the need to be close to him and have him close just to make that their reality. Still, his memories were just rushing through his mind, recalling everything that made him feel sick, that made him feel like a monster. Like how he moaned and whimpered and Blaine never really made a sound. How Blaine followed every order Kurt gave him. God, he gave him orders, not just one, but more.

The panic began to rise again, his skin felt cold and he was sure he was pale, almost white. Silently he left the bed, went to his drawer to get a fresh pair of briefs, a t-shit and sweatpants and walked to his bathroom to take a shower. After they both came last night Kurt didn't take one. His body and soul were too exhausted to do anything else but hold Blaine and sleep with him in Kurt's arms.

Inside the bathroom he felt even colder, his skin felt rough, unfamiliar and he hissed when he took his underwear off. There was evidence of what had happened last night and Kurt threw them into the washer before turning on the shower and waited until it was warm. Then he walked under it, a deep sigh falling from his lips when all the water washed off the remains from last night. Still he didn't feel better. Nothing could wash out the voices and memories filling his mind.

He needed to sit down because his knees became suddenly weak and couldn't hold him up anymore. His eyes were burning, filling with tears as he leaned against the wall, slowly slid down and just sat there, water falling on him while his tears fell, one after the other. Although the water was warm and his body most likely clean, he still felt cold and dirty as thought after thought settled in.

Blaine came and hugged him, Blaine was the one who kissed him first and Kurt was sure, he only did that because he considered hugging and kissing as something good. Not because he wanted to do this or because he felt something for Kurt. It was pure logic Blaine had used. Kurt just accepted it, took everything and said to go to the bedroom, pulled Blaine back against him for more and Blaine just took and gave. The fact that he said he felt warm inside whenever he was with Kurt, was an excuse Kurt used for everything that happened after that.

Of course Blaine felt warm, his body still functioned unlike his emotions. A kiss, a hug, they made a person's body warm. So there was no reason to think Kurt was something special. He was the only one who had ever kissed Blaine or held him in the way Kurt did. But he used it as an excuse still, told Blaine to undress him, guided him to the bed and never stopped kissing him.

Warm, only because Blaine said he was warm, only because of the way Blaine spoke his name only once, Kurt lost himself and opened a part of him he didn't know. A part that scared him so much that he couldn't even breath. Yet he stood up, washed his body, his hair and stepped out of the shower. Water shut down he dried himself, put his clothes on and then leaned against the sink, staring at his reflection in the mirror. For the first time in years he didn't know the person he was staring at. He didn't recognize himself. Because Kurt Hummel never forced any person to sex.

Kurt gasped as the thought hit him. He had forced Blaine to it, right? When he asked him if Blaine wanted this Blaine said he didn't know. All he knew was that his body was warm and just because they both thought it was a good thing, who said it was? Just because Blaine said he wanted to be warm over and over again, still, it didn't feel right. It felt wrong, everything felt wrong and Kurt wondered did he... try to rape him? Was this rape?

"Oh god..." he choked out, body trembling before turning around to the toilet to empty his stomach. He gripped the edge of the toilet, threw up for several seconds and then tried to stand up and wash his face and clean his mouth. God, he felt horrible, he felt sick, he felt like a monster. How could he do that? What kind of human being was he who couldn't control his own feelings? Feelings which were so warm and so good but making him do something like this?

"No," Kurt gasped after he was done brushing his teeth. This was not the truth and this was not what happened. He would have never done that to Blaine. He was not a rapist. Blaine didn't know, he was not sure if he wanted that or not. But he was warm, he wanted to be warm and Kurt wanted the same.

The only difference was that Kurt felt it, that he knew. Blaine on the other hand... how could he want something when he didn't feel anything? One last breath in and out and then he decided to talk to Blaine. Maybe then he would feel better. But he needed to talk to him. Nodding to himself he left the bathroom and found Blaine in the kitchen, sitting at the table just in his underwear.

Kurt stared for a while, not sure how he felt because Blaine just looked the same way as always.

"Good morning," Kurt managed to say and Blaine looked up, right at him.

"Good morning, Kurt."

Again, his voice remained the same empty sound, no fear, no need, nothing.

"I need to shower. I always shower after sex."

"Yes... right. Of course," Kurt agreed and watched Blaine leaving the kitchen and entering the bathroom. No smile, no look towards Kurt. Like everything that had happened meant nothing. Of course... for Blaine it didn't. He probably didn't even understand what last night meant to Kurt, because all of those emotions were something a person felt. A Doll did not feel and even if Kurt tried to explain what it meant to him, would it make even sense to Blaine? Because what he needed was logic and Kurt knew emotions did not follow any kind of logic. Otherwise he wouldn't have fallen in love with a Doll because it made no sense at all.

For Kurt, though. For him it meant everything he wanted and was everything he desperately wished to be real.

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><p>After some breakfast that tasted more like paper – because Kurt wasn't exactly hungry – with a cup of coffee in his hands, he and Blaine sat at the kitchen table together, both silent. Blaine read the newspaper while Kurt just stared at him and tried to find the words. Where should he start? What should he ask? Where was this going to end? Then, Kurt reminded himself, that he could have asked anything and Blaine would have answered him without hesitation.<p>

Blaine was pure logic; Kurt was chaos.

"Blaine?"

"Yes?" he reacted and looked up from the newspaper.

"We... need to talk about last night."

"Did I do something wrong?" Blaine asked while he folded the newspaper and placed it on the chair next to him.

Kurt shook his head. "No. I'm just trying to understand what happened."

It was not a lie. Not at all. Kurt truly didn't understand what happened but only that it made him feel sick and like the worst human being on this world. When he thought back to the time where he lived without a Doll, never even considered buying one in the future, he almost wished this time back. A time where everything had rules and was clearer for him. A time where two people could feel something and knew what they wanted. Blaine wanted, too, but his want was different.

"Why... why did you hug me and kiss me?" Kurt finally asked.

"Because hugs are good. I've learned that they make a person feel happy and safe. A kiss makes a person feel good too, and not alone. I know crying is a bad thing, no one should cry. That's why I did it."

It was the answer Kurt expected. He had been ready to hear those exact words, but he wasn't ready to feel the disappointment and desperate wish that it would have been different. He ran a hand through his hair, closed his eyes for some moments.

"I thought it was okay since we already kissed." Blaine said before Kurt could even ask.

"I'm not angry. I'm just... sorry."

"Sorry for what?"

He felt sorry for giving Blaine orders, for not stopping when his mind screamed to stop, sorry that he lost control over himself and let his feelings win. He felt sorry for doing something Blaine didn't understand and maybe didn't even want to do. If Blaine had feelings, if he could feel anything, Kurt wouldn't have felt so terrible. Because then he would have been certain that Blaine wanted what had happened.

"That I... forced you to... sex."

"I said I wanted it, didn't I?"

"You did but... Blaine, I told you what to do I... I gave you orders and I promised myself I'd never do that again. I don't want to treat you like any other person does."

Blaine was silent for a while then spoke.

"I gave you orders too, didn't I? I told you to kiss me."

That was right, Blaine did ask for more kisses because when Kurt kissed him he felt warm. He wanted to feel warm, Kurt remembered that. Want... what was this want exactly?

"I kissed you because I wanted to kiss you. Want is a feeling, Blaine. I knew I wanted it but you... how could you know what you wanted? You don't feel want or anything at all."

Kurt still expected to see something change on Blaine's face. Hurt or anger, because he obviously said something that would have hurt any other person. The emotions never showed and, even though that should have made it easier, Kurt felt like he couldn't handle them. He could have said many things to Blaine, good and bad things and Blaine would never feel anything while hearing them. All he would have done was say yes or no, black and white, logic or not.

"It's true, I don't feel. I feel nothing beside physical things or the inner coldness and warmth. That's all I have and all I focus on."

Then Blaine smiled and Kurt felt like he was waking up from a nightmare. His thoughts stopped screaming, the miserable feeling was washed away by something warm and bright and his skin began to feel soft. His whole body began to feel like a place he could live in only because Blaine smiled. It was not even a special smile, not different from any other, but Blaine smiled – still a bit awkward but he decided to smile because smiling was a good thing.

"How do you know what... you want?" Kurt asked.

"Quinn explained to me that whenever we feel warm it's a good sign. Whenever we feel warm inside it's something we want. We may not feel want but we have the coldness and warmth inside of us. It's the only feeling we have, only this and nothing more."

Kurt realized how much Blaine had changed and learned. How much he had learned through the Dolls who lived with George and Rose but also how little Blaine had told him about that. Which was not a bad thing, not at all. Kurt decided to not ask, to let the honey-eyed man be, because he wanted Blaine to be his own person and whenever he decided to do something or whenever he spoke to someone, Kurt didn't want to be the over caring friend, always having an eye on him. He knew Rose and George where good people as were their Dolls.

Still it didn't change the fact that this was not what he wanted nor something he was comfortable with. Just because Blaine felt warm didn't mean he wanted to kiss or hug or have sex with him. Blaine could have felt warm around any person and then what? Kiss them too? Kurt didn't want that... he wanted something else.

"It's like... an instinct. And you make me feel warm, Kurt. The closer we got the warmer I felt. So I think I wanted more. It was good because it made me so warm inside."

Of course, Blaine thought but didn't know. Blaine only calculated how warm he was inside and then labeled it as something good or bad. That was... so not what Kurt wanted or needed and something he wasn't sure he could deal with.

"I'm the only person who ever has kissed you, Blaine. I'm the first person who treats you like a human being. Of course you feel warm and want more. Like you said, hugging and kissing is a good thing. But, this is not... what I want." Kurt admitted and it hurt to think about. That someone else could kiss Blaine or hug him and Blaine would just ask for more. From someone who was not Kurt.

"What do you want?" Blaine asked.

Silence filled the apartment and Kurt felt the words in his mouth, on his tongue, but pressed his lips together. He couldn't say it because Blaine would look this word up, understand it and consider it as something good and agree on it. He couldn't say he wanted them to be more than just friends. If he said he wanted Blaine to be his boyfriend it was not just giving Blaine a new idea, but it was also Kurt opening his heart.

A heart needed love, empathy, sympathy, happiness. His heart needed all of this and Blaine couldn't give him that. All Blaine could give was 'right' and 'wrong' and nothing in between. Love, Kurt remembered, Blaine didn't understand that and couldn't give him that. No, he maybe didn't love Blaine because 'love' was a big word.

Yet, something was just pulling him closer to this empty man.

"You know, when Duncan slept with me I never felt warm. I always felt cold, very cold. Each touch from him made me feel cold."

Kurt looked up, watching Blaine standing up and walking over to him with his hand raised, aiming for his chest where his heart began to beat like crazy again. He didn't stop Blaine, he let him come closer, let him place his hand on his chest to feel for his heartbeat because it was probably something fascinating for Blaine, while it was totally normal for Kurt.

"You said I'm special to you and we kissed and yesterday we did more than that. I wanted that, Kurt. You make me feel warm and no one else ever made me feel warm. Not like you do."

Blaine spoke and his eyes never looked into Kurt's but remained on his chest. He tried to listen to the words, but their meaning didn't fit with Blaine's voice. All he wanted was to hear the feeling, the meaning and not just the words. He wanted this so desperately but understood that it would never happen and he had to be fine with what he got. He had to accept this and expect nothing more.

That Blaine spoke about how he felt something and how he wanted something, that was also unexpected. Which didn't change what it truly was. Blaine's logic, the Doll logic.

"I feel your heart, Kurt. I feel how fast it beats and I know what that means. I did my research about love and, although it was complicated and I didn't understand everything, I know that when a person likes another person, their hearts beats faster. But it doesn't have to be something like love. It can also be a panic attack or fear. But it makes no sense to kiss me when you feel panic or fear, right?"

"No, it doesn't."

Kurt wanted to tell him that is was pointless to become more than just friends. That, he was sure the closer they got the more he would become unhappy. Blaine couldn't give him passion, heart-eyes, or smiles from his heart. He couldn't cry with him, feel with him and show him all the romantic things Kurt ached for. He had always been a hopeless romantic and even when he stopped to dream about it, that didn't mean he forgot it. He put those wishes on hiatus until he found more time to dream about them again. Until he found the right person.

Here was this person, doing things to him he had only dreamed about so many years ago. The person who made his heart beat faster, who's kisses made him feel drunk, who's body fit so perfectly against his. But this person was entirely empty and Kurt would always question if Blaine wanted this. If Blaine was okay with kisses, if he truly liked Kurt. Blaine would never be able to respond like a person who was actually in love. Like a person who felt something.

"_Kurt?_"

Yet, he said his name like no one else did before. Blaine couldn't feel yet was able to say his name in a way that made Kurt weak and pull Blaine closer to kiss him silly.

"I want us to be close," he blurted it out and couldn't take it back. "But I... I want this to be just... us. I don't want to label this. I just want us to be close because it makes me happy." Kurt added because he couldn't say it. Them being boyfriends, he couldn't do that. He needed time, needed to figure this out and see if something could change. Maybe being close, making Blaine warm would change something. A positive change because who knew? No one ever loved a Doll, right?

"I want us to be close, too." Blaine said and it was clear what he meant. Kurt wanted to love and be loved. Blaine wanted to be warm and do what made Kurt happy and kept Blaine here.

He could deal with that. Kurt had to deal with that because nothing hurt more than the thought of Blaine not being here with him.

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><p><strong>Big, big thanks for Alyssa and let me know what you think or want to happen or wish to read about! The next chapter will be about them being physically close and how they bothe, especially Kurt, handle that. So, questions, suggestions, anything is welcomed!<strong>


	11. Child

**Hey guys! sorry for the late update! My beta was very busy but we found a schedule now and see if it'll work out :) we try to make this fic as enjoyable as possible!**

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><p>Chapter 11. Child<p>

Kurt did feel a bit better after their talk but of course nothing really changed that day. Blaine still sat on the couch, reading a book while Kurt made some calls. George was the first person he called to make sure Quinn was okay. She was, and when Kurt asked why she was even outside during the cleaning George explained that she was also out to buy some things. Then he called Sebastian to thank him again and his friend reminded him to mark Blaine. He texted Elliott and Mercedes to come over for dinner the next day and then fell on his couch, turning the TV on and not really paying attention to it.

His eyes were focused on Blaine who read in silence. The thought of taking the book away and asking Blaine if he wanted to cuddle was tempting. Yet, he didn't ask for it nor moved closer. He hoped Blaine would make the first move and - even if he just acted and used logic – want it, too. Kurt admitted that being close to Blaine made him happy and Blaine said he wanted them to be close, too. So, Kurt decided to wait.

"Kurt?"

"Yes?"

"Can we cuddle now?"

"Um... yeah. Sure."

Blaine closed his book and looked at Kurt.

"You need to show me what is okay and how to do it." Blaine explained as he moved closer.

"Of course, yeah," Kurt mumbled and sat up, opening his arms slowly. "Just rest your head on my chest and your... your arms around me."

Blaine did that, slowly crawling between Kurt's legs and into his arms without a smile on his lips or shine in his eyes. Yet, when he rested his head on Kurt's chest and wrapped his arms carefully around Kurt's body, he was warm and soft against Kurt. He just felt so perfect where he was and Kurt wondered if maybe that was it. The way Blaine just fit into his life and against his body, the way he felt and breathed, smelled and responded with just his body.

It made Kurt forget all his worries, all his fears because he wanted to live in this moment. Enjoy this moment.

"Are you warm?" Kurt asked and let his fingers run through Blaine's hair, free from gel like every Sunday.

"Yes. Are you happy?" Blaine asked and Kurt leaned back, smiling to himself as he answered.

"Very."

* * *

><p>"I'm so sorry, mister Hummel. She's like a hurricane." Annie apologized when Kurt just stood in the hallway, Blaine next to him and watching mother and daughter, rather mother holding her daughter around the waist and against her hip. Annie Olson was a beautiful young woman, only 27 years old and held her daughter, Molly, just 5 years old, with one arm while the little girl tried to wiggle out of her grip.<p>

Kurt smiled, not even a fake smile like he always used in front of so many clients. This smile was honest, amused. Watching mother and daughter trying to have their own way was totally adorable. He never had much to do with kids, it was not exactly part of his work but he thought that this view was just heartwarming and reminded him of his mother and himself when he was younger. Just a child learning to walk and talk, learning how to say please and thank you and always clutching his mother's hand because he loved feeling her soft skin and warmth.

Blaine stood next to him watching mother and daughter still arguing in a playful way. Although anyone could have seen how frustrated Annie looked.

"Molly, come on. Mister Hummel is hear to create a new dress for you."

"He is?"

The little girl with blond hair and brown eyes – just like her mother – stopped wiggling and stared at Kurt. Annie let her down, fixing the blue dress Molly wore and sighed, one of those heavy sighs when all the pressure fell from a persons shoulder.

"You make dresses?"

"I do," he smiled at the little girl.

"And who is this?" Molly asked and pointed at Blaine.

"This is Blaine, my Doll. But I like to say he is my friend."

The warm and huge smile on Annie's face was enough for Kurt to understand that she was also one of those people, who saw Dolls as human beings. It was a little tip George and Rose gave him; introducing your Doll as your friend was accepted and the best way to find out what the person before you thinks about Dolls. Annie's smile told him everything.

"Hello Blaine, you can call me Annie and so can mister Hummel."

"Nice to meet you, Annie," Blaine greeted her, a smile on his lips followed by a handshake which surprised the young mother. Her brown eyes found Kurt's as her blond hair fell over her shoulder.

"He has a good life. I teach him to be more human."

"Aw, that's really nice of you, mister Hummel."

"Kurt's fine."

Annie nodded slowly and then gasped, looking around the huge, yellow hallway.

"Right! Silly me, I forgot. Please, follow me to the guestroom."

Kurt nodded and together with Blaine they followed her down the right side of the hallway to the guestroom. It was nothing special, not really, but it was warm and felt like a real home. Kurt had seen so many houses, mansions, buildings in which rich people lived in and nothing could really surprise him. It was just another huge house, with yellow walls and orange ceiling, the floor dark brown stone and furniture in light brown. Annie did fit into this place because her whole appearance made a person happy.

She seemed so down to earth and a little unsure about this life and Kurt was honestly curious about getting to know her.

"He has weird eyes though," Molly said when Kurt and Blaine sat down at the table. She was sitting next to Blaine, staring at him since the moment she had noticed him. "They are empty. Mommy, why are his eyes so empty?"

"Molly! You don't ask stuff like that. It's not nice," Annie warned her, putting a cardigan on and covering most of her brown dress.

"But I don't understand." Molly protested and Annie gave Kurt an apologetic look.

"It's okay. I guess she never met a Doll before?"

"No," Annie answered and took her daughter into her arms, walking around the table to sit next to Kurt while the little girl kept her arms around her mother's neck, eyes still focused on Blaine who didn't look up. "We used to live in a small town and Dolls just weren't a part of our town. I mean, I've seen Dolls but Molly never did. Anyway, thanks for coming and like I said over the phone, all of this is pretty new to me so... I'm not sure how all of this 'being rich' stuff works. Or dress codes or whatever. I'm just a single mom, former waitress."

Kurt smiled- this explained some stuff about Annie. Not everything but he understood why she seemed so down to earth. Waitresses usually didn't make much money and on top of that, she was also a single mother.

"Don't worry, Annie. I know how scary it is. I used to be, well, not poor but I wasn't rich either. Now I'm here and we'll figure this out together, alright?" Kurt suggested, unable to resist offering his help. Usually he didn't do that. He focused on his job and only that. But Annie liked Dolls, saw them as friends too and was just so lovely and nice but also oh so lost. He needed to help her, even if just a little bit. Also, it didn't hurt to make more friends who weren't against Dolls or treated them like they were objects.

"Whenever I meet with a new client we get to know each other. I like to know who I'm working with but also for my client to know a little about me. Which doesn't mean we'll spill all our secrets and become BFFs. It's also important for my work, you know? I like to create something that fits your eyes and hair and body, but also your personality."

Annie seemed pleasantly surprised and nodded slowly while standing up, Molly still in her arms.

"I'd like that. I'll just take Molly to her room and then we can talk."

"Can Blaine come with me?" Molly asked before Annie even left the table.

"Um..." her mother responded and looked from Blaine to Kurt.

"Would you be okay with that?" Kurt asked Blaine and he nodded his answer.

"Alright. Just follow us, okay?"

"Okay." Blaine said and rose from his seat to follow them.

Kurt, glad for the little moment alone, watched them leave and sighed when he was all alone in the guestroom. He had no doubt that Blaine was going to get along with the little girl. They taught him this too at the Doll school. No, his mind was busy with other things, like the previous evening when they were cuddling and he got two hours to just feel Blaine against him and under his fingers. It was not about getting off, nothing was desperate, just a quiet moment of them watching something. Well, Blaine watching something while Kurt let his hand run over Blaine's back and felt the muscles moving, back rising and falling from his breathing.

It was still weird to not feel a heartbeat, weird to never hear him laugh or make any kind of noise when something funny or shocking happened on TV. But in that moment Kurt didn't care. All he was focused on was the warmth of Blaine's body, the feel of his muscles and skin when he let his fingers run over his arm. God, he felt so happy and so at peace when they just lay there and did nothing but stay close.

Then, like every evening, Blaine sat at his keyboard and played the same song again, singing it quietly into the living room and Kurt sat next to him, watched Blaine and sometimes sang with him when he felt like it. Every evening Blaine sang and every evening Kurt asked the same question, "do you remember who sang it to you?" Blaine's answer was always, "no."

When he went to sleep and lay in his bed he missed Blaine's warmth terribly although he was just on the other side of the apartment. Kurt didn't go to him or ask him to sleep in Kurt's bed. He wasn't trusting himself and his need for being close and he knew, he was not ready for that.

Now he was here and smiled when Annie came back. She smiled at him, too, and sat down next to him.

"I need to ask you this since you have a Doll... I mean, I know people treat them bad but... you're not like that, right?"

"Oh no. I'm not like that."

"Yet you have one?"

"Um... I do. But it was more about getting Blaine out of a pretty bad place and now he lives with me. I honestly do not support the hatred or the Doll company. I consider Dolls as human beings."

"Good," Annie smiled, warm and earnestly happy. "When I moved to New York I was... shocked to see how rude some people were to their Dolls. Not that I don't know, but it was still... you know."

"I know," Kurt sighed. "But I know people who care. Anyway, tell me about yourself."

He really didn't know her well enough to spill all his beans and luckily she got the hint and told him her story. Annie had three sisters, all older than she was and they never had much money but enough to not worry about life. She grew up in a small town, in the middle of the US and when she turned 20, her father became rich. They were working together in the same restaurant when her father had won some cooking competition and people wanted more and more of his food.

At that time, Annie admitted to Kurt, she had a boyfriend and was head over heels in love with him, but her family never liked him. Which led to a major fight and while her family moved to New York she never left her hometown. Two years later she became pregnant and her boyfriend left her because he was not ready to become a father. Since then it was only her and Molly, doing everything to keep her daughter and herself alive.

"Then my father's lawyer called me and told me that he died and that I inherited everything my father owned. My sisters got nothing just like my mother. I figured that they were all after my father's money and he knew it so he made sure I got everything. At first I didn't want the money but after reading his letter for me, which he wrote before he died, I understood why and, to be honest, I was happy. Molly and I had literally nothing and now we have everything. But, even after two years it's still crazy... I mean I can cook, I know how my father cooked but I own this company now, which is awesome and I love working there. But I also have to attend some events, like, charity events, cooking events, business too, and I just need something nice and unique. Just to... make it right, you know?"

"I totally understand what you're saying," Kurt assured her. He told her a little about himself and his life and then they talked about the events Annie had to attend for her company. She was not really into fashion, she never had time for that so Kurt calmed her down and tried to convince her to trust him. She did; he could tell by her look. They talked about their schedules, how Kurt preferred to work and agreed to meet each other three times a week. Monday, Thursday and Friday. Then it was time for Kurt to go and he followed her to Molly's room.

The view was more than adorable. Molly was sitting on Blaine's lap while he read to her and something inside Kurt twisted in a pleasant way.

"Molly? Blaine needs to go now," Annie said after knocking against the door frame. Blaine closed the book and Molly jumped off his lap, pouting at her mother.

"But why!? He is a good reader! And he does everything I say."

Kurt tried not to snap nor be angry because this was a little girl, obviously not understanding what Dolls were. Yet, when Blaine stood next to him he reached out for his hand, holding it and hiding their joined hands between their bodies. Blaine's hand was warm and soft and responding, something he had learned through the books, Kurt thought.

"They'll come again, Molly. Okay?"

"Okay..." she groaned and her mother kissed her forehead and picked her up into her arms. "And you know what, mommy?"

"What?" Annie smiled, wide and warm because her daughter made a little gasping sound.

"He is really beautiful! Although his eyes are weird."

"Aww, he is, isn't he?" Annie cooed and Kurt looked behind himself, meeting Blaine's eyes. No shine, no smile but god yes, he was beautiful.

* * *

><p>For the next month Kurt found a new routine in his life. Monday, Thursday and Friday are for Annie, Tuesday for George and Rose and Wednesday was his free day. Weekends were for his friends or some fashion shows. Usually this was the case but Kurt was so fascinated and addicted to cuddling with Blaine that he didn't attend any of the shows. It was not like he had to be part of every fashion event and, to be frank, he didn't like all this being public stuff that much, especially not since Blaine became a part of his life. He also bought Blaine a necklace with Kurt's name and address on it, just in case that cleaning thing happened again. It made him feel weird and not exactly good about himself, but he knew this necklace was necessary.<p>

He didn't feel bad about taking it easy this year. He was going to turn 27 years old in May and in the past 7 years he had done nothing but work to be where he was today. A year of silence instead of flights from Japan to America and from America to Europe and back wouldn't hurt his career. In fact, he could use this time to gather ideas, inspiration. But he knew those thoughts were only excuses to actually spend more time with Blaine and figure out what was behind this Doll Company and the Dolls in general.

No, he just wanted to get to know Blaine. Well, mostly he wanted to get to know Blaine and see how all of this worked out. Plus, more free time meant more time to figure out what was behind the Doll Company. Not that Kurt wanted to become some activist and hold speeches or be seen in public while doing that. His friend was working for the company and he wanted to be available if Hunter and Sebastian needed him.

"Good morning," Kurt greeted Blaine with a kiss on his cheek three weeks later. He only did that because he felt comfortable enough to do so, but also like he could handle this. In the past three weeks he only cuddled with Blaine on the couch, talked about his work or Blaine's books. Cuddling was okay, he could handle that. He wanted more, of course he wanted more. He wanted to go back to the kissing and touching. Kurt wanted to connect with Blaine and he wondered if it was even possible.

That's why after three weeks he decided to take a step further.

"Good morning, Kurt," Blaine said and watched Kurt while he poured coffee into his cup.

"Something's wrong?" Kurt asked when he noticed Blaine staring at him. He leaned against the counter, still in his pajamas and sipping his coffee slowly. Blaine also still wore his pajamas which made Kurt feel happy. It was easier for Blaine to get used to his new life than Kurt thought.

"I think you're beautiful," Blaine said and Kurt choked on his coffee. He wiped his mouth clean, felt his cheeks turn pink and his heart pump faster. Did he just hear right?

"You're okay? Did I say something wrong?"

"No... no you... no. It's a nice... thing to say."

"Good. Do I get another kiss now?"

Kurt was more than confused about where this was going and coming from. Pushing himself off the counter he sat down next to Blaine and gave him a confused look. Of course he wanted to kiss him, he wanted more than just one kiss.

"Blaine, I... don't understand where this is coming from. We talked about kisses, right?"

"Your kisses make me warm inside. When we cuddle I'm warm, too. But your kisses make me even warmer. When Mercedes kisses my cheek I'm not that warm from the inside. Not like when you do it."

So there was a difference, Kurt thought and couldn't help but feel special when Blaine explained how warm he was around Kurt compared to another person. But that was all; Blaine felt different degrees of warmth inside him and that was all.

"Do you like me, Blaine?" Kurt asked because he needed to know.

Blaine shrugged and explained.

"I know you like me. I know and understand that I have a good life here and I know that the way you make me warm is something I should keep close. And I want to learn, Kurt. I want to learn how to feel something or at least pretend until it seems real."

Kurt said nothing for a while, thinking about what Blaine said. Blaine's logic was if he felt warm inside it was a good thing and he should want more of it. If Blaine felt cold or physical pain, he knew it was a bad thing and he said no to whatever the reason was. That was how things began but now Blaine changed.

The way Blaine had changed since the day he started living with Kurt was obvious. He smiled more, he laughed more, he watched and read and copied what made sense for him. It was not real, not at all, but it was at least something. Kurt did realize that this was probably all he could get, but he was also determined to see if there was more.

Maybe – although he told himself it was pointless to hope – Blaine could feel something if he experienced the oldest and strongest connection between two people. Love. After all, Blaine did say his name in this... different way not once but twice. The night when they were kissing and half naked in Kurt's bed and the day after, when Blaine felt Kurt's heart beating fast.

"We said we want to be close to each other." Kurt spoke out loud.

"I've even watched kissing videos and porn to do it right." Blaine said like it was no big deal. Kurt stared, gasped and then snorted because he couldn't help himself. It was not exactly funny what Blaine just admitted – although for Blaine it was just stating a fact rather than admitting something – but knowing that he did that just to know how to do it right so Kurt was happy and satisfied. It was heartwarming.

"Oh my god."

"I did not watch rough porn or anything. I Googled the right kind of sex just in case you might want us to have sex."

Kurt wanted so much and to try so many things with Blaine but he still felt the guilt twisting inside him, although Blaine did say he wanted them to be close. Blaine was not a kid, he was not stupid and he knew what was right or wrong. Kurt knew that and he remembered how he told and promised Blaine to treat him like a human being. Like a friend. This included not only to not give him orders, punish him or yell at him. It included also to give Blaine his freedom, listen to him, help him and trust him.

Kurt wanted to trust him. He placed his cup down on the table and took both of Blaine's hands into his, smiling at him while his heart began to beat faster and faster and then leaned closer, pressing his lips gently against Blaine's as both closed their eyes. How he managed to not kiss him for so long was unexplainable to Kurt, but god did he enjoy kissing him. Warm, soft lips always so careful and yet exploring. Blaine did not just give into the kiss, he learned how to kiss Kurt in such a gentle way that made Kurt actually weak.

How his hand rested on Kurt's cheek, wandered further behind his ear and made Kurt gasp. How Blaine's other hand rested right above his heart to feel the beating, to make sure everything was okay. Then, how Blaine tilted his head, kissed him better, deeper even and Kurt almost moaned, signaling through a sharp breath through his nose that this was good, so good that he almost couldn't breath.

Still Kurt broke the kiss, deciding to take it slow and let Blaine process what just had happened, like he always did. Whenever Blaine read something or saw something he became quiet, needed his own time to think, analyze and learn.

"Was this okay?" Blaine asked.

"Very okay."

* * *

><p>That kiss was not their last kiss during their lazy Sunday. After lunch, when both sat in the living room to watch something, Blaine asked Kurt if they could do more. More kissing and more cuddling. The answer was, yes of course. No was not even an option for Kurt, but 'no sex' was and Blaine agreed. That was what he needed; boundaries and guidance because otherwise Blaine would just do everything he knew because he considered it as something good.<p>

Kurt had his boundaries and guidance, Blaine his logic and Kurt learned to use that logic to make it easier for him and for Blaine.

The next week Kurt was probably the happiest he had ever been. Each day with Annie and Molly was beautiful, filled with laughter and sharing stories. Molly enjoyed spending time with Blaine and play tea parties with him or dressing up her dolls. Annie and Kurt enjoyed the view but also each others company. He told her everything she needed to know about attending public events with press and cameras, what to say and what not, how to smile and stand – although she had her own team who helped her, Kurt's advice meant a lot to her.

Whenever Kurt was done with work and back in their apartment they would eat some light dinner and make out for an hour or two in the most gentle way possible. It was a process of exploring each other and getting to know each other. Yet he lost himself in all the kisses and cuddles. He felt good, amazing and Blaine became more and more, well, human with each passing day because he was a quick learner.

Soon he figured out where to kiss Kurt or how to kiss to make him dizzy and whimper, even moan, and hard. So hard he needed to stop when it became too much. Blaine probably felt the same way but Kurt wasn't sure, he never dared to look down and see it for himself. This was not about sex but about two people sharing lovely gestures. Kurt didn't want to think that he was loving Blaine. He wasn't ready to love.

* * *

><p>It was a rainy April evening when Kurt talked with Sebastian over the phone, while Blaine played the keyboard and silently sang the same song since December.<p>

"Hey, calm down Seb. I understand how frustrating this must be for you." Kurt tried to calm him down.

"It's been two weeks now, Kurt. Two fucking weeks and he doesn't call me nor does he text me. He is living in a room inside the company, like what!?"

Kurt bit his lip and felt his own worry rising. Hunter told them that he met someone and that this person was also against the company but working for them, said he'd stay inside the company because they had rooms for their employees. That was also the last thing they all heard from Hunter before he disappeared and didn't call anyone.

"I'm going there, yes. I'm going to the fucking company and dragging his lazy ass out of there," Sebastian began to ramble and Kurt rubbed his forehead.

"You're not going there, Sebastian. You're too smart to do anything stupid. But if you don't know what to do, you know that you can always come here. Or to Elliott, or Mercedes."

"I'm really not in the mood to see you throwing heart eyes at Blaine."

"I do not. Don't be ridiculous."

Sebastian huffed a laugh and Kurt did feel a bit better hearing his friend cheering up, but he didn't like how easy it was for his friends to read him. Or maybe Sebastian was just joking.

"Whatever, up for some drinks and dancing this weekend? I need to get out of here or I'll never stop fucking crying."

"Sure," Kurt said. "You know I'd hold you and make you feel better with-"

"Hey, no. I know you're all sweet and caring and I don't need sweet and gentle, okay? I need a drink or ten and a fucking break."

Kurt sighed and looked over to Blaine from his spot on the couch. He would have done the same thing if Blaine was suddenly gone. Just like Sebastian Kurt would go crazy, cry, look for him if he had no idea where he was. Eventually he would go out, drink everything away although he knew it was a stupid decision. Fortunately, Blaine was here and not somewhere else.

He listened to Sebastian for another half hour, able to calm him down a little bit and ended the call when Sebastian said he needed some sleep. He sent a text to Elliott and Mercedes, telling them they needed to meet and come up with something to make sure Hunter was okay. Kurt also made a mental note to call George and ask him if he knew something or if he had any idea what they could do.

It was not the right time to freak out or worry too much. Hunter was smart, a cop and knew how to deal with trouble or stay out of it. He was sure that either Hunter was busy or found something out.

"Kurt?" Blaine's voice snapped him out of his thoughts. Kurt turned to his left side where Blaine stood, reaching out for his hand just to feel him. No, he would go equally crazy if Blaine suddenly disappeared and this told him a lot about how he felt.

"Do you want to sleep in my bed tonight? We could cuddle."

"Sure. You're okay?" Blaine asked and managed to make a worried look but it was gone before it was truly seen.

"I just... feel kind of alone."

"You're not alone, Kurt," Blaine said and leaned down, pressing a light kiss against Kurt's lips. "You have me. I'd do anything for you."

Instead of questioning what Blaine just said, instead of worrying, he did what he decided to do a long time ago; trust Blaine.

"I know. I'd do the same for you."

* * *

><p><strong>Next chapter we'll get closer to the secret ;) and thank you all for your amazing support! It means so much to me and idk why I got so lucky! Never stop because you guys are the greatest inspiration I can get.<strong>


	12. Changes

**So, this is not the usual beta version (my beta's computer isn't working so another friend of mine took a quick look over it). Now, as promised we get closer to the secret :)**

* * *

><p>Chapter 12. Changes<p>

Kurt expected to freak out when he woke up. Not because of Blaine sleeping in his arms, his back pressed closely to Kurt's chest, but because of the missing heartbeat. But then his sleepy mind woke up, too, and told him why there was no heartbeat. Instead Kurt focused on other things that were just Blaine. Like the way he smelled, raspberry and coffee. The way he felt, solid and soft and so warm. Arms strong, waist tiny, fingers long, hands big. His curls, dark and thick, free from gel and tickling his cheek or neck.

It was surprising even to Kurt how much attention he paid to Blaine's body. How much he wanted to know and remember. But beside all of this he just loved to share a bed with Blaine, holding him or being held. Kurt loved to cuddle and he did cuddle with many people, but with Blaine, cuddling took on a completely new meaning and feeling.

Whatever this feeling was it made him smile and seek for more. That's why Kurt held him a bit tighter, pressing his lips to the back of Blaine's neck but keeping his hips and half hard cock away from Blaine's body. Blaine had watched porn, Blaine understood sex and Kurt was not going to let that happen. Not again. He was not ready for that and it didn't even have to happen. This, just being together and kissing him, was enough for Kurt.

Kurt closed his eyes, ready to fall back to sleep, when Blaine moved and turned around in Kurt's arms to face him. Kurt kept his eyes closed and listened without moving, curious about Blaine's next move. Would Blaine kiss him? Lay with him for a while longer or get up and prepare breakfast? Blaine didn't leave and Kurt felt his hand moving and resting on his chest.

That was all he did and Kurt slowly opened his eyes to meet Blaine's. It had taken him a while but eventually he thought that Blaine's eyes were beautiful even without the light eyes usually had. They were beautiful in their own special way.

"Morning," Kurt smiled, his hand resting on Blaine's.

"Good morning," Blaine said back and closed the gap between their lips to kiss Kurt.

He loved kissing Blaine. Loved feeling him so close and his soft, warm lips against his own. It made his whole body buzz and awoke the need for more than just kisses. But this was too good to stop. A lazy, deep kiss without any hesitation or rush. Just them chasing what they felt and keeping it alive. However, when they stopped kissing Kurt felt something he couldn't get used to.

He knew his cheeks were burning, shining in a beautiful pink. His eyes were glistening, probably even dark and his lips formed into a soft smile. Blaine just looked at him in the same empty way he usually did. Then he smiled because he remembered to do so and not because he felt it.

That bothered Kurt a lot, but he told himself to wait until he got used to this. Until something changed within Blaine. If Blaine showing any real emotion was something that could happen at all.

An hour, and some more kisses and cuddles later, they left the bed and Kurt felt like he was on cloud nine. He smiled all the time, when he showered, ate breakfast together with Blaine and even when he drove to meet Annie and Molly.

"Hey guys!" Annie beamed after she opened the door for them and Molly jumped right into Blaine's arms, demanding it was time for their Disney movie. Kurt just watched them leave and joined Annie in the living room.

"I'll never get used to this. All these events with these rich people," Annie groaned after a while, when Kurt stood behind her, fumbling with the blue fabric on her shoulders. "I mean, some of them are nice but many just... ugh. It's like money is all that matters and how big their house is and how expensive their car was. It drives me insane."

Kurt snorted through his nose, taking the needle out from between his lips and started to sew.

"Don't worry about them. After a while you just learn to fake a smile and ignore them. It took me a while too, but eventually I figured it out."

"How though?" Annie asked.

"Give it time, Annie. Don't worry about them, really. Just be polite and keep the people you trust close to you."

"But that's exactly it. I don't know who to trust, Kurt."

He stopped what he was doing and raised his eyebrows. Of course, she had literally no one but her daughter and maybe some friends she could trust. Her father died and left her everything, money and several restaurants, plus a school to teach cooking. Annie was an amazing cook. They had been working together for a month now and he got the chance to taste her cakes and meals and they all tasted beyond delicious. That was probably all she wanted to do, keep her father's business alive and cook. Annie was a lot like him he figured. All Kurt wanted to do was create unique clothes and if he could he would say no to every person who was rich and rude. But he couldn't, not yet.

"Maybe we can sit down and talk? I feel how tense you are and I don't want to work while you feel uncomfortable." Kurt suggested.

"I'd love to, really."

Kurt left the room while she changed her clothes and walked back inside when she called for him. He made quick business of hanging the dresses up on the clothes rail and joined Annie on the couch, only then seeing how exhausted and worried she was.

"So, you don't know who to trust?" Kurt began when he noticed how Annie had troubles finding the right words.

"Yes. Everyday, and at every event, tons of people talk to me, call me and suggest whatever offer they have or idea to work with me. I'm not stupid, I know some just want my money so I try to be polite when I say no without making them upset. I trust my gut but it's not that easy with so many people wanting something from me. I only have Molly and the people who worked for my dad and who now work for me."

"What about your manager or PR team?"

"I fired them. They are against Dolls and I don't want those people around me. So now I sit here with so much stuff to deal with and so many people suggesting me help but... none of them make me feel comfortable. Only you. You're like the only person who knows this business and doesn't treat Dolls like they are monsters."

Kurt almost blushed, only almost, but he still felt honored and happy to hear that. He never wanted people to feel uncomfortable around him, especially not the people he cared about. Annie was one of the people he cared about.

"And I know I need someone who can take care of all the paperwork and public image and relations. Only... I don't know where to go or who to ask."

Kurt nodded and noticed how her eyes filled with tears. No wonder, all of this was to much for only one person. He knew all about people wanting something, people spreading false information, eyes everywhere watching your next step. He remembered how overwhelming it had been for him when he suddenly became famous.

Luckily he already knew Sebastian and Hunter, who knew other people and that's how he found his amazing manager and PR team.

"I'll help you, Annie. Don't worry about that, okay?"

"Really?" she gasped and eventually the tears began to fall. Kurt nodded, smiling, and then pulled her gently into his arms to give her comfort. He just let her cry and held her until she stopped and said a 'thank you' with her voice rough from the crying.

"I'll call my team today and see if they can help you. I don't know how many clients they have, but I can assure you they'll do what you want and they are not against Dolls. I'm the same, you know? I can't chose all my clients but I can decide who my friends are and who works for me."

"Thank you," Annie smiled. "It's good to know that there are more people like you and me."

"Oh, there are, believe me. But we can't be as vocal as we want to. Especially not me. Almost every client of mine owns a Doll and they treat them badly. I can't really say anything against it or I'll lose clients and eventually my job."

Annie nodded that she understood what he was talking about because she had the same experience in the past weeks. How people judged other people who treated Dolls in a human way. Without hurting them, without giving them orders.

"Did you always want a Doll? To save one?"

"Oh no," he began to speak and handed her a tissue which he always kept in his pockets. "I never wanted a Doll. I'm a public person, more or less, and I know they expect me to treat Blaine in a specific way. That's why I never wanted one. Only, when I met Blaine and saw how his owner treated him, I couldn't look away anymore and got him out of there."

Annie smiled with her red eyes but he saw how she was clearly more relaxed.

"I can see how much you care about him. But I'm sure it's not that easy living with him, huh?"

Kurt tried not to think about how _much_ he cared about Blaine, otherwise he was going to blush and probably say something no one should know.

"It wasn't easy, no. I had no idea what to do with him because all I knew was that Dolls followed orders. Blaine did what he was taught and I let him be and got to know him. He's pretty smart and it was easy to make him understand that he wasn't going to be my servant but my friend."

"And is it true that they don't feel anything and have no heart?"

"I guess... Blaine said he feels physical pain and inner coldness and warmth. Warm is good, cold is bad. And, yeah... they don't have a heart."

Annie looked sad and Kurt knew exactly what she was thinking and feeling. He went through this many times, almost every day, only that his thoughts and feelings had changed into something stronger.

* * *

><p>Kurt, true to his word, called his team as soon as he got home and explained Annie's situation to them. Fortunately they did have room for another client and he gave them her number and texted Annie that they would call her. He texted his friends to make sure tomorrow evening was still on. Sebastian was the first who texted back:<em>It better fucking be, Hummel.<em>

"Have you ever been to a club, Blaine?" Kurt asked and settled down next to Blaine on the couch – their Chinese take out waiting on the coffee table.

"No. I was never allowed to. It's too dangerous for us Dolls."

"Oh... right. Sorry."

The thing was that inside his apartment everything seemed so perfect. No one treated Blaine badly, no one forced him into anything and Kurt got so used to this that he sometimes forgot what the world outside his walls was like. Of course Blaine couldn't go with them to a club, no Doll did that. There were people, both good and bad, but drunk and it was not the first time a Doll got 'raped' or killed or had some other horrible thing happen to them.

He could protect Blaine, he knew that, but it meant revealing Kurt's true thoughts and he didn't need or want any trouble.

"Well, my friend needs me, you know. So I'll go out tomorrow night and support him."

"Okay."

That was all Blaine said and started to eat. Kurt stared at him for a while, waiting for something; sadness, protest, anything that showed him that Blaine wanted him here. It never came. Kurt knew that and yet he felt disappointed that Blaine didn't say anything like 'please stay with me' or 'I'll think about you and wait for you'. Anything really, but he knew Blaine didn't feel such a thing.

He forced himself to eat and then brushed his teeth together with Blaine. They had developed this little domestic life together and he really liked that. He liked everything they shared as long as he didn't expect Blaine to show any emotions. But it was hard not to. When they sat together at the keyboard and Blaine sang the song quietly and Kurt watched him, it was hard to not get frustrated or sad because he wanted to see something on Blaine's face. Even when he announced that Blaine could sleep with him again, it was hard to ignore the pang in his chest when Blaine only nodded.

They climbed under the covers, facing each other and Blaine placed his hand on Kurt's chest, feeling for his heartbeat and closing the gap between their lips gently. Then Kurt forgot everything and melted into the feeling, smiling happily when Blaine placed his head where the neck met the shoulder and they held each other for the rest of the night. That was the only thing that made the pain worth it and Kurt wanted that to be enough.

* * *

><p>Their night at the club ended with a pretty drunk and crying Sebastian and Kurt and Elliott carrying him home. No one really blamed him for that because they both saw how devastated Sebastian was. He didn't even dance. All Sebastian could do was drink and talk – mainly about how worried and angry he was because Hunter didn't contact him. They never mentioned the Doll Company by name, too worried someone might hear them and when Sebastian reached his limit they dragged him out of the club and back home, before he could say anything stupid.<p>

They forced him to drink some water, eat something and an hour later Sebastian did feel better and seemed more sober. Kurt asked again if he was sure he would be okay on his own and Sebastian assured him he would, said his thanks and they left his apartment a little bit after two in the morning.

"I feel truly sorry for Seb and I'm really worried about Hunter," Elliott said as they walked side by side to Kurt's apartment, both wearing a nice button down, jeans and a black jacket. It was still a bit cold outside at night.

"I'd be worried too but I also trust Hunter. Do you really think he'd put himself in danger?"

"No. He's too smart for that. However, what do we know about this company? They are powerful and rich and no one gets inside who is not working for them. We don't know anything else and I don't want to be pessimistic or anything because you're right about Hunter. Still, I think we also need to be realistic."

Two weeks later Sebastian finally got a message from Hunter that he was doing okay and would be back soon. It was not much but it was something and when Sebastian finally smiled, for the first time in weeks, Kurt was happy for him but he also felt the familiar pain coming back. Sebastian was sitting in his kitchen, smiling at his phone and although they were just words, they were from Hunter, from the person he loved and Kurt could see that love on his face.

Not just love but also relief, happiness and his eyes were shining so beautifully that he needed to look at Blaine who sat across from him. His empty eyes studied Sebastian's expression and the contrast was painfully visible. Sebastian was full of life, filled with emotions, good and bad, and through them he told you how he felt. Blaine only had his logic and words.

In the past two weeks Kurt had had a hard time dealing with this. He still loved to cuddle with Blaine, kiss Blaine, share a bed with Blaine. He never wanted to stop doing this and he felt bad for wanting something he could never have.

All his life, Kurt had never been sure what he expected to happen when he fell in love or what he wanted or how it would feel. But he was certain this was not what he needed. Well, not what he wanted. Feeling Blaine physically was amazing and he was addicted to this. However, Blaine never gave him that feeling back. The passion, the need, the happiness and giddiness every other partner had given Kurt.

Blaine didn't do anything wrong. He kissed Kurt, held him, did all the things he had seen in movies and porn and made Kurt gasp and moan. But that was it, an act, a farce. Kurt knew it, right from the beginning he knew it. Falling for Blaine was a bad idea and he felt bad for wanting something that Blaine couldn't give him.

Yet, Kurt didn't stop kissing Blaine, didn't tell him to leave his bed nor stopped cuddling with him. Both ways hurt him: with Blaine or without Blaine.

* * *

><p>It was May, two days before his birthday and Kurt watched Blaine and Molly play, both laughing and smiling while they build a castle with Lego. He leaned against the door frame, watching Blaine closely, noticing how good he was at working with kids. He was patient, calm and Molly literally adored Blaine. She wasn't afraid of his eyes, wasn't even questioning him anymore. She just accepted him the way he was. Kurt wished he could just do the same, but he was an adult, with experience and knowledge. His life was no longer simple and his heart was captured by something he couldn't find a way out of.<p>

"Are you okay, Kurt?" Annie said and her voice dragged him out of his deep thoughts. Slowly he looked away from Blaine and Molly to meet Annie's eyes, who stood next to him, a worried look on her face. Something in the way she looked at him made the wall he kept up for so long, crumble inside Kurt. He wanted to tell her everything he didn't even tell his friends.

Kurt swallowed, composing himself because he didn't want to cry in front of her but he wanted to say it. He needed someone to talk to about this and Annie seemed to be the perfect person. Contrary to Kurt, Annie never had much to do with Dolls and she didn't know Kurt as well as his other friends did. Somehow this made him feel more comfortable than being around people he knew and who knew him.

"I... You were right, you know? I care about Blaine... a lot."

That was all he needed to say and Annie led them both away from Molly's room and straight to the huge, beautiful kitchen. They sat down on the white chairs, Annie across from him, looking at Kurt with the same worried look but it slowly changed into an observing one and then she understood what he truly meant.

"Oh... and that's forbidden, right?"

"Well... it's not normal, no. It's also rather... frustrating. He doesn't feel anything and... I can't even describe it but it's like... I want to be close but it's like, being with a lifeless person. It feels like I'm forcing him sometimes."

Annie nodded to show her understanding and Kurt sighed, feeling better after he let it out, finally.

"You know that... I don't know much about Dolls. But... isn't there a way to give them a heart? Maybe this would change things for them?"

"Oh no. No Doll will ever get a heart. They are not worth it. I was actually hoping that... if we got close he might feel something. All their life they experience no love, nothing nice. People treat them like they are things, like... nothing. They kill them, rape them, sell them... and I thought maybe Blaine needs someone who cares and... and..."

"Loves him?" Annie finished it for him with a smile and Kurt stopped breathing. Love? No, he didn't love Blaine. He cared about him, a lot. But he didn't love him. Love was strong in a good and a bad way and he dreaded the bad way.

* * *

><p>Annie was a young woman but she was a wise one and told Kurt something that reminded him of his mother and father. Love had many forms and many ways to start blooming, growing and fading. The love for her daughter made her strong and Molly, although without a father or grandparents, happy. So that was her advice; Kurt should hold on and don't give up that easily. After 26 years, they both agreed, it would take a while for Blaine to change, and maybe even to feel.<p>

Maybe he had a heart and it just wasn't beating? Kurt never came up with this theory but Annie did. He was sure that was not the case but he wanted to try it. He wanted to give Blaine everything he felt for him in the most gentle way possible. So the next day he canceled all his appointments for the next two days and mentally prepared himself for what he, they, were about to do.

They made breakfast together, cleaning the apartment and Kurt told Blaine that he wanted their evening to be like a date. Dinner, movie, singing and he even asked him, with a bright blush on his cheeks, if Blaine was ready to have sex with him. Blaine, of course said yes. He made something light and delicious for them, put two candles on the table to make it romantic. He had never made that much of an effort for any guy. At least it felt like that.

To his surprise dinner turned out to be something else. Blaine smiled and talked about his books and Molly, as if it was a normal date. Kurt told him about Annie and the dress they were making. It was surprisingly different and maybe because Kurt said it's a date, Blaine acted that way. Or maybe not but Kurt liked it. Done with dinner they cleaned the dishes, took separate showers and didn't even make it to watch a movie because they were talking for so long.

Dressed in their pajamas, Blaine already sat at the keyboard and Kurt joined him, listening to Blaine quietly singing the words. Even this had changed. He wasn't just singing, he was singing like he was remembering something and when Blaine was done Kurt asked.

"Do you remember anything?"

"I remember that... whoever sang this to me made me warm from the inside. A different warm from the one you make me feel. But it's a good one still."

Then Blaine smiled and Kurt needed to lean in and kiss him. It felt like the kiss they had shared on New Year's Eve, like this was also a new beginning and it was in some way.

"I really like you, Blaine. Like a lot, you know." Kurt said just leaning back and caressing Blaine's cheek with his fingers. His skin was so soft and warm after the shower and he smelled really good.

"You do?"

"Yes, I do. That's why I... I want to try to be closer to you and maybe you need that, you know?"

"Need what?" Blaine asked and his hand rested again on Kurt's chest, feeling for his fast beating heart.

"Someone who likes you... who treats you in a loving way. Who... shows you love and its many forms."

His mouth suddenly felt so dry after saying that word, love. But it was out and he figured that it had been the right thing to say to make Blaine understand. Love, for Blaine, was complicated but he did understand that love was not just one way. Some love was strong, some not, some labeled as friendship, some as more or less or different.

"You want to do that? Have sex with me?"

"I want to show you how I feel, Blaine. I don't want to use you or force you. I want this to be something we both want."

Blaine said nothing, thought and then nodded.

"Okay. I want to."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes." Blaine said with a tiny smile and Kurt took his hand and guided them to the bedroom. He closed the door behind him and Blaine already moved to the bed, unbuttoning his pajama top but Kurt pulled him gently back, knowing what Blaine expected to do.

Sex for him had always been one way, him naked on the bed while someone took him. That was not going to happen tonight.

"Listen," he spoke quietly and wrapped his arms around Blaine's shoulder, leaning their foreheads together and felt how Blaine relaxed under this arms. "We do whatever is comfortable and we do it slow, okay? This is not just... fucking and achieving an orgasm. We... we'll make love, okay? You know what this means, right?"

"I know." Blaine answered, framing Kurt's face with his hands and pulling him into a slow kiss. That was all they did for a while, kissing gently, and undressing each other. Blaine hesitated, but more because he needed time to understand what Kurt was doing and then he copied his actions.

Soon they stumbled to the bed, only in their underwear and Kurt gently pushed Blaine down, climbing right after him and lying down next to him. Another smile from both sides, lips sliding together and then their hands began to explore the other's body. Kurt already knew certain parts of Blaine's body but he still touched them, his arms, shoulders, chest, wandering down to his waist, hips and around his ass to squeeze it gently, teasingly. Any other person would have gasped, moaned, done anything, felt anything, Blaine did not. He just moved closer, pulling Kurt closer until their cocks touched through the fabric of their underwear.

Kurt did moan then, trying to ignore the hurt he felt because Blaine was not responding in the way he wanted him to. He needed to stop thinking that this meant something bad. It couldn't mean something bad when Blaine still responded physically. More kisses, more touching and more noises fell from Kurt's mouth.

"Are you warm?" Kurt asked between kisses.

"Yes. Very warm," Blaine whispered and that was new. Blaine never whispered. He always used the same tone when he spoke. Was this maybe the right way? Or just Blaine pretending because he remembered the pornos he had seen? Still, he said he was warm and that was a good sign.

"Okay. I'll take our underwear off, okay?"

"Okay."

He motioned Blaine to lie down on his back and settled between his legs, breathing in to gather some courage and determination before he pulled his black briefs down. Kurt did not look right away, he took his own underwear off as he stood and let both fall to the floor, only then taking Blaine in. Naked, beautiful and watching Kurt as well.

His eyes stopped at the silver necklace, with his name on it which marked Blaine as his for the public. He wanted Blaine to be his, but in a different way. Shaking his head to get rid of the bad thoughts about how much he hated this necklace, his eyes wandered further down instead.

Blaine was hard, already leaking and Kurt thought to himself that Blaine's body reacted so fast and eagerly because he hadn't had sex for months. Just like Kurt's body reacted in its natural way but he also felt the need to be close to Blaine and share this with him. Not fast, not meaningless. He counted to three, let his heart calm down a little and then climbed back on the bed, hovered above Blaine and kept himself up on his elbows to share a deep kiss. His tongue nipped against Blaine's mouth and he opened it, welcoming him just like he always did.

More minutes were used for just kissing and Blaine let his hands roam over Kurt's back, gentle and exploring and slowly Kurt let his body down, gasped when he felt Blaine's thick and long cock against his own and began to move.

This was better than the last time because Blaine, for some reason, made convincing noises. Small whimpers, breathy moans and when their eyes met he even smiled. There it was again, the feeling that threatened to ban his sanity and just make Kurt do what he needed and wanted. There was something about Blaine that made him lose his mind and want more and more. But this time Kurt didn't let it happen. He took his time kissing Blaine; his lips and nose, his jaw and collarbone and he sucked at his left nipple and then the right one.

No noise, not even when he wandered further down with his lips, kissing his adorable little tummy, his hipbone and when he felt the head of Blaine's cock against his chin, his whole body began to burn. He loved to suck cock and didn't feel any shame in admitting this to himself. He loved the taste and stretch of giving a blow job just as much as receiving one. But when he licked the head of Blaine's cock and again, no noise, nothing, Kurt got worried.

"You okay?"

"I guess... I'm warm, so warm. When you did that it got even warmer."

Warm was good, Kurt knew that but when he licked Blaine's cock again no noise, no moan, nothing. He didn't even buck up his hips, didn't plead for more and Kurt felt uncomfortable. He never experienced anything like this. No response at all and Kurt moved back up, looking down at Blaine's face to see if he truly wanted this or not.

Their eyes met, Kurt's searching, Blaine's staring and the little smile returned as Blaine's hand gently caressed Kurt's cheek.

"You look worried." Blaine remarked.

"That's because I am."

"Why? You said you like me and sex between people who like each other is good, right?"

"It is...but-"

"It's okay, Kurt. I feel warm, very warm. This is good."

It might have been good, it might have been right. Still, the way Blaine did not respond with pleasure, with moans, with need made Kurt rethink all of this.

"We'll do something else, okay?"

Blaine nodded and Kurt rolled off of him, reaching out for the lube in his drawer of the nightstand and opened the cap.

"C'mere." Kurt smiled and Blaine rolled on his left side facing Kurt who grabbed Blaine's leg and guided it around his body while pushing his own leg between Blaine's.

"I know this. I saw a video," Blaine said and smiled.

"Good," Kurt smiled back and poured some lube into his hand, reaching between their bodies and taking both of their cocks into his hand and began to stroke slowly.

"Fuck," he cursed under his breath, closed his eyes and sought for Blaine's lips, that were right there, kissing him back. It was so hot to feel Blaine's naked cock against his. Blaine was not as long as Kurt but he was thicker, veins everywhere, and he wished he could feel him inside. Feel Blaine stretch him and fill him and make him lose himself. One day he wanted that.

"_Kurt,_" Blaine moaned, he freaking moaned, and that was all Kurt needed to come like a teenager who masturbated for the first time ever. But Blaine did not only moan, he also shoved his tongue into Kurt's mouth, moved his hips with Kurt's hand and then cried out, not loud but low and short, when he came. Kurt was overwhelmed, his orgasm still shaking through his body, gasping for air but he noticed it. He had heard and felt it all, the little need? Want? The something that was coming from Blaine.

Only, when they both calmed down and Kurt opened his eyes, Blaine was the Blaine he was used to seeing every day. Eyes empty, lips putting on a smile and hand resting on Kurt's chest. Maybe he made it all up?

* * *

><p>Kurt woke up alone in his bed, on his birthday, feeling like everything had been a dream. A long hot dream where Blaine felt something and showed him how he felt. Had it been just in his mind? Just his ears making him hear what he wanted to hear? God, he wanted to ask Blaine but he was scared to hear that it had never happened. At least he didn't feel bad about last night. It was still... different but he was able to stop himself from doing something he wasn't certain about. It was good, amazing and Blaine did became better and better at acting like a human.<p>

Today was his birthday, a day to be happy and to celebrate and his friends would come over later. His phone was probably exploding with messages, the postman would carry some packages for him, just like every year. With a groan he rolled off his bed, put his pajamas back on and walked out of his bedroom, into the kitchen.

He stopped in his tracks when he saw a huge birthday cake on the table, in blue and green frosting, candles around the edge and an adorable Blaine, with a mess of curls on his head, beaming at Kurt. Actually beaming. That was even better than the cake. Kurt was busy staring at Blaine, everything else didn't even matter anymore. Only Blaine, his smile and his lips on Kurt's.

Perhaps he did not imagine what had happened last night.

"Happy Birthday, Kurt," Blaine said against his lips and his voice did sound happy but his eyes still remained empty.

"Thank you." Kurt answered, still stunned because of everything and then he took Blaine's hand and walked into the kitchen, taking a closer look at the cake. There was a huge 27 on it and he was sure he knew that handwriting.

"Blaine, did... Annie make this?"

"She did," he answered and his voice had the same tone as usual. No emotion at all but a smile on his lips. "She helped me. I know birthdays require a cake and gifts and I wanted to do it right."

"You did," Kurt smiled and kissed his cheek.

"I have a gift for you, too." Blaine said and reached under the table to get a little gift from the chair. Kurt guessed that Annie not only made the cake but also bought the gift since Blaine suggested to not go out alone ever again after that cleaning fiasco.

"You always look at my necklace like you don't want it to be there. I know why and I also know you want to make life beautiful for me. And I thought that if you have something too you wouldn't feel like it's a burden for you to deal with alone."

Kurt blinked and unwrapped the little gift, opened the box and found a silver bracelet with Blaine's name on it. Only Blaine because no one knew his last name.

"It's beautiful. You're beautiful. Thank you." Kurt said and kissed him. "And you become better and better at reading emotions."

"You like it?"

"I do. A lot."

He wanted to wear it, he wanted for everyone to see it but he was not ready to let his friends see it. They would know what was behind it. However, Blaine was right. Wearing this would totally make him feel better because as weird as it was for him to see Blaine wearing the necklace, only to mark him as Kurt's, the bracelet would be equally weird, but it would make all of this easier.

They put the cake into the fridge, had breakfast, made sure everything was clean and ready for their friends to arrive. They were done around six and still had two hours to themselves before their friends would come.

"Wanna cuddle for a while?" Kurt asked.

"Okay." Blaine said and smiled a little bit.

Blaine's beaming smile, his kisses that felt like something, never returned during that day. Blaine was back to his old self, but Kurt wasn't worried. It took Blaine months to smile properly, he still couldn't laugh in a real way and it would probably take another couple of months before he could... well, feel? Whatever happened to him, whatever made him beam and react like he did last night, Kurt wanted to try more of that, try more of everything that maybe could help Blaine to feel anything at all.

They walked into the living room but never made it to the couch because someone was knocking at his door. It could only have been his friends or team, only they knew where Kurt lived. But they weren't supposed to be here, not yet. He rolled his eyes and pulled his sleeve over the bracelet before he opened the door and his mouth fell open.

"Hunter you-" But Kurt snapped his mouth shut when he noticed a woman next to him. One with long, brown hair, hazel eyes and her face was not that unfamiliar.

"Can we come in?" Hunter asked and looked around.

"Yeah, sure." Kurt said and stepped aside, letting them both inside and closed the door.

"Where's Sebastian?"

"He doesn't know I'm here." Hunter explained and Kurt was ready to open his mouth and give him a lecture in how to be a proper boyfriend and accuse him of worrying Sebastian for weeks. But Hunter held his hand up and the pleading look on the woman's face made him snap his mouth shut.

"I needed to get here first. I promise I'll pick him up and we'll get here together. But first, Kurt, I want you to meet Pam Anderson."

"Hello Kurt," she smiled and showed him her white perfect teeth but her eyes seemed old, tired even.

"Hello um," he stammered and shook her hand, still trying to figure out who she was. "I... do we know each other?"

He suddenly felt nervous, tugged at his sleeve and looked behind her to make sure Blaine was still there. He was, sitting on the couch and waiting.

"No. We don't. But you know my son."

"Your son?"

Hunter nodded slowly and then pointed to Blaine who still didn't turn around, just like they had agreed to when a stranger came to visit Kurt. He acted like the perfect Doll. But why was Hunter... wait.

"What?" Kurt exclaimed.

This woman was Blaine's mother?

* * *

><p><strong>Mean cliffhanger, I know. I feel bad about it (but not really :D). IDK if I mentioned this but this fic will be (or is planned to be ) a long fic, or that's the plan, I also have a sequel in mind but we'll see how the story evolves. And thank you so much for the reviews, omg, some made me blush and smile, some gave me amazing ideas. You guys are really sweet and thank you for taking the time to leave a comment. It really really means a lot to every writer, don't forget that please an I wish I could answer you all (especially on FFnet) but know that I read and appreciate every review. Now, I'm really curious about what you guys think and I'm already working on the next chapter :)<strong>


	13. Scientist

**HAPPY KLAINE POST-WEDDING! And sorry for the late update. Last week was horrible, really, I couldn't focus on anything and I know you guys have been waiting! Now, this chapter was longer but I needed to make it into two parts. There is a lot of information coming and I'm sure you guys need some time to take it all in :) here we go!**

* * *

><p>Chapter 13. Scientist<p>

Dolls were 'human beings' born without a heart and that was the reason why they were labeled as dangerous, and became the property of the Doll Company. From that moment on they were no longer considered as human beings. The Dolls lived inside the Doll Company, learned there, grew up there until they turned 18 years old and got sold as servants for human beings. Rich people, companies that needed workers – and a Doll as a worker meant no complaining about anything.

Kurt didn't know the exact number of how many Dolls existed or how many were born every year. But that was not important. He had no idea why his mind was recalling all of this information. But somehow, staring at Pam Anderson did this to him. She still looked at him, worried, and Kurt was confused. Those eyes they looked a lot like Blaine's. The form, the color. But the real difference was the shine, the life, Pam's eyes held. Kurt wondered if Blaine's eyes would have looked the same way if he wasn't a Doll.

Then she looked to Hunter and Kurt found his way out of his stare and thoughts.

"I'm sorry, I... I just don't understand."

No, he didn't understand anything. Kurt had no doubt that this was Blaine's mother because he trusted Hunter and Hunter always made sure to get his facts straight. What confused him was that he felt so surprised about the fact that Blaine did have a mother. Dolls seemed so inhuman that although he knew they were born like any other human being, it was so easy to forget they had parents.

He never heard of the parents of a Doll. He never met a woman who gave birth to a Doll. Kurt always assumed they didn't care. Not that they had any other choice as to give it away but still... a parent cared about their baby, right? At least that was the feeling he got when he saw Pam Anderson.

"Pam will explain everything, Kurt. I also suggest that you two wait until we all get here. I know this is your birthday, Kurt... sorry man."

Right, his birthday. He totally forgot that it was his birthday. God he didn't even know what day and time it was since Blaine's mother stepped into his apartment.

"No, it's... it's fine. It's okay."

"You're safe here, Pam," Hunter smiled at her and the woman smiled back although her eyes remained sad. Then Hunter was gone and Kurt stood there with Pam, and Blaine sitting on the couch. Blaine's mother, he recalled it in his mind and suddenly he felt the need to protect Blaine. Suddenly he felt anger bubbling inside him when he realized truly, entirely that this was the woman who gave birth to Blaine.

Yet he didn't let this anger take control over him. It was not her fault that Blaine was born this way and labeled as dangerous. Right?

"I'm sorry for ruining your birthday, mister Hummel."

Manners she had.

"Kurt is fine," he said and walked around her to be closer to Blaine. He watched her, closely as she turned around as well and her eyes found Blaine, who was still sitting on the couch not moving or looking behind his shoulder. He wished his apartment was not so open and that the living room was a seperate room. But here they were, Blaine's mother pressing her fingers against her lips and eyes filling with tears when she noticed Blaine.

No matter how angry and confused he felt, this, seeing how a mother saw her child – probably for the first time after 26 years – almost broke his heart.

"Can you... can you tell him to leave? I don't want him to listen to what I have to say."

"What?"

Kurt's anger came back and this time he needed to ball his fists.

"Just trust me, okay? If you can't trust me then trust Hunter."

"I need a good explanation for all of this," was all he said before he turned away from her and gladly took Blaine anywhere where this woman was not. Who in their right mind sent their own son away after not seeing him for 26 years? Who gave their son away in the first place? God, he was so upset and he knew it was not exactly about Pam Anderson. It was everything he had held back. The anger towards all the rich people he had met. The anger towards the Doll Company. His anger towards every person who treated Dolls like shit.

"Can you come with me?" Kurt asked when he stood next to Blaine who nodded and followed Kurt into his bedroom. He closed the door behind him, let out a breath he didn't know he was holding and then froze when he heard Blaine asking.

"Do I have to leave you?"

Why would Blaine think that? Did he hear anything? No, Kurt was sure he didn't hear anything about who that woman was. The distance between the front door and living room was big enough to not hear everything that had been said in a whisper.

"Of course not. Why would you think that," Kurt asked and walked up to Blaine who just stood in the middle of the bedroom, his empty eyes watching Kurt.

"Because you seem upset about something."

"I just have to figure something out. It'll be okay," Kurt said with a small smile which grew a little bit when Blaine reached out for his hand. He loved every touch they shared, he loved the feeling but he still had trouble accepting them as what they were. Blaine didn't touch him to feel something. Every touch Blaine shared with him was exploring and reaching for the warmth he always described.

It had nothing to do with emotions.

"I need you to stay here while I talk to the woman in the living room."

"We wanted to celebrate your birthday though."

"Yeah," Kurt chuckled. "I know. But we can do that later or tomorrow. Right now I need you to stay here until I come and get you, okay?"

"Okay." Blaine said and closed the distance between their lips.

For some reason this kiss took Kurt by surprise. It was not a deep or long kiss, but a simple one, almost as if Blaine wanted to give him a reminder that he would be waiting with more of that. At least that was how it seemed for Kurt and he wrapped his arms around Blaine to keep him close for a while before he had to leave.

* * *

><p>Since he and Blaine shared a bed together some of his stuff found its way into Kurt's bedroom. That's why he wasn't worried about leaving Blaine alone because he had enough to read or could just watch something on his laptop. Not that Blaine felt boredom but Kurt simply cared for his well being no matter if he felt it or not.<p>

The bedroom door closed he went back into the living room where Pam Anderson was still standing and waiting for him to come back, busy with her phone. He cleared his throat and the woman looked up, finished the text or whatever she was typing and shoved it back into the pockets of her summer jacket. Meanwhile Kurt took a closer look at her and what she was wearing, probably a habit every designer had and he had to admit that this woman did have a sense for clothing.

Black jeans, a red blouse and black vest. She seemed so put together although her eyes and whole face tried to hide how she really felt. Relief, tears of probably joy that she found her son after so many years. It was hard for her, it must have been so Kurt decided to take it easy on her and listen. This was Blaine's mother after all and if he and Blaine met under 'normal' circumstances and maybe fell in love together he would have treated her in the best way possible. Now he just felt like he needed to protect Blaine from his own mother.

"I'm sorry for ruining your birthday. I'm sure you had other plans." She spoke.

"It's fine, really. I suppose you and Hunter have a good reason for this." Kurt said and gestured to the couch. "Do you want anything? Something to drink?"

"Water's just fine. Thank you."

Kurt nodded and went to the kitchen, glad that he had to do something because talking seemed like a bad idea. He didn't trust his mouth or his temper. With the glass of water in hand he walked back into the living room and gave Pam the glass, eyes fixed on her face for a second. They had some time left, probably twenty minutes until his friends would arrive. So while he sat down on the armchair across from the couch he kept his lips pressed together, although there were tons of things he wanted to say, yell even.

"Hunter told me that you care about the Dolls."

Kurt nodded slowly and watched her holding her glass while searching for the right words to say.

"I know this seems crazy to you and you're probably wondering why I waited for so many years to find him."

"I do," he said and knew his voice was anything but nice, judging by the way she closed her mouth and looked down. He was upset and he was scared, too. This was Blaine's mother and if she wanted to she could take Blaine with her although he was 26 years old. Kurt couldn't and wouldn't keep her son here if she wanted to take him to her home. Which didn't mean that it didn't hurt.

They were silent and waited but soon he heard the knock against his door and stood up, thankful that they finally arrived. He opened the door and instead of smiles he found a questioning Mercedes and Elliott and a Sebastian with red rimmed eyes, glued to Hunter's side. Hunter on the other hand had a red cheek, obviously from Sebastian's hand.

"Happy Birthday, Kurt," Elliott was the first one to speak when they were all inside his apartment.

"Thank you."

Kurt hugged his friends, heard their congratulations, took their gifts but it was not the happy, 'let's have a party' smile or feeling they gave him. Their eyes were glued to Pam Anderson who gave them all a smile, stood up and shook hand after hand in such a polite way that Kurt had a hard time dealing with all of it. Pam did look a lot like Blaine and Kurt wondered if he had had the same shine in his eyes, the same smile, if he were just as naturally polite as she was.

He followed them into the living room, feeling slightly annoyed and jealous about how easily they could talk to her. Stuff like, "Blaine looks like you", or, "I'm sorry you haven't seen your son for so long", without even asking why. With a huff he sat back down on the armchair, shot a warning glance at Hunter who got it and cleared his throat.

"Where is Blaine?" Mercedes asked when she noticed he was missing.

"Bedroom. Pam said he shouldn't be here and listen what she had to say." Kurt tried to hide how annoyed he was but he failed. His friends already gave him worried or questioning looks and he was not ready to let them see how he felt. How he felt about this whole situation and about Blaine. It was enough that Annie knew and although she didn't judge him nor tell him that it was pointless, he didn't want to take the risk with his friends.

They were amazing, caring, yes, but they were also far too honest and he was not ready to talk about anything he felt and didn't even admit to himself yet. Not entirely.

"Alright let's just start, okay? Otherwise Kurt and Sebastian punish us with a tantrum." Hunter suggested and sat down next to Pam and Sebastian. Mercedes and Elliott shared the other couch to Kurt's right side. Kurt was more than ready to hear the story. More than ready to be proven wrong about his worries. Because after that story he could go back to his bedroom where Blaine was waiting. So his eyes were fixed on Pam and Hunter.

"I'm sorry that I worried you guys. I really am. But they'd fired two people working for Feron so I applied for the position and it required me to pass some tests and some more convincing that I'm trustworthy. I succeeded and became one of his three assistants. We didn't get into the heart of the company, of course not because that would have been pretty stupid. But we were sent to other places like one of their laboratories. That's how I met Pam."

Kurt was not really surprised that although Hunter got so close to the boss of the Doll Company, he didn't get to know everything. They always had said and always knew that this company kept too many secrets. The parents who's kids were Dolls but no one ever talked about, the Dolls themselves with no rights and no chance to have a normal life and all the stories about how dangerous they were. Who knew what was true and what not because after a 100 years, there was no one alive to share the truth.

"Well, my name is not Pam Anderson officially. I changed it many years ago." Pam started to explain and gave Hunter a look as if she was looking for help or guidance and then Hunter just nodded. Kurt watched the change on her face. Sadness, pain and eyes that were no longer here but somewhere else. Probably in the past and watching memories which made her anything but happy.

He crossed his legs, let his hands rest on his knee and listened, trying not to yell or say anything stupid after hearing that even Pam – Blaine's mother – worked for the company.

"The company knows me under the name Tricia Jenkins. I needed to change my name so I could get into this company because if they knew I was Blaine's mother, they wouldn't let me in. We parents aren't allowed to do that, to get close to our kids when they become Dolls. They'll punish us if we try, even if we talk about what happened."

Silence filled the room while everyone waited for Pam to speak on. She didn't, in fact she looked embarrassed and even a little bit scared to say something, or say what she wanted to say. Kurt wondered why and also what she meant by 'become' Dolls. Weren't they born as Dolls?

"It's okay," Hunter said and broke the silence, squeezing Pam's hands which were entwined on her lab.

"I was pretty young when I got pregnant and so in love with Blaine's father and dreamed about this little family life. We moved from Westerville Ohio to Dallas because of his work and we had it for a while, the little family life. But then he left me and I was alone with my son and a job at a restaurant. I managed to take care of us but it got worse. I lost my job, my apartment and had nowhere to go. So I went to a woman's shelter in Dallas. Blaine was barely three years old back then."

"How could you keep your kid although he was born with no heart? I mean, the law says you have to contact the company?" Kurt asked, clearly confused.

"They are not born without hearts," Pam says without hesitation and Kurt heard Mercedes gasp, felt the air leave his lungs as well. Pam just looked around, taking all their expressions in before she explained what happened. Kurt tried not to feel or think anything at all just to not miss any of her words.

"There are no kids born without a heart, at all. Every Doll used to be a healthy child with a heart. They... the company... they look for young mothers and fathers who either don't want their baby or, well, basically buy them from the parent and promise to take care of them. They don't mention what they do to the kids, they only promise to take care of them.

I was... all I was thinking about was to give Blaine a good life. I had nothing and no one and seeing my child starving and living under these horrible circumstances I brought us in, no home, no food, nothing... it was too much for me. So I took the money and gave them my kid. I thought he was going to have a good life and one day I'd come back and we could start over. I thought I'd come back with a good job and a nice place to live in. I was so wrong."

Pam started to cry silently, struggling for words, shaking from head to toe because of all the pain and memories. The memory of the worst decision she ever made and Kurt almost felt sorry for her. Well, he actually did but he still didn't understand how she could do this, well knowing what this company did.

"They look for people who are weak and hopeless and need money and with a baby. So that the kid has basically no memory of a time before they get into the Doll Company," Hunter began to explain because Pam obviously couldn't.

"When they find those people they give them an ridiculous amount of money and just imagine you need it to survive. They use the weakness of young parents and then tell them they are not allowed to speak about it. If they do, they'll ruin them... or worse. Pam came back a year later, with a new life and a new job and tried to get Blaine back. Of course it didn't work out and before they could ruin her she backed off. Instead she decided to become a scientist, specifically for Dolls."

"Wait a second. So they basically... manipulate people with money to get their kids? And this for a hundred years now?" Elliott asked. Mercedes wiped her eyes dry and Kurt felt his own eyes burning. He always knew this company was filled with cruel and bad people.

Hunter nodded together with Pam.

"But if the babies are okay how are they... I mean... they have no hearts. How is that possible?" Mercedes asked while Kurt just watched them, taking everything in and trying to process all the new information.

"Well, I became a scientist and worked my way through until I got into the company. I changed my name and waited for ten years, worked here and there, then studied for five years and it took me two years before I got a job at the company. That's how I met Hunter. They came to our labor and we went out with mister Feron like we always do once in a month. Hunter just saw it that I was different and I told him my story. The rest is history."

Silence filled the room again and Kurt noticed how his mouth hung slightly open and closed it, still not trying to feel but aching to ask what seemed to be the most important thing for him.

"What about their hearts? I know Blaine has none."

Pam wiped her eyes dry, took a deep breath in and then out before she explained.

"Like I said, they are born as normal human beings with a heart. But... the company knows a way to rip their hearts out along with what makes us human. Feelings, needs, wishes, everything. They use a glove that has this power and only Richard Feron has access to this glove. It's an old thing filled with some kind of dark energy but has the power to turn you, well... into a Doll but your body still works as any other human body. My job basically is to investigate that energy but also the hearts."

Kurt felt Elliott's eyes on him, both staring at each other in disbelief while Mercedes seemed like she believed this pretty easily, Sebastian too, which was not really surprising. Kurt however had a hard time to deal with this. Dark energy? What? Not that he needed to understand it, oh now he didn't need to. Elliott probably came to the same conclusion.

"Wait, you said you investigate the hearts... so that means you know where they are? Like, Blaine's heart still exists?"

"Every Doll that still lives has a heart that still functions. Feron keeps them safe inside the building and only five people can get inside that room where he keeps the hearts. We have... we have five Dolls and their hearts and investigate them both. That's why I told you to send Blaine away. He may not feel anything but whatever he experiences goes right to his heart. Every emotion he is supposed to feel, everything."

Kurt's mind was racing only one thought, Blaine had a heart. He had a heart and there was a way he could get it back, right? If they were able to take it out from him there needed to be a way to get it back inside him. Then he could smile and laugh, cry and yell, feel and just be a human being. There was this small chance, this little hope growing inside him and it was stronger than the disgust and sadness he felt after hearing what had happened to Blaine. It made him feel bad, it did because he put his own need first instead of focusing on what had happened to Blaine and his mother.

"So there is a way he can... get his heart back? Have you ever tried that?" Kurt asked and tried not to sound too breathless.

"We did but it was... more of an accident."

Kurt didn't even hear the rest of it because his mind was yelling, everything inside him was yelling and celebrating the fact that, Blaine had a heart and could get it back. No doubt, no guessing it was a fact and all he wanted to do was cry out of sheer relief.

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><p><strong>Let me know what you think! It's also the perfect time to ask questions if you have some, I'll answer them all in the next chapter ;)<strong>


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